it's a weird feeling to be totally by myself compared to being myself in the presence of the other 2.. there's more comfort in numbers in the latter. not that it really matters right now, since i'm at the lobby watching boys over flowers. but yea, i'm curious to know where they are right now...

this wkend was pretty relaxed i guess. to be staying in hongkong and not having to worry abt what condition the next pt will present with or wat are the biomechanics of this and that... it's juz pure holiday..

Hai. can't believe that for the ortho inpt, i'll still be graded. kena stumped by all the simple qns today...


i can't play catch up anymore. any longer.
i miss being alone without being lonely.

i noe many of the 'consequences' are the results of the decisions i made, but i guess that's juz who i am. it's hard to put it in words. maybe i'm a complicated person who doesn't like to be 'manipulated', i like things to be done my way - unfortunately, when i'm ard with ppls who are more outspoken and have a mind of their own, instead of speaking up, i'd rather go do my own thing, my own way, myself, alone.

if u stay in a foreign land for 6wks with ppls whom u're are not used to, u either hate em or love em.
but whateva the emotion u choose for the person, only express it after the 6wks.
until then, u juz gotta suck it up, cos they are the ones u sleep next to every single night...

28 days have passed and i've made up my mind.

soon! ppls, i'm cmg home REAL SOON!!!
and soon i'll be able to treat my 2 kind friends for the help they've provided me few mths back! :)))))

i can't WAIT to get out of the clinic man! wk 3 was still tolerable. managed to survive somehow... but i dunno how much more he'd expect from us on the last wk!! i'm secretly glad i can't speak canto, so perhaps he doesn't expect me to give pt education.. haha. but then i wished i was able to understand the language more. cos it seems like my ce is so good with his pt, building up rapport and stuff. and i really wish i know what he was saying to the pt so i can pick up some stuff from him!

sigh.. i wonder how it'll be like if i'm here with my good pals instead.. haha.. i dunno... guess it depends on who..

hmm.. inservice is such a chore. i'd be out shopping like mad if it wasn't for inservice. not that i'm very productive anyway. juz kinda waiting for them to pass me the impt info..

miss the days at sydney.. guess it's always the case. when i'm in sg, i'll yearn to go overseas, and the moment i step out of sg, i wish i was back in sg. why is it this way??? i'm like half looking forward to gg aus for further studies, but now... after been to sydney for 1wk and hk for 3wks plus(soon 5wks), i can't decide if i really wana leave the stupid little red dot.

Updates from HK!

it's been super long since i last updated! been thru quite a lot but i'll try to summarise them all

day1: at the airport. started out really embarrassing cos my mum was rushing for work, and she kept insisting on me and the rest to check in. while the family of the other 2 are still like 'dilly dallying'.. which is understandable on their part. but i still feel my mum didn't have to be so kanchiong to send me off for a 6wks HK attachment

my 4mth old samsung pixxon broke down on me the moment the plane landed in hk. it literally burnt up. -.- so annoying

we got lost on the way to the hotel becos we took bus instead of cab. BAD CHOICE. DUN EVEN DO THAT OK. [now tt we look back on that experience, we cld have found our way easier since we juz walked rounds and rounds abt the hotel. but still. if u have a 20kg lugguage. TAKE A CAB]

sobbed and sobbed on the first nite there when we found out the room was freaking small. it was really extremely small.. and all the problems surfaced upon us and we just cldn't control our tears... fortunately, a kind soul appeared and we managed to switch to a bigger room the next day. accommodation- settled.

Clinicals. our CE is no-joke, no-nonsence kind one ok. tt says it all. nothing close to my neuro CE in ttsh. and we had peripherals on top of spine cases! ARGH. anyway, i was really stressed out during the first and 2nd wk. cried and called my mum to talk abt it.. it was quite similar to how i felt back on the day before bio Alevels.. juz extremely painful. not to mention i was in a foreign land far far away from home. did not help at all. but after a while, i got settled. i dun think my mid-eval is extremely reflective of my competency due to lack of spine cases. so. oh wells. i hope to do better within the next 2 wks since my spine placement is only 4 wks short. [yes, i'm extremely happy to say that my spine placement is only 4 wks. i dun think i can handle this amt of stress any longer. but of course tt meant i only have 4(now 2) wks left to redeem myself... ]

shopping wise- let's juz say i'm the type tt will buy stuff tt can be found in sg overseas. yea. so brands like esp nike and adidas- i'll buy them when i'm overseas cos tt's when i can spend the money more at ease. haha. rubbish. wateva... i haven't decided if i shld get converse anot.. not really my style. haha. maybe la. still got one more yr of uni(if i get in). i juz feel like my sense of style and clothings shld change now tt i'm a adult..ok. tt's abit rubbish. i can't phrase it well. but yea. something along tt line tt i shld dress nicely more. haha.

