yikes!

As has finally begun. completed half of the papers... so far, it was alrite... but i feel v uncertain for gp, chem and mathh p2.
this time during the preparation for As, i have been highly emotionally distressed. i juz feel really and very worried and stressed each time i look at the notes the nite before... and i juz kept crying... my parents are pretty supportive and understanding... they tell me not to worry abt my results and juz take it easy with the papers. even if i dun do well for the paper, they wouldn't blame me... really relieved to hear it from them.

I have nv really felt this high level of distress during my preparation for the past major papers.. so my emotions now are kinda scaring my mum... i think she's worried abt me..

i'm not sure wat i want after As... everyone says after jc is go uni. but was if i dun want? then ppls would say i shld have went poly in the first place. well, i definitely didn't regret my decision abt not gg poly. jc was the choice i made. afterall, i wasn't sure wat course(which wld determine my career path) i wanted to take back then.
now.. i'm thinking, maybe i'm juz no good at studying. or, i'm sick of studying. i dun wanna study anymore... it's causing me so much stress it's disrupting my life... i'm considering picking up some sorta skill... something more hands-on and less cramming for exams.

of course, if i do perform well for As and my results are sufficient for the physiotherapy course, i may still go back to that.. but it's kinda doubtful.. cos i haven't done proper last min recaps and revisions for each of my past papers..

then i tot abt something else. how would i feel if my frens all obtained their degrees and diplomas and are holding a higher paid job then me? i will certainly feel left out.... But i also understand that not everyone are equally academically inclined..

many of my frens are planning to go uni. but many of them are also unsure of the courses they wanna take. it's like a 'must' to get either a degree or diploma in spore. i hate this. i want to do something fun and easy..but there's NO SUCH THING. argh. my parents say many ppls also didn't had degree and diploma, but they're still earning more money that the graduates. but i'm not that type of person. i dun have the brains nor talents to do that.

i wish i knew wat to do.. until then, i'm looking forward to end of As, prom, xmas and aussie trip.