oh dear
woke up with a terrible L neck pain. looked almost like a wry neck. minor movt of the neck to the L side brought on pain instantly.
it was so painful tt
a)when i walked to my gp, i had walk very slowly
b)i had to keep my neck extremely still to make sure there ain't any sudden movements
c)when there were sudden movt, i had to stop in my track and juz hold my neck
d)my chin was rotated to the left to ease off the pain - hence i looked funny when i walk back
e)teared in the clinic cos it was so painful and tiring to hold the neck up
f)eating breakfast -beehoon,was extremely troublesome
h)lying down on bed was OMG EXTREMELY TOUGH - like cos alot of eccentric contractions of the neck was required- it was SO PAINFUL
i)took a gazillion of pills

thankfully, after my first nap (12 to 3.15), it got slightly better
after my 2nd nap (4 to 6), it get better tt i can rotate and side flex and rotate more towards my left. and waking up was easier too
seriously hopes it gets better cos i wana go for my xmas party tmr!!!!

and i received this!


yippee! right after i top up for the postage! :))))))

BATAM TRIP :)

what an experience i must say! had several of my firsts over the 2D1N trip!

day1:
departure was kinda rush
ferry ride was tolerable
arrival at hotel - drinks were :S
bowled for 2 games cos our room wasn't available yet.. bowling was- alrite.. one strike! haha.
got our room - spacious. clean. decent. good view of the pool too.
went to nagoya hill mall - had a&w (so-so lor. nothing fantastic.) bought several stuff- fake gucci sunglasses(even comes with the casing!), chelsea merchandises, teddy bear biscuits!(reminds me so much of the ones i had in HK! yippee! love 'em!)
went back hotel
SPA - OMG. what a sensational spa it was. it was my first time doing spa so i wasn't sure of all the procedures.. did it with dear yh, whom was slightly more experienced. but still, she didn't warn me abt it! so the exciting parts were having to change into the sarong in that 'tent'-super open space can! then lie down. did a scrub first. finished the whole of the back of the body. and then have to turn ard and lie supine! omg. i was only in my disposable undies! omg man. then i accidentally saw yh's... haha. but only a blurred vision. then the person even scrubbed my breast. OMG. i so didn't see that coming. alrite. that i survived. prett open abt it. did i mention it was kinda in a open area when the walls of the 'room' were juz bamboo stick-like hanging horizontally like can see the outside from inside and vice versa! eW
then came the worst part. or shld i see the funniest cum scariest part. showering naked with yh. oh dear, we were so silly laughing cos it was just so extremely awkward!
the rest of the spa was a massage in exactly the same manner as the scrub and followed by a bath in the bathtub- yes with yh again. naked. well, thank goodness for disposable undies and towel!
this was definitely a first for me! lesson learnt is to do it SINGLE in the future! haha. but yea, it did kinda brought us slightly closer on a physical level. HAHA
after the spa - pizza and pasta at the cafe
did a facial in our room, caught survivor's season finale, and zonked out

day2:
breakfast buffet - not fantastic. giving it 5/10 is juz me being generous.
swimming. well more like chilling in the pool
went sauna (my first. though extremely unsuccessful cos i didn't break a sweat at all)and dipped in the jacuzzi for awhile
checked out
had pop mee (cup noodles) while waiting for the bus to arrive.
played snooker!!! another first for me too! haha. it was pretty embarrassing cos we had no idea how to play it. in the end we cheated like crazy and by hook AND by crook, we got all the balls in! HAHA
went to ferry terminal, boarded the ferry and bye bye batam!
reached home safe and sound:) slept like a pig though. hehe

yea. so that was my rather interesting and definitely UNFORGETTABLE batam trip! :)
like my msn nick- it's good to be home!