hmm. i declare sunday my free and easy day. cos the other 2 go church, and i decide i shall do whateva i like whenever i want. so yup.

yup. food is alrite here... had a century egg porridge lunch diet last wk.. haha... muz save money over the wkdays so that i can spend more over the wkends!!

i miss my mummy.... everytime i'm sad and i talk to her, i'll miss her more... and i'll end up crying... i dunno how my grades will turn our - both the exam and the placement grades.. i really hope i'll do well this 2 wks and prove my competency.

on the brigher side...

i realised the past few entries have been way too depressing. so i shall have a "happy" one for now!

ok. so clinicals are over. obviously i dun fare as well in clinicals as i had so in my yr2 semesters. i forsee the one in HK won't be any easier, but i shall TAKE ON THE CHALLENGE and conquer my fear for outpt! hahaha :)

HK. yes. speaking of HK. i'm leaving in abt 10days time? that's damn fast rite?!
started packing alr... though i'm not too sure what books or lecture notes to bring along.. damn i only have one nite to pack! i hope i dun have to buy anything last min. most prob can buy it over at HK bah. quite excited...

... BUT

exams is in 7 days. i feel like i haven't had decent muggin session for super long. the pass few days juz doing paeds was driving me crazy. so glad i'm done with it alr! phew. which is why i'm quite happy. haha..

i wana go macau after hongkong! i wana see the remains of that st paul's cathedral. the one where boys over flowers had a scene there...it's been so long since i last got addicted to a drama serial.. it's nice to have something to look foward to watch every sat. too bad i can't do so for the next 7wks! damn! muz record them down!!!

hai. yet another placement to pull down my overall gpa. i dunno how my exam grades are gonna help pull up the overall.
GRADES REALLY DO MATTER. no matter how much u learn from the placements or based on the mistakes u make, grades are the ones tt are so possibly gonna make or break u.
well, in my case. i think i'm pretty screwed.
i didn't think my clinical skill will be this bad until i actually come for outpatient.
i need more C2s. this is insanity.

i really want to have a part in making these people better.
but i'm not sure if this is meant for me.

SUCK IT UP JOYCE!!!!!!!!!!

to be honest. i haven't really learn much this placement. and it's been 3 weeks alr. this wk passed esp fast. i tried to redeem myself. but there wasn't really much opportunity to do so.

i dunno what to do man.

i have the worst grades ever over this past sem!!!!!!!
D+ D+ C+
SERIOUSLY CRAP MAN.
Like so what if i can "afford" to go to a uni now? i dunno if my grades can still ensure me a univerity entry!!! F*&^$#@!$%&* juz cos got scholarship doesn't = confirm entrance u know!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn it man.i muz now get almost full marks in order to juz get a B+. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

prediction for exam papers:
CP is damn hard.
AP is HARD - unknown.
MS- usually ok, but this time round maybe not becos of youknowwho

have i been slacking too much? issit becos i dun stress myself before the tests, tt's why i've stopped achieveing better than what i could? or was it really becos the paper was too tough? hmm.. probably my fault. the way i handle stress.. taking everything to be too easy... wrong! i muz change asap. i gotta aim higher and produce a miracle during the exams. (my heart totally sank as i type the previous sentence.) it's so tough.

now.. i juz wana enter a university... tt's all....

annoyingly cute. dammit




all the best for wk3!

oh i can't wait to have my room to myself!!! first is to remove the ugly cabinet tt takes up half the room! then buy new bed, wardrobe, nice desk, and one extremely comfy single couch to lay on. oh, and a punching bag wld be nice too.

