juz another one of those days where u wish u weren't born

today was really bad.
had 2 patients in the morning.
realised my documentation is really poor.
and she even mentioned smthg like 'how arh, gg to have to fail u'
i was like. right. it's all my fault anyways. shld have done a better job back then.

then later the foundation was exposed. right. my fault again.

back from lunch. apparently we blocked the way for the 2Ps who probably joined the fb grp of: i secretly wish i cld punch the slow walking ppls in front of me.
guess it's my fault again. or not. maybe not. nah. wateva.

dealed with a kid in the afternoon. held him back and hence he was late for the OT's appointment. so late tt even after we left, the OTs and his family had to stay back for the treatment. truly my fault. tho they did fail to mention they had another appt.

then. somebody JUST HAD TO INFORM ME TT one of the staff, or 2, had made the comment tt i looked pregnant. like what the fuck. do u know how extremely hurting it is to hear a comment like that? i didn't make it that obvious tho i did kinda complained and all. but i am truly affected by it. truth is, i have grown up all my life being noted (and extremely self conscioused abt) tt i had a long neck(like a giraffe), a long face and super high forehead, disproportionate body, short legs, protruding ass and walking like a duck(mum). and then today for the fucking first time in my life, somebody juz HAD TO INFORM ME TT I LOOK PREGNANT too. like, thanks for self-esteem boost. thanks so fucking much. and whose fault issit? the one who made the comment? the one who told me someone had made the comment? my parents for giving me these genes? the way i was brought up with no correction of my posture? or was it my fault again?
my fucking fault for being born the way i am.

i'm speechless man. my self-esteem has juz hit another rock bottom low. lower than it ever has been.

today, it was one of those days which i wished i wasn't born the way i am.or maybe. i shouldn't be born at all.

dun fucking tell me how i shld be thankful tt all my limbs are still intact, and i shld be grateful for it. tell that to those *&^$%@#*& out there who even made the comment out loud. i can't help if they THINK tt way. but seriously. to say it out? thanks for ruining the rest of my placements.

i can't exactly ignore these comments. it's already said. i've already heard it. nothing's gonna change. i can pretend and say i'm not thinking abt it. but really, if someone said smthg so hurting like this, do u really think u can juz get over with it?

do u know how hurting it is for a plus-size lady to be offered a seat becos the person who offered it thought she was pregnant? tt's how i feel.

now we all know why joyce have had such low self-esteem for the past 20years

20, single and pregnant.
any takers?