everybody. mr.p is attached.
i dunno if i still wana take a pic with him on the last day. haha

but erm. yea. he's exactly the kinda average american dude who likes to have his fair share of fun and being crazy. the kinda guy tt i secretly fancy gg out with. i found his facebook profile. and dunno why ah, the moment i saw tt it wrote 'listed in a relationship', he didn't seem as good looking in his hundres of photos anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OK, laugh at me ppls!
ok la, he's still quite good looking. maybe not as much as in his pictures.

so, no need for whateva hassles in the future. no more extra toilet breaks. no more thinking and planning and taking a risk blah blah talk. haha. he's a happy chap. i dunno if he's the kind of guy tt i'll go out with. most probably not(based on pictures)

okies dokies. now. what will make me look forward to gg to sgh? no more mr.p to go crazy over. i mean, ok, i can still smile and be nice. but yea. it's kinda pointless in a way.

fyi. i'm not like totally crushed and sobbing my heart out. juz kinda stoned abt it. haha. like. sian. ok. moving on. deep inside, i kinda knew tt nothing gd was cmg out of it even tho another part of me was praying so hard!
soooo... after all. it is juz a SUPERFICIAL CRUSH.

really. i'm like. i dun even know whether to be happy or sad right now.

before wk3 even begun- i'm out of love.

2wks of clinicals done.
this week has been.. productive i supposed. i still feel like my S/E is not there yet.. with all the repeating of questions, and double/triple checking of ans. O/E-wise, eh. still NOT THERE YET. cos sometimes, my sense of feel and touch is not very zai. and observation for gait is still juz as bad. the worse thing is, i probably can't link my observation of gait to my O/E :/
anyways, i didn't cry at all this wk. things have somehow became a little 'straightforward' and certain stuff are like - 'standard protocol'. haha. my ce is gonna kill me if she sees this. but i do know wat i'm doing la.
i've even discharge a pt! on her 2nd visit! :D the pain may still be there.but the impt thing is to get them to strengthen the remaining ms and continue to be active :)

clinicals aside. my dear mr.p
sigh. first wk was love struck. 2nd wk was love stuck. haha. wateva tt means.
3rd wk will be a better wk!! BE BRAVE JOYCE! TAKE A RISK!

call me crazy. haha.

it's abt time man.

it's quite tiring to cry after every single patient u noe that. and thank god i manage to control it in front of my CE. wldn't wana let her know tt i'm so weak.
sigh. i wish there were more 'perfect' patients. but then again. even if the right ones came along, i wldn't have know what to do.

learn tt i have to deal with pain. not mine. but the patient's pain. some ppls are juz overreacting way more la

tmr is wkly eval day. think i'm gonna fail it. at least for this wk.
unless, my 2 patients are 'simple cases' tt i can easily diagnose or smthg

ANYWAY. the fantastic news is.
mr.p smiled at moi today :))) was walking back from the toilet and hopin tt the door of the podiatry room will open. and then juz as i walk past this other room, he suddenly appeared! he turned ard and gave me a smile. well. it was like a simultaneous thing when we smiled at each other. SO HAPPY PLS! ya. tt was before i saw my pt la. i was in such a bad state after my case tt i'd rather not see him.

hope i can deal with my 2 patients without breaking down again. i got to learn faster. think faster! and probe further! and i shall not be defeated or 'slaps my forehead in exaperation IN FRONT OF THE PATIENT'

i can do this. i can. i know i can.

i will.

well, i had my first patient today. old lady with frozen shld
hmmm.. did my subj.. but realised i cldn't catch a lot of stuff.. esp those tt my CE asked.. like i totally zoned out and focused on what i have to ask later. sux man.
then after that, supposed to plan wat obj to do.. ok.. but still abit blur and stuff
and treatment.. was ok..
had to get a lot of prompting from the CE cos i was clueless when it came to clinical reasoning. i JUST KNOW SHE HAS TO DO THIS AND THIS. the EXACT reason. not too sure :/

well. i was the only one who had a pt today, the other 2 will be having theirs tmr.. and i dunno if i will want to have one tmr.. haha. can be a really good learning experience la. but i feel incompetent. for the time being :(

seeing mr.p at least twice a day is good:) wish i cld see more of him!
gosh i wonder why they work such long hours! AM usually practice as privates-work less, earn more.
oh wells. who cares. i get to see more of him!

okok. now's the time to recap and do up my hw and stuff. tmr will be a better day!