first wk at ttsh is fine. not the best. but definitely have the cutest CE of all. haha. all neuro PTs are so soft and nice.

too busy/sleepy to study this weekend! slept from 10pm to 10am today. rushed to bro's engagement. slept again. watching harry potter til midnite or smthg. then boys over flowers. (YES I'M WATCHING TT SHOW. IT'S QUITE NICE. I HAVE TO ADMIT IT.)then tmr gg to watch harry potter (6) in the noon, then AT NITE, gg to watch harry potter AGAIN (on tv). haha. it's like the harry potter weekend. hopefully can go jog a little in the morn (provided i wake up early!)

wants to start on my obesity essay and AP revision soon!

wk 12 is OVER! thank god. dun have to do repract for either ms nor cp. HUGE RELIEVE.
phew!!!!!!!!

now napfa. sian. clash with menses somemore lor. 2.4 sure gone case. as usual.

of course i'm delighted tt i'm posted to ttsh for CE3A. somemore it's with nurul and mashy! company's always important. not too crazy abt the distance and the fact tt it's neuro instead of MS/CP. means i need to fork out extra time to study for the upcoming exams. totally dreads it

it feels like a holiday all over again. sigh. sad sigh.

finally signed the deed :)

jie and cheryl are back. but i think they gotta self-quarantine themselves first. and i really can't risk getting h1n1 this period. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

had a pretty good dinner at hardrock cafe with the ntmb ppls :) it was kinda a rowdy place.. a little noisy.. the food is decent tho. recession deal was pretty good. 23.40 for nice mushroom soup, steak(or cod fish) as main, brownie with ice cream and tea/coffee.
bonding time with them was pretty nice too.. esp the part abt planning for the future in aussie.

i'm quite saddened abt the recent break up between kate and jon gosselin. if only they hadn't start the show abt how they handle/cope with their 8 children. now, these 8 children will not be able to experience parental love similar to those of other normal family. sadness. i love collin. can't imagine what will become of them as they grow up.

makes me think twice abt having so many kids. if my partner is gonna cheat on me when our kids are 5, i dun think i'm noble enuf to ignore it and tolerate it for the sake of my kids. but getting a divorce will juz break my heart and my kids will juz be so heartbroken (even tho they won't understand the repercussions of it til much later).

on another note,
yahoo news: more singles leaving it to chance to find their other half.
“And because so many people are hoping to meet someone by chance, the probability of that happening is very low. So as a result, why many are still single is because they have not met anyone that they want to be involved with.”

i knew it man.
who said the right guy will juz come along when the time is right? not true lor. everyone wait and wait and wait. wait until all the hair become white liao lor. mine alr one-tenth white le :(


on another another side note.
i have mixed feelings regarding the wk11 being elearning. sure enuf, i haven't studied much and i really need the extra time. but can u imagine, wk12? having to do ALL of wk 11 work PLUS PLUS having to get prepared for clinicals on wk13. INSANITY man. plus napfa, which i confirm will fail. SIGH. and ms prac. MEANS I CANT FAIL MS PRAC LEH. wah lao. how to retake ms prac if it's all in the same wk. CHOI. of cos i dun wana retake la.oh. and CP. OMG.

ohmytian.

sadness.
or maybe just stupidity.

my life revolves ard fyp... oh my god.. it's so damn frustrating!!!
i dunno wat's worse. not knowing wat to do, or having TOO MUCH TO DO!
ARGH
seems like i can't get to start on other stuff cos everytime i'm in the mood to do some non-fyp work, i seem to drift off to doing fyp instead!!!
it's so freaking frustrating!!!!

to do list in this 2 wks:
NON-FYP
ms clinical pattern
ms revision
ms prac
work beh test
paeds
applied physio intro
applied physio revision
cp revision
cp prac revision

FYP
carry out actual expt
think of stats analysis
get ready fyp proposal and viva defense. craploadofbullshit.

and i'm supposed to enjoy this term break no matter what. ARGH

wk 7 has ended. one more wk to our supposed 2wkbreaks...
i've completed the B1 of my BD, and i juz bought a hip scarf :)
i still got tons to do, as usual.
i need to sign the deed, i want to get my allowance.
i have tons to buy (as usual)it's GSS, and i haven't bought a thing yet. HIP SCARF NOT COUNTED.
i'm not sure if i shld buy wii next wk. my mum might kill me.