NEW BLOGSKIN UP

thought of changing it since the last time i changed it. the prev one was too greeny and flowery and the words were often too small! shan't spoil ur eyes and mine!

anyway, it's been ages since i last blogged! and strangely enough, its not becos i was too busy. in fact, i think this sem i've been pretty slacked. haven't read up on all the lecture notes yet. oh dear. so much projects to do. and i really wish someone else would take charge just because.

oh wells. christmas is here! and it's finally our last term break of the freaking last semester in nyp. even the OTs had their final day of sch ytd! how shiok huh.
holiday plans: gg on batam trip with yh and des:) hopes everything will turn out well and we'll have a great relaxing time there!

deg conversion: not much of news on it, except tt i have to resubmit my application after the final results. can't ask for more except to maintain a 3.0 or at least pull up to 3.2

someone proposed a trip and i was invited. hmm. dunno if i should take up the offer.
anyone interested in a USA trip instead?

OMG
U GOTTA BE FREAKING RICH AND KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IN ORDER TO TOUR THE STATES. OTHERWISE MUZ GO WITH TOUR GROUP MAN. BORING
DEFINITELY NOT THE BEST DESTINATION TO TRAVEL ALONE...

travelling alone.. the idea seems a little daunting.. i can eat my meals and watch movies alone.. i muz say i'm quite the independent girl.. but travelling is another whole new different story.. so more, i'm not tt rich. and i dun have a license. haha

bought a pair of asics! WOOHOO!!!
gotta start running faithfully again!
bought way too much stuff over this weekend.. 2 tops at f21 & pull&bear, 2 online checkered purchases, and the shoes.
and i actually wana buy more stuff... but guess i better curb my buying(s) NOW!

had a great dining experience with the pt2 ppls at chomp chomp!!!
oh man the hokkien mee is sooo nice i cld totally finish up the 5$ plate on my own! and so is the sambal stingray!!! WOOHOO! and i love the huge mug of sugarcane juice! it's been so long since i last had sucha delicious tasty yumyum singapore food!
next up, adam road with s55 ppls!

i wonder how our thai trip will work out... and the batam trip too.. so annoying tt nobody is replying my fb msg! :S

OH! and btw... i've decided that my next dream (hopefully not juz a dream) destination is UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO GO THERE! SO MUCH TO DO, SEE, SHOP!!!!
USA ANYONE???

When I see their happy faces smilin' back at me.
7th Heaven, I know there's no greater feelin' than the love of family.
Where can you go when the world don't treat you right?
The answer is home; that's the one place that you'll find...
7th Heaven, mmmmm 7th Heaven
7th Heaven

one of of my all time favourite shows, and one of my fave songs.. esp the the 3rd & 4th line :)

finally, the very last clinical placement has come to an end.
i still remembered the first time i had a look at the clinical placement schedules when i was in yr1.looking back, i thought 'damn. 3 freaking placements in yr3? how the hell am i ever gonna get by that?!' and here i am. been there, done that.
by far, this is my best placement. i've learnt a lot, i feel inspired to do well, and i think this is where i can perform the best for my patients...
of course i wish i was a more well rounded physio, and i might need some help in ms cos tt's my least confident area.

anyways, i'm really glad tt clinicals are over - so i dun have to face somebody every single freaking hour. things got juz teeny weeny better at the last few days, only cos she sorta screwd up and i decided to be sympathetic towards her. i'm really looking forward to sch.. to seeing my good o' pals and being ard ppls whom i dun get angry, annoyed or pissed at. haha. unfortunately, fyp status is not tt good. gotta start working on my statistics! ARGH. on a side note.. haha. 3quarter of my fyp are gonna be colleagues in future! WOOHOO!

bought 110$ worth of cosmetics.. kinda regretted one of the foundations.. doesn't seem to suit me:( sadness. guess when it comes to cosmetics, got to spend and splurge quite abit b4 finding the right one..

on another note,
and i need a pair of running shoes!
hope the thai trip works out in the end!