ha. damn happy. ok. maybe not as super high as i was 2 hrs ago.. but still quite happy la :)

went down to sgh to see our CE juz now, and guess who i saw?!?!?! MR PODIATRY!!! OH MY TIAN! from FAR. abit FAR, i saw these 2 tall built guys, and immediately, i knew it was THEM. the podiatrists! or at least i still think they are since they use 'that room'. hahaha. anyway, we walked PAST THEM :))) and yup, stupid me nv had any eye contact with mr.blondie cos i was too happy and struggling to control my gleefulness(i dun think there's such a word.but.) yup. happy me :)

CE turns out to be pretty nice. so, i hope everything will be fine :)))

mr.podiatry, here i come! WOOHOO!

toughen up joyce!

i was taken aback when he told me smthg in the email. i guess he was right. i sorta came to the realisation, that i have no life. i only have school. my so-called life revolves ard sch&stress. and it sux.

anyway, on the way to dinner in the car, i sorta teared up.. but managed to fight back all the tears and prevented a breakdown in front of my unaware parents.
there's no exams cmg up. but clinicals, UL Ax & Rx, giving instructions, and all these are juz bothering me a lot. not to mention-my future.

i really hope i can pull through all these.. i've came such a long way. and i dun wana give it all up. i juz really hope i know what i'm doing. i hope i'm doing the right thing.

everything is gg to juz get tougher. will it get any easier? seeing the yr3s, they seem to know it all. will i get to that stage?

now's the time to be strong... crying is only of a temporary relief. after all the crying, it's back to reality.

i wish there was more to life than sch. i wish i cld be doing more things, having more fun. i wish i have other commitments other than sch. i wish i was studying in australia from yr1. i think i'd have a better chance succeeding with the pace gg slower. i wish i had a life tt actually feels like one.

i wish. life was easier. on me.

placements out. i am at sgh. AGAIN. at outpatient clinic. AGAIN.

my heart sunk when i saw my name there. along with the other 2 names.
unfortunately,i felt like half MY battle was lost already juz becos of who they were vs who i am. (get a grip joyce!)
the good thing however. is that it's near my hse. and i won't feel lost on the first few days in the clinic, or ard the hospital. haha. food court and delifrance!

but still.. sigh.

quoted from jac
"i believe that in the end, everything will turn out fine"

i juz gotta have a little faith in who i am, and what i can achieve.

not to mention. the possibility of meeting yet another cute and hot angmoh PODIATRIST! AHAHAHAHAHA

maybe it's a relieve? somewhat a relieve.
or maybe i'll regret in the years to come.

for now, it's good. i think.
thanks des, for everything :)


and now, i look forward to the day of the arrival.

i was a student model for MS today, question on neck :S
so there were 12 PTs who came in, every 20min, answered some questions, and then did some assessments on my neck..
the most outstanding. besides the fact tt he's a caucasian, is the tt he's the only one who adjusted the plinth and placed a pillow under my feet! OMG! hahahaha.. i didn't expect the pillow thing.. and ya, he was also the only one who said back in his country, they will get the pt to take off the shirt. haha. of course aud said it wasn't necessary..
something 'lame' took place at the end of everything at 5pm. and... i managed to talk to that caucasian on our way to the station. HE IS
german. married. 16mth old daughter. smokes. wife is a private PT. stays at bishan condo. was at F1, been here got 6wks.
ahahahahaha..

kk.. overall was a good experience.. i wldn't mind gg again, esp if there were more hot caucasians. AHAHAHAHA. crazy me.

now tt i know wat those PTs need to know, perhaps its a better decision to take those registration exams right after i grad in order to work at aussie. HAHA. tt's juz a thought anyway.

i dread monday.

sunway lagoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is too long. let me keep it short

biggest disappointment: parks were closed on tuesday. god. had to settle for genting
best thing: the company-qing tricia peigin su. thank u all so much for everything. esp when i was unwell during the trip to and from and at genting. so so so sorry tt we didn't get to take flying coaster. i think it's partly my fault :(

yup :) other than that. i'm proud to say tt i've gone to malaysia without the folks, and came back the exact way i left.

i wonder if there's any way to cure motion sickness. hmm...

i will be away for 3 days 2 nights...
to... SUNWAY LAGOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOORAY! like finally!!! i'm getting out of singapore! without my folks!
YIIIPPPEEEEE...

of course i wished it was to gold coast instead.. but.. oh wells...

