things are not gg the way i want them to go. last nite i was pissed when wl said she had to work til mid jan. i was pissed cos she did agree to stop work by end of dec so we cld start planning and booking the aus trip package. MY initial plan was to go aus asap, so i cld come back and look for a proper admin job tt can last for 3-5mths... then i was so confused and angry abt it for like a few hrs. i tot, maybe i shld juz NOT go. so, i was thinking, fine, i'll juz go for another job.. which is for one mth. THEN, i tot, if i work for 1 mth, by then the others wld have to find jobs which dunno last for how long. so we'll end up waiting for one another to finish each others' job. ridiculous.
THEN, yh msg me, saying she had bad news. i was extremely RELIVED when she said she might not be able to go aus cos of lack of money. i dunno why i was relieved. i juz was.
it's weird how we excited we got when we were toking abt the aus trip and other stuff while we were still in sch... we had big plans. but now tt we dun see each other, the plans juz didn't go as planned. i dunno... i guess it was easier to talk abt it when we actually see each other.. it's so difficult now, cos everyone seems to be living their own lives.. jobs for one, is something tt we can't do together. so tt's why it's hard to plan stuff..
yesterday i was toking to a fren... realise tt i may be losing some of my closest fren.maybe i'm thinking too much... i dunno.. first i lost contact wif bao and jinli they all.. then now tt i'm in jc, maybe i'm not as close to wl and sy anymore... i dun want that to happen... a fren said this is they way it is.. but i disagree.. i think it's something to do wif me. it's like i juz can't keep my friends... argh... i noe it's not possible to be best frens wif everyone.. but i do sincerely hope tt i cld be there for others and vice versa.
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