NEURO NEURO OMG.
JIAYOU! the more i get exposed to, the more i learn, the more experience i gain.


ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ITS SATURDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY..
HHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

HAHAHAHA
kk. i work last 2 sats PLUS wakeboarded last 2 sun = have been waking up b4 7am for the past 2+wks!!! which is very early okay!!!!!
so i'm gonna chill out tonight and nua tmr morning. PLS LET THERE BE A THUNDERHEAVYSTORM!
haha. so evil. i juz wana lie in my comfy bed with my comfy bolster and comfy blanket!


woooosh.
got a new I NEED/WANT $$$ FOR THIS list
1) Scotland.
2) Spectacles (kinda alr planned to get this 3mths ago, but not sure if the money can be put to BETTER use)
3) Crocs pumps! (for work plus play?! idk)
4) COACH large wristlet.. hehehe
5) CRUMPLER 2million dollar baby. tt cost abt 78$. also not really sure if it's extremely necessary for the time being.

Yup, my no. 1 is still scotland. and i better start planning otherwise how to take leave later on?!?!!?!?!?

Issue no.1
why involve me??? i didn't want to be involved! certainly in no way i am good with such things! HAI... alrite, i'll give it my best. Might as well take this chance to speak out and make an impression. a good one i hope.

Issue no.2
how on earth can i forget to document?
HAI. well, on the bright side, it's not the worse thing to do. (RECALL SPINAL NURSING)

Issue no.3
Can i please stop avoiding people and not be depressed anymore? Sometimes what i do can't be that wrong. if i look back, perhaps i did it right after all.

Issue no.4
I will start reviewing all my patients in half an hr time and see one by one. don't care whateva crap. okay maybe not, whenever they feel fine to be seen, i'll see them. as long as it's reasonable.

AND I WILL DOCUMENT.

WORK ISSUES ASIDE
i am occassionally depressed with regards to back pain. both the patients' and mine. ok, tt's still counted as work.

ANYWAY
Driving has been pretty interesting. i'm taking manual under school. NOT CHEAP DEFINITELY. and i sure hope it'll be like one of my prac tests in nyp where i can usually pass! haha. my L knee aches as i press the clutch, my ankle hurts from pressing accelerator/brake, and i still stall as it's only my 2nd lesson. on another note, i really dun think i can absorb whateva my instructor is saying because everything tt comes within 6inches of my ears automatically gets blocked off! or rather there's a NO ENTRY sign on my L ear, (worse on the R of course). Despite all, i still really enjoy and look forward to my driving lessons becos it's a form of distraction from work and it makes me finish up my work asap. so good stuff after all.

time for a breather!!!!
officially >6mths since i last ate mac/kfc in SINGAPORE!!!! (those in nz not counted! :P)
so gonna have some ole meal tmr haha!! and yes i know, i've grown fat, the weighing scale in my bro's machine is well utilised by everyone except me even though i spend the longest time being the nearest to it! RAHH!! my tummy is bigger definitely. confirm plus chop! and yes, i'm still gonna eat that zinger burger/drumstick tmr cos it has been TOO LONG!

this wk has its high and low. both in pt load, nothing emotionally/mentally related, which is good of course. still being careless occassionally, but thank goodness for all the kind nurses/frens in my ward. seriously, they're sucha bunch of great ppls- so helpful and funny too, i hope every ward i go next time will have nurses like them!! (haha. probably not lah)

SERIOUSLY AGING :((((((((
any facial places that can recommend me to go?
facial products??? :((


ANYWAYS. this wk wasn't half as bad, as i thought it possibly might be.. oh wells
still learning as much as i can..

I WANA GO AUSTRALIA LIKE REAL SOON!!!!
gotta go buy some adelaide australia book/map man! :))))

i have to make sure that all my patients are safe BEFORE, DURING, AFTER the treatment
i have to make sure that all my treatments are effective
I have to make sure i walk fast, even if i have very few/'manageable' patients.