everyone pls pray tt i go there in one piece and come back the same!
:D
happy mood

had sleepover at kiyoko's hse! with jac & caryn(who was late as usual. haha)
played mahjong. and surprise surprise! i was the biggest winner! PING HU. haha. i'll rmb that! and thanks jac for all the feedings!!!
watched the chelsea vs some romanian club match. super boring.... and yea, i was dozing off at half time already... in the end it was nil draw. sian. they better score when they go back to the bridge..

my mind is thinking abt median nerve. yes. MEDIAN NERVE. sounds abit distant and off as i typed it out.. but yea.. i wish i can start doing some sort of revision but i dun think it's possible.......

hope the sunway lagoon trip works out!

i have a dream
a song to sing
to help me cope
with anything

i'm having trouble with leaving comments on other lj blogshop. and it frustrates me alot becos i really like the stuff tt i'm seeing, and i really wana buy them but the buyer will nv noe. and they dun seem to be replying to my email either. that's worse.
now, i can only trouble my fren to help me buy. i hope this sorts out soon. otherwise, i gotta start on my quit-onlineshoppingaddiction program. which is probably good for me and my wallet.

what defines the right guy?
looks? money? personality? character? persistency-irritability? LOL
can the lack of one trait be covered up by the rest?
how confusing, isn't it?

anyway. f1 done. super fast. super fun.ok not tt fun la. except the parts where we were soo clueless wat to do during our super long break!!!! HAHAHAHA. alonso won. wat a turn of events... who wld have thought?

hmmm.... wonder if my shirt will ever come thru.. will the buyers reply my emails for those dresses? oh maybe i shld take it as a sign tt i should stop all this money wasting activity.

hope to get some decent cash from selling my new Alevel books later at bras brasah!!

F1- first day. BORING. super disorganized. i probably only work 30min out of the 10am to 6pm shift. seriously.
cos there were SO MANY of us, we rotated among each other to shop jalan and to work.
before my fren n i were on our way to tap out, these 2 italian MEN approached us.. started talking. then one guy said he actually wanted to BRING US IN TO WATCH THE RACE. LOL. hello! read our tees- ticketing! we dun need tix to go in!!! hahaha.. those dirty men.. he said it quite clearly tt he was looking for singapore girls to go watch the race tog.. aiyo.. they have approached the wrong ppls! haha. (but i'm flattered.) in that ugly shirt and pants i was wearing, they still wanted to ask moi? but they, or rather the man i was chatting was very nice. haha. if he was younger and hotter, i'd have said yes immediately!!! LOL. interesting.
ohohoh! muz mention this. angmohs GALORE. yiipppeee.. hahahaha *grinning from ear to ear*

and for those who are wondering why i was sooo selfish not to share my nachos on the day of mama mia - i had a bad encounter once. 4 of us went to watch a movie, we shared the nachos and popcorn. so initially i was holding on to the nachos, then i offered to the other 2 at the othe end. then AFTER A WHILE. i juz asked them to pass, and OMG! only crumbs left!! CAN U IMAGINE MY HORROR! my favourite nachos!!!! i was soooooo pissed, lucky i didn't pay much for it, cos there was a discounted price. but still, u can imagine how mad and upset i was not to be able to eat much of my FAVOURIT NACHOS & CHEESE (FROM GV PLAZA SOMEMORE!) so there's the story. i'll never forget that and i will NEVER LET THE NACHOS LEAVE MY SIGHT! esp not when there's NINE OTHER PPLS! fyi, i offered to ap(who declined) and i did let yh have some as requested. ok! so next time ah! buy ur own nachos!!!! I AM NOT SHARING MY NACHOS!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

MAMMA MIA!!!
with 9 other bandmates!!! OMGOSH!! how fantastic tt everyone cld make it.. and i muz say.. everyone loved the movie rite?!!!! it is really way way way nicer than i thought it wld be. anyone from band shld catch it. anyone who enjoyed HSM and hairspray shld catch it. anyone who loves abba shld catch it. anyone who loves to sing shld catch. anyone who's anyone at all shld catch it!!!!

and.. oh god. the GV nachos!!! fantastic! u see, the key abt eating nachos during the movies is to actually eat it BEFORE the movie start. or immediately when u sit in the cinema. cos the cheese is the nicest when it's the warmest!!! and so. that's why i'm abt to have a terrible sorethroat. damn.

online browsing forever. everyday, everytime i go online. sadly nothing appeals to me...