i dreamt abt limjie again. haha. pls dun bring back swine flue, jie! otherwise u'll get quarantined, and we can't see u!

anyway, i juz want to tell all my pt frens that this year have been great even with the humongous workload. i feel like i finally belong to the group, and i have really enjoyed the company :D thank u guys, and i'm pretty sure we'll all get through this/these and come out better and stronger and FUNNIER TOO :D

everyone, i'm gg to HONGKONG.
27th AUG to 8 OCT 2009.

confirmed, guaranteed plus chop and stamped.

happiness people.

2nd trip in a year. i hope my money comes in soon man. STILL HAVEN'T SIGN THE DEED. SO SIAN....

i wana buy my wii next wk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not so sure abt it. but i hope i get to buy it!!!
i owe my mum ALOT OF MONEY man!

first case of h1n1 in sg. i hope it doesn't spread. i want to finish my clinicals, finish my fyp, go to HK, and graduate as planned. no surprises.

anyway, i was in the toilet when the news came on abt the girl who returned from NY. and i thought abt my dreams. not wat i dreamt when i slp, but juz in general dreams.
i'm a very simple girl, quite easily contented, and i try to count my blessings every now and then.

my dreams are
-get a physio degree
-i wana work overseas
-get married. hopefully to-you-know-who-and-no-it-doesn't-have-to-be-mr.p-but-i-wouldn't-mind-anyway
-have kids. omg. i really wana have kids with the above mentioned..
-travel around the world, gg to places like europe,states,ozland,(no, i dun wana go india and get molested when i arrive at the airport nor do i wana backpack ard china(minus HK and TW). sorry, i won't waste my money liddat.)
-i want to work til i'm 40. i hope my husband is the heir of some CEO grandpapa.
-i want to stay in a suburb and be like one of those desperate housewives
-i want to keep my friends close to me so all our children will grow up getting hitched or being BFFS

if i have to choose between travelling and having a family. handsdown the latter wins. unless the guy i marry is a jerk. in that case then i'll probably remain single and travel ard the world for the rest of my life.

yea. btw, i think i finally finished lit review.

happy21stbdaycherylteojiahui :D even though u probably won't see this.

i'm abt to finish my lit review. not finish finish to the extent that i can submit it, but just to the point where i need a couple more evidence to back me up, and an editor for my poor language.
and i feel like writing a post, so here i am.

i saw a couple of pics on fb.
will one change if she moves from sg to aussie to study? like, will the personality change? her dressing definitely yes - cos of weather. but also like her style(summer time) will be better too right, compared to if she had stayed here in sg. Probably becos AM tends to dress up better and more... and in sg, when it's hot, i'd rather stay home then dress up, go out and sweat in my pretty clothes. haha.
Personality will change becos she isn't really who she wants to be in sg, but if she goes to aus, she will find it more comfortable? how can that be true? i dunno.
when she returns, how will she see the rest of her friends? will be be comfortable with them? (well it depends on who she hung out back in aus - AM vs asians? but then again, the asians could very well be AM-type)
why do college students like to drink alcohol? i mean SERIOUSLY. why????? why is it such a big deal? will i go to a party and there won't be any soda available? that will be terribly awful.

i took a canto test on fb and it says CMI. DIE man. seriously jia lat liao. better get amanda to teach me during the coming break. i forsee ppls will look at me with a long neck and tease and taunt me like how he did when i was 9. a traumatic experience i muz say. lots of scarves!

lots of work to be done over the next few weeks. i'm anticipating for the wk 11 to arrive. when it comes, it'll have to leave. hahaha. nonscence. i juz wana get things done and over with.

had dinner with amanda and angie at kimgary last fri. reason? none. juz wanted to spend time with them? how can friends be friends for the sake of buying presnts and celebrating bdays? it's the fun and comfortable-ness, and a really good distraction away from all work and stress. bonding time is always fun for me :D

belly dance class is fine. 2 down, 2 more to go. hmm. i'll probably take the next level after i return from HK. muz make use of my membership mah.

a new wk awaits all of us tmr. let's do it!