U! pissed me off and i dun like u!
i try and stay invisible when u treat ur pt and help u if needed/necessary.
but u! talk talk talk talk talk! i dun give a damn how friendly u are, but i juz want u TO SHUT THE FUCK UP and LEAVE ME AND MY PATIENT ALONE! u're seriously cramping my style u noe that!
the stupid questions u ask are as though u're my CE and u wld noe better! but u fucking don't! what 'quiet people score better than the vocal ones"? WHAT THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT ABOUT!? DID U SERIOUSLY HAVE TO ASK THE CE ABT THAT IN FRONT OF ME??!?!?!? ARE U TRYING TO GET HER TO TELL U THAT NO, ACTUALLY VOCAL ONES WILL SCORE BETTER AND PPLS LIKE ME WHO ARE SO QUIET WILL DO WORSE. FUCK OFF MAN!
I WAS SO TIRED AT THE END OF THE DAY AND INSTEAD OF JUZ TELLING ME STRAIGHT TT I DIDN'T CLEAN IT PROPERLY, U HAD TO ASK AND PROBE IN FRONT OF ME CE SO THAT I MADE A DAMN MISTAKE IN FRONT OF HER AND SNAPPED AT U FOR THE WRONG REASON

I WISHED U HAD STAY AT HOME FOR THE REST OF THE 2 WKS
I WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY THE LAST 2 DAYS!!!! I DUN LIKE HAVING U AROUND AT ALL! U SHLD JUZ MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS AND STOP ACTING SO FUCKING HELPFUL, COS I FUCKING DUN CARE AND DUN APPRECIATE AT ALL. GO SUCK UP TO HER WHEN I'M NOT AROUND. DON'T FUCKING DO IT IN FRONT OF ME AND MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!! I HAVE NEVER USED SO MANY OF THIS FUCKING VULGAR WORD IN MY ENTIRE BLOG. I'VE TOLERATED ENOUGH OF U! I JUZ WANT U TO GO AWAY! FAR FAR FAR FAR AWAY!



ok.. after so much vulgarities. i apologise to any readers who are offended. joyce hasn't changed. she juz got angry and needed to vent it out. and yes, she was so angry she had an overdose of vulgarities in her blog. hopefully none in the future.
with regards to the above rantings, i juz wana say, maybe i'm over-reacting. perhaps i'm over sensitive. (OR PERHAPS IT REALLY IS HER FUCKING FAULT). sometimes ppls get on to my nerves, and if i keep quiet abt it, i'll burst out later on. The above wasn't a first. in fact, i ald told her off the other time rd. this time, actually she was juz annoying me cos i really didn't need her fucking dumb qns to try and make me look like i dunno what i'm doing COS I DO NOE WHAT I WAS DOING. CLEARLY.

i guess i shall go back to the 'idunwanatalktouandishallnotrespondunlessabsolutelynecessaryandifutryandtalksomemoreulljuzendupfeelingandlookinglikeanidiotsomyadviceisBUZZOFF!'

i had a minor setback, well, several minor setbacks during my 2nd week... i think i almost failed for safety.
oh wells, better make a list of to take note and mental steps b4 i see all my pts..
mid eval- cld be make or break wk...

ON THE OTHER HAND... there's a reason for me to look forward to travelling all the way to changi! haha :))

finally, first wk has ended. somewhat reminds me of CE3B. hence, i shall take ALL PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES and DO MY BEST FOR WK 2's EVAL!!!! JIA YOU EVERYBODY!

within 2 days, i spent way too much on food(REALLY GOOD FOOD AT FOSTER'S), presents and a pair of LEVI'S jeans tt i kinda bought on impulse! SIGH. what to do??!??! i seriously can't step into a shop with cards and cash on me man! tt's the only way to stop me from buying stuff!
had 2 gatherings over the fri and juz now.. had fun playing skip-bo and family business! hahaha.. really shld juz go mind's cafe one day and play all wkend long man!!!! so good to see my friends. haha.. and parting with them.. well, it's more like i dread the cmg monday than feel the sadness of parting with them.. then again.. it's probably the last time i'll see this bunch until dec 04. haha. uni life is insane man. so are we.

so much to do... and there's a chelsea match later! haha. kinda juz wana waste tonite away.. tmr.. hopefully it'll be more productive?


ya rite.

