i rmb..back in sec 3/4, i was complaning about studying amaths.. and physics.. cos i suxed in both subjects and i was also telling myself that i don't wanna have anything to do with physics or math in the future.. at least cheam math lah...
now i'm in such a dilemma.. well not exactly dilemma cos i'm not forced to make one out of 2 choices.. i feel frustrated... i went to the ntu, smu and nus webbies to see what i can take or what i shld take and/or so that i can make a decision for the option form thingy... i'm thinking of bio, chem and math... yes, i'm dropping econs... cos i totally sux at math and i feel that i need to concentrate more on that very impt subject.... then i was thinking, wat to take in nus? dentistry, pharmacy???? it's so diao lor, now that i think about it... study that to make money? study that to please my folks? i noe this is reality... but i juz refuse to face it... i'm thinking of poly... but i dun think i like the kinda life there... well, the courses that may interest me in poly is tourism and design & environment.. but wat shit is that? i juz feel so sick! i wanna cry.. really suddenly, i wish my main aim in life is juz to get into sajc... then, forever i will be stucked with 8 subjects and not think about anything else.... siao rite?
i went to this other website... universities in australia that offers marine biology courses.... i seriously think that is very interesting and i will definitely work hard for it.. but how can? in australia leh? i dun even have the means to go there.. much less to study there... if only i'm rich... i'm so vexed rite now... i dun even noe why i'm studying.... i'd so rather work with the animals then do any of this... even if i do well in my chem and bio, chances are i won't get into the universities in aussie either.. it's so slim... what to do???? i'm envious of those who noe what they want in life... that's their purpose of living... i dunno my purpose of living in this world.... so jia lat.. what am i going to do??? it sux... it really does... i desparately need some expert's advice on wat to do... go thru a lvls(chem and bio) and migrate to aussie? (siao, i dun dare, neither do my folks).. a scholarship will be sweet.. but who's gonna offer it???
shld i juz concentrate on these few subjects, get the s papers, then find a way to aussie?? maybe i'll be the illegal immigrant.. so lame... but i guess, that's what i'm gonna do now for the time being... a step at a time... maybe my long-term goal is to study marine biology... for now.. make sure i study hard... that sound rite? i think so...
phew, i feel much better now that i have sort out my thoughts.. dun think so much first, juz do my best in wateva i feel is rite for me... i'm living for myself... sounds good, huh? i tot so... hehe
No comments:
Post a Comment