cheryl left. how sad. i wasn't there to see her off.

anyways, i feel really really upset about today's kine/epa paper. i also dunno whether i'd describe it as upset or numb. nah, i'm definitely upset and disappointed about today's paper. i think i didn't think hard enough before i attempted each question, so when that happens, i write out ans that i think make sense. at the end of the paper, on the way home, i ponder over it and ask wat my frens think of that paper. i have a feeling they sorta knew wat to write, but perhaps didn't phrase it properly. but for me, i felt like i didn't know wat i was writing, and everything juz came out based on prev prac and some sorta common sense.

on the bright side, i didn't leave questions blank. ya i think. but some of my ans are really crap lor. argh....

exams bother me. they really do. i have a feeling i'm the only person who is bothered by the way i fare in the paper. it sux really bad cos i feel tt i shld have stepped out of my sec sch/jc mentality and be more mature when it comes to studying for exams. i haven't. i'm still tt crybaby who succumb under pressure. the annoyed girl who can't let go of some minor marks, the perfectionist who wants to regurgitate word for word in each essay que.

i need to change.
i need to see a shrink/psychologist to help me deal with my panic attacks.

optimistic joyce. i know myself well, despite all the negativities, a side of me is assuring me tt i dun have to take sub paper, at most get a D for epa/kine mod.

i'm not gg to say i'll study harder for next sem. it does't work. after so many years, i've come to realised tt last min cramping is bad but somewat effective. unless i study my subj the way i study for anatomy. i'll miss anatomy.. abit la. cos it's the only mod tt i can do well becos i can regurgitate the facts. word for work (ps. essays only la, mcq not included unofrtunately)

i'm supposed to be happy tt kine/epa paper is over. i hope studying for biom will be smooth sailing later. hai. but got calculation ques, so can't be tt smooth la.

cheer up joyce.

i'm thinking of the day tt i was absolutely sure i failed epa prac. and i got a C in the end. let's hope things turn out better tt wat i think:)

i obviously haven't stepped out of that 'circle'/mentality.
GIVE ME A BREAK.