OK. don't worry, if physio's jobs were so dangerous, we wldn't have such low pay.

PRAY.
and have NO REGRETS.

happy one month to me and.... my ortho ward!!!!!! haha
hai. hope i can catch on fast enough and may i meet stats everyday next wk onwards!!! nothing less than a double digit!!

wakeboarded for the 3rd time after a long break. wasn't as tiring, wasn't as difficult, water wasn't as salty, abs no longer felt like it have to work v hard. but still got more to learn. hopefully next time round will be much better :))

scotland is sucha a far away dream.. with driving & macbook pro in mind... scotland is... SUCH A FAR AWAY DREAM. on the other hand, august long break is coming up, gotta start planning if i shld go anyway or not. hmm...

scotland aside.. i haven't really been able to do much research on UniSA/adelaide yet.

i still have SO MUCH TO LEARN!!!
making stupid mistakes still!!! ARGH! SO ANNOYING!!!
omgosh. one day someone will realise how terrible i am. oh man.....
i gotta learn fast, learn quick! make the correct judgement! prevent anyone from knowing how terrible i am!!! i need to save my reputation! FAST!

i'm sucha terrible person.
hai.
i wonder how many more mistakes i can make before committing the worst one ever.

please let me learn from all these mistakes and to never repeat them ever.

omgosh omgosh omgosh!!!!! i'm so friggin excited that i made it to UNISA!!!
AUSTRALIA HERE I COME... AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i feel more motivation to work harder at work!!!
[[[ side thought. my teamleader juz trf, so now i got a new teamleader whom i hasn't spoken to before. and i stil feel clueless and helpless at times, and well, not answering questions, nor discussing them properly as a PHYSIO... i hope i learn from these past mistakes and make better contributions in the very very near future, aka saturday onwards!]]]

ANYWAYS, back to my lovely australia!!!!!!!!!!! this is all abt australia post man!
so YES, i did get in with my somewhat pretty ridiculous gpa. and i found out 2 of my seniors will be gg(they seem nice) and another of my notsoclose classmate...
but the thing is, I'M GG TO AUSTRALIA!!! the land where cheryl and jie are! the land where i spent my 21st birthday at!!!

oh gosh, i can't wait to plan all those trips AROUND australia!!!
omgosh, if i wana go so many places in aussie, how to go scotland!?!!?!?!?!!?!?

OMGOD like 1 mth ago, i was soooo decided on gg there, (and getting a westie, but well that was really more fat chance). but yes! i wanted to, and i dunno now.. the thing is with some of my pals there, it wld make gg to this cool awesome (and rather random) nation much more 'safe' and ya. at least i know i have friends there who can bring me out and it won't be entired a solo backpacking trip(kinda like my 21st bday in sydney)

but with the calculation tt i'm doing now, i dunno if i have enuf money! the KEY KEY things that i need a lot of money for are MACBOOK PRO and SCOTLAND! see! even my branded bags are pushed out of way becos of this! with my meagre pay, and many future thoughts on the trips tt i'll be gg IN Australia (dreamworld movieworld seaworld in GOLD COAST), i dunno how i can save up enough to fulfil all these travelling needs(wants) of mine!!!!!!!
and who knows, maybe a short NZ trip somewhere in between? on MAGIC? haha

talking abt australia is like so never ending!
first of all, it's UNISA i'm gg. so it'll be in south australia. issit the same as adelaide? that i'm not entirely sure..
there's accommodation.. well, tt shld be for the later part. i'm thinking of an apartment shared with the others tt i'm gg with.. but preferably a room on MY OWN!! i need my space!
then there's food. start learning!!! i need to learn chinese food for god's sake!
and travelling! please let me pass my driving b4 i go off! maybe we cld do a road trip somewhere?!?!?!?!
can i have a dog there? then bring it back when i come back?! omgosh.................
ooh shopping! hahaha hmm... adelaide ah. dunno can shop what leh
then the beaches!!!