F1 cmg up. hope my menses doesn't affect me, better still, wait until after sun6pm then start k.

and i'm so happy someone finally bought that top which i didn't like!!! but i discovered a yellow stain after confirmation. totally not my fault, i had no idea where the stain came from. too bad i guess. sorry buyer. really didn't see it until last nite. and after all, she's buying it at less than 6 of the original price. can't expect to be that perfect rite. haha. i'm so evil.

went alps cafe with kiki & jac. pretty cool place i muz say. love the ambience there. wasn't too sure why there were man u fans present too..
the clubs songs were pretty nice.. i've always wanted to learn them.. but some were kinda.. vulgar. though others were super funny..
the other chelsea fans were a pretty cool bunch.. except for a few.. nvm. wld love to go back there once more!
did i mention there were a couple of cute guys? haha

i need some space. i dun need someone to cling on so much. give me a break can?

and i dun feel like giving tuition anymore. i'm surprised by my own attitude. but yea. after a couple of no pickups and no return of phone call. i can't imagine how in future i wld have to postpone any of the tuition sessions. and thinking up til the time when i have to go for placements.. wldn't be too good to bring all the germs to the kid's hse rite?

had a nice dinner with soo many ppls last nite :)
bought my 21 jeans. 2nd pair of the week :) haha. i realise the colours are pretty similar but one is closer to being black.
i'm so pissed tt i didn't open the door to see if the postman was there juz now. i only saw thru the hole. dammit. now i have to wait 2 more days to go collect at cresent. maybe i shall swim too! yay :D !
erm. need to deposit my moolah soon. otherwise sure anyhow spend.
f1 training aka more like briefing. hope the 3 days will have nice soothing weathers!!! today's one sux like hell

soo many plans..
sun. meet kiki for chelsea match
mon. mama mia with ntmb bunch
tue. shopping. again! omg!
wed.???
thu. mahjong with nyp ppls?
fri-sun. f1

and there. one week gone.
oh god. i so scared. hols are ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

finally a new blog skin.
and fyi. whoever in their crazy mind who's interested in reading the archive- the link is actually over the tiny square box. -.- who wld've thought so?
not exactly enjoying the current j.p's salem falls. maybe all her books revolve ard too many characters. can't seem to keep track of 'em all..
did i mention i fell on both knees while doing my extremely slow jog ytd? ya. and this time, there were both slight abrasions and major blue blacks. so bad tt if i lie on my tummy. it actually hurts the knee tt's in contact with the bed. say 'ouch'!
soo many ppls are putting up posts on sgflea. i think it's hard to sell my pumps. less than 24hrs, and mine is under the 'earlier posts'. like who'll bother to see rite? i actually wldn't mind trading mine with this other shoe seller. but her feet is bigger than mine. sigh.
i bought a pair of jeans under the bargain section at f21 for 24bucks! OMG. means i have enuf moolah to go buy the black pair at wisma. kinda pissed when i cldnt find it in the vivo branch. and their labels for all pants are dn long pants. like duh.

:D results better than expected. it's really a surprise to me. except for the lousy CP and Neurosci grades[which i totally expected. thank god it wasn't worse than wat i thought]. erm. i dunno how to say this.. but i suppose i really am better than what i think of myself. of course, it also comes back to the point tt - there's a possibility that there has been moderation.. so i'm not that gd either :S

anyway, it's worth a celebration :) i totally deserved that 50$ for my F21 jeans please mummy!!!

results out in 6 hrs time.. wasn't really thinking abt it until i met up with the girls at timbre.. it was quite nice.. place was pretty quiet, prob cos it was a mon nite. thanks to rest for the mini treat :)
went out with sw earlier to shop and dine. oh god. i saw and tried on the perfect pair of black denim jeans tt i so badly wanted! but it's abit low. like squat down can see butt liao. HAHA. but i think i'll do my precautions and i shall get it! right after i get my pay!!! saw my acct balance juz now. OMG! ALL TIME LOW MAN! dammit!!!! wat's wrong with me?!?!?!?! seriously need to sell my stuff away. ASAP
anyway, i kinda have other issues to 'deal' with... so it's kinda occupying my mind more than the results. but i REALLY HOPE I DUN HAVE TO TAKE SUB FOR NEUROSCI! PLEASE!!!

hmm.. anyway, plans for the REST OF THE HOLIDAYS:
1. go exercise! aiyo. i feel so paiseh to be a PT who can't pass the 2.4
2. read all jodi picoult's novels! brilliant!
3. sell some stuff and get moolah
4. revise? LOL. seriously. the thought of CE2B not very erm. positive. it's almost like a make or break period.
5. go for sunway lagoon trip?! yes please!

ya. dun make so much to-do lists lah. usually also can't finish.