thenthen! during the holidays, can go gold coast!!!!!!!!!
this post is so filled with random stuff!! hope they all come true!! one way or another!

i'm secretly still very scared.
but i shall be brave. or at least pretend to be. for now.
things will get better.

wakeboardin was interesting. if only the water wasn't so salty and my abs didn't feel so tired so easily.

i miss NZ. i really do.

yes at times i didn't enjoy certain parts during the trip becos it's not easy travelling with so many people and so such tight schedule.

but i still miss nz.

i miss the long white clouds tt covers the entire sky, and that is so endless it seems to be touching the ground.
i miss the fun adventures that we participated - white water rafting at kaituna river, horse-riding, cycling on the road THAT HAS A CYCLING lane, gg to the beach, swoop, bungy at taupo...
i miss the delicious food we have esp when the company is so good
i miss the weather (very odd. but yea. i guess towards the end of the trip, the weather seems alittle more bearable)
i miss the funny moments we share, the laughter and jokes...
i miss cookie time. and afghans. subway's cookie tasted funny juz now.

i can't wait for my next trip. hopefully i can go to scotland.
and in a few years time. to travel around the States.

A trying phase

Wk 1 has passed. But technically, i've only been up the wards since thursday
As a working adult, i do not wish to post all my nonsensical rantings here, for.. i'm afraid it may reflect badly on me.

It is a very trying phase to start working. I'm not sure if it's just me, or that it's only been 2nd day. Here i was, having spent the last 3hrs since i reached home from working, researching continuously.

I do not want to disappoint the people around me, especially the patients. They deserve nothing but the best. And because they do, i have to do my part to make sure i don't screw up.

Today was a teeny weeny bit better than yesterday. Hopefully Monday will be even better..
Being at the bottom isn't necessary a bad thing. It means things can only get better :)

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

so i've got my hands on the iphone!!! (but tt's AFTER a friend told me tt a NEWER iphone is cmg out in stores a few mths later -.-) oh wells.
it's gonna be MAY soon. and i was reviewing my new yr resolutions which i set in jan - seems like things are gg pretty right on track.
1) graduated. though extremely dissatisfied with gpa
2) went to nz. what an amazing country it was. read blog!
3) got a job. not locum. but gd to know i'm clearing my 3yrs as of 3may. haha.
4) has signed up for driving. FINALLY.
5) this is a bad one - I HAVE NOT LOST THE INTENDED WEIGHT I WANTED TO LOSE! ARGH! all that jogging is totally not effective lor!! i wish i had my own personal trainer!
6) gg to states in dec? NO. I kinda postpone it. Probably i will spend SEVERAL MONTHS there at the end of my next 3yrs. this way, there's something i can look forward to at the end of my employment.. haha. haven't even start work alr looking forward to end of employment.. what on earth rite?! oh wells *rolling my eyes*

Speaking of which. I AM GONNA START WORK SOON. and in my contract, i muz not TALK *RUBBISH* How do i feel? NERVOUS. SCARED. and maybe a little bit of EXCITEMENT! yea! esp after knowing tt i POSSIBLY don't have to start in OPD.. yet. so cool! gonna have to do some serious revision man!

Hey guys! I'm back from NZ! so sorry i had NO FRIGGIN UPDATES cos we had to pay 6NZD for one hr of internet use in our hostels. so... anyways, i'll be posting up my travel journal of that 17 days plus pre and post stuff in this other blog specially dedicated to the NZ trip! Enjoy! Photos will might be up abit later on!

http://iwenttonewzealandinapril2010.blogspot.com/

Aries

i was replying a sms juz now when i realised, its either my personality for having such a huge reaction to the type of qn my dear fren was asking. or juz how 'terrible' that qn is to be even asked.
so i thought i'd do a in-depth research abt myself as an aeries (I AM BORED after all), and maybe elaborate too.

Aries will be a loyal friend as long as the relationship keeps evolving and they feel that it is of benefit, but if they become bored or the relationship becomes stale, they will assuredly get out
-- true in a certain extent. but i think this applies to many ppl.. i have several friends who i tell different stuff abt and i like this.. so that i dun totally overload one person with all my emotions..

Strengths: Adventurous, Energetic, courageous, confident
i think the strengths are pretty true! haha. juz becos i feel no qualms whatsoever doing skydiving, bungy and in the future, swimming with sharks! not so true abt confidence though..i think i have self-image issues.

Weakness: self centered, short tempered, impulsive, impatient
weakness.. also pretty true. unfortunately i AM self-centered. in many ways i think my friends surely have felt it one way or another. i try to be generous and considerate but let's juz say, they're not in my genes. short tempered yea.. impulsive.. i dun really have eg of that.. impatient YES! I HATE WAITING, I HATE PPL WHO DO NOT COME ON TIME,(so tt pretty much means i hate all my friends. HAHA. pls dun be offended. juz try not to be late the next time u see me, and NO. tell me early tt u're gonna be late DOES NOT HELP. ok. anyways , i've learnt my lesson and i am no longer punctual. but i still turn up as the earliest latecomer. HATE IT) i think this impatient and self-centered traits kinda feed on each other. PAI SEH HOR.

Aries are nv shy of apologizing.
YES. extremely true. as with my Hk fren incidence. i take time. but i absolutely hate it when somebody gets the wrong impression of me. i can get angry easily. so yea. i guess i do the wrong things(becos i AM self centered :S)

Aries can speak about anything & everything under the sun.
-- NO! unless u are my close friend. or some random dude i meet online. haha

Possessing a strong sense of urgency!!!
AH YES! tt's the total opposite of impatience right?! and that is A GOOD TRAIT! i'm not sure if i got it when i was in military band and heard of the term. i think if i have a timeline, i will follow to it strictly and expect the rest to do so too. what's the point of having a timeline if u ain't gonna follow it!? i'm not sure if this is the same as being extremely time-oriented. i like to have timelines on the day of exams so tt i can tell myself what time to wake up, study, shower, lunch and when i shld leave home! yes i do that!!

remember, what Aries wants, Aries usually gets...
? really? only when i have money i think. or since last yr when i turned 21. wldn't say its true all the time!

Aries can sometimes be an egotist.Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, the first in any modern (or old) astrology sun-sign list. This strangely enough, often transfers to the person born under aries into a "me first"
-- tt probably explains my self-centeredness. not my fault ok!

Arians tend to be very organized and are therefore able to organize others with ease.
-- very true. yet i think that being too organized and wanting to get things done MY WAY sometimes backfires :(

The Leader: Being the first sign of the zodiac seems to make Arians natural leaders. They are seen as ambitious, exciting, and vibrant individuals who gravitate towards the centre of any action because of these traits. Arians make great leaders because they normally have genuine concern for those they lead. They tend to be frank and candid, which are traits many people look for in a leader.
--- true. i often myself NOT being able to juz sit back and i dun like to wait for things to happen (IMPATIENT!), so i guess tt's why i like to take things to my own hands and make things happen. once again, it does backfire, so i shld probably watch myself more.

Arians are very good at starting things, but often may leave tasks unfinished.
true to a certain extent! i guess tt's what leaders do rite? start a idea, and let the others fnish it. HAHA. juz kidding y'all!

Ares are Independent.
TRUE TO THE MAX. i'm the kind who do things for MYSELF (recall self-centered) and i dun like waiting for other (recall impatient). i go movies alone when i feel like it, i dun see a problem shopping alone.

A romantic relationship with a sweet, quiet guy won’t work for her. It’s important to choose someone who will hold his own and will not intimidate easily, otherwise life will become way too boring for Aries. On the other hand, they dislike restrictions of any kind and a possessive relationship will end up going nowhere. That does not mean she won’t be a little possessive herself. She sees nothing wrong in that.
--- i agree :)

The typical Aries woman has the physical stamina of a long distance runner. Generally healthy, these robust subjects have been known to stave off the flu through sheer willpower. Arians are simply too busy to be sick.
-- if only! then i won't be failing my 2.4 19 out of 20 times! but fyi, i still go for my regular jogs! and i am seldom sick, though i blow my nose quite often. its the aircon.

Aries motto is "Ready, fire, aim!" It may be backwards for others, but you'd rather figure out what to do while you are doing it. Impulsive actions, however, can bring you your share of trouble. While others are gathering information to make informed decisions, you are already on your way. As such, you could suffer from false starts. In fact, you Aries are so good at starting things that you can be off onto your next project before completing the previous one. As you Aries mature, you learn to slow down your reaction time in order to think about the consequences of your actions
--- SO TRUE. the last sentence --- it is only becos not everyone ard me ar aries. so i often gotta slow down and wait.. hate waiting!

i am a chronic worrier

over the past years, i've worried abt these

schools
spelling
tests CA, SA in primary & secondary sch
exams
assignments
public speaking

very recently
results
chances of gg for degree conversion
conflict with my org
gg nz - accommodation & activities

stuff in general
getting a bf. or not being able to get one

future
working.
treatment strategies. or the lack of it
documentation
inservice
contribution to the team
getting sued

this past wk was probably the worst. ever. day by day, getting worried for stuff, one over-taking another. no rest in between. and not to mention my poor sleep pattern is hugely affecting me ---- ONLY BECOS i worry i can't get out of it!

i know 99% of my worries are for nothing. but i can't help it. i really can't.
websites says tt worrying is gd becos it helps prevent problems by first anticipating it. so yea. but of course, at my rate of worrying, i'm sure the disadvantages outweigh the benefit.

hai. i worry abt not worrying too.

my org is not happy with me. or juz one or two of them.
pls let everything resolve peacefully.

my worst results ever.
if i had gotten these results last sem, it might not feel as bad. but because its the last sem, it kinda became the DECIDING sem
really sux that my results dropped this far. all because of clinicals. that 5 wks at hk (and i know that 5 wks at sgh also did affected this)

what's a girl gotta do to get into a uni?
maybe i gotta look into newcastle too. maybe i'll go there. maybe they'll take me in.
*see lah! who ask u dun want to go uni after jc. now go thru another phase of fretting over impt stuff like this!*

argh i'm so tired.
i just want to cry.
what's the f**king point of getting a scholarship if i ain't gonna live up to the standard?!?! i should totally screw myself and put a gunshot through my head. i don't deserve this.

k. shit. die.

Results out tmr.. D DAY for one very last time in NYP.
gosh. i'm still not as nervous yet. maybe i will be tmr. and then for the additional few mths where i await my application for the overseas uni.
will i be accepted?
can't imagine having to pay 1k back to nuh if i dun. then where do i work at? probably NUH still since sgh reached quota and ttsh too.

hmm.

my daily routine is as follows:

1)wake up at 9
2)breakfast
3)Back to bed by 12 or 3pm (depending on what shows are available)
4)wake up ard 5-6plus
5)goes for a 45min jog
6)watches tv til 2am(cos i enjoy watching the rerun of ER)

tt's pretty much how sad my life is now.
wait..no it's not sad.. it's juz rather lifeless.
i can't say its boring cos i'm supposed to be happy to be like this BECOS tt was how i yearn to be during the crazy period of sch.
i'm not working out as hard as i wish i was (note, jogging is not performed DAILY unfortunately)
i'm running out of money soon.
and i wld love to eat xiaolongbao. or dimsum. right now. or soon.

i miss pt2 ppls. all the lame stuff abt them. nobody is online. what's wrong with them?!