it's the time of month again.. well. not THAT time of the month.. but yea, clinicals are here to haunt me again..
on a positive side, i'm doing all these at HOME. singapore the little tiny red dot. the comfort of having my own desk(tho extremely messy), a desktop with great wireless that doesn't screw up every 1.5hrs (it better not!) and a awesome bed to toss and turn over every nite..
though i'll probably miss the free transport (bus '11') and late starting time.. but yea.. let's see what i can do with this placement.. hopefully i'll get the most out of it...

went to idp with fran to apply for several unis.. tho on one hand, we're pretty anxious abt the damn limited places, both of us are really looking forward to the chilled out and cool aussie lifestyle... fran n i .. well.. along with su and hc.. have came a long way man... i'm really glad to have all of them in my grp :)) really grateful for all the work they've put in, esp during the 4 days i wasn't here.. i think we make an awesome team.. tho not so during report writing. haha.. definitely gonna experience some up & downs later on (when i go off to slack. haha) but i'm pretty sure it'll brg us even closer together... haha. die die also muz finish report mah.

busy period cmg up next. but wateva it is, at least i'm at home..

it's gd to be home.

Good to Be HOME!

finally back home!

it was a good experience despite everything that had happened.

friendships were made.. and broken (in my case). it's unfortunate of course, but through this period of living with one another, u can really see the true colours of someone... the not so pretty true colours.. It's easy to have a friendship and just hang out for a day or so.. but having to live with someone else in that cramp and crappish room really brings out ur true personality and that everything u used to see on the surface were juz the decent cover of a really terrible book.

well, the good thing that come out from here is that i was able to experience LOTS of LOVE from my MUMMY! haha..... strange, but yes.

i wouldn't say i did nyp proud thru this clinicals- others cld have definitely done a much better job. Likewise, i wouldn't say that he was the best ce of all. i feel shortchanged, like i went there but i didn't get as much as i wanted.

Bungee was my main highlight. did u know u weren't suppose to actually JUMP off the platform, but instead juz to lean forward? (yea, i vaguely recall tt from somewhere else too)
sadly, i had TERRIBLE photos and TERRIBLE video, so i will definitely NOT POST my video. Definitely will do it again!!! JOIN ME MY FRIENDS!
Bungy(haha, i realised i keep spelling it as BUNGEE) vs skydiving
==== hmmm.. the 'weirdest' part abt bungee was the leaning forward, cos it's super OMG - like what the hell am i supposed to do?????? for skydiving, thinking back, the part where i was gasping for air was pretty scary too. but skydiving i won't do it much often in future, cos of the air pressure differences... unlike bungy where u dun really experience much physiological changes.. and also i wana train my abs so i can pull that damn strap off at one go next time!

it's a weird feeling to be totally by myself compared to being myself in the presence of the other 2.. there's more comfort in numbers in the latter. not that it really matters right now, since i'm at the lobby watching boys over flowers. but yea, i'm curious to know where they are right now...

this wkend was pretty relaxed i guess. to be staying in hongkong and not having to worry abt what condition the next pt will present with or wat are the biomechanics of this and that... it's juz pure holiday..

Hai. can't believe that for the ortho inpt, i'll still be graded. kena stumped by all the simple qns today...


i can't play catch up anymore. any longer.
i miss being alone without being lonely.

i noe many of the 'consequences' are the results of the decisions i made, but i guess that's juz who i am. it's hard to put it in words. maybe i'm a complicated person who doesn't like to be 'manipulated', i like things to be done my way - unfortunately, when i'm ard with ppls who are more outspoken and have a mind of their own, instead of speaking up, i'd rather go do my own thing, my own way, myself, alone.

if u stay in a foreign land for 6wks with ppls whom u're are not used to, u either hate em or love em.
but whateva the emotion u choose for the person, only express it after the 6wks.
until then, u juz gotta suck it up, cos they are the ones u sleep next to every single night...

28 days have passed and i've made up my mind.

soon! ppls, i'm cmg home REAL SOON!!!
and soon i'll be able to treat my 2 kind friends for the help they've provided me few mths back! :)))))

i can't WAIT to get out of the clinic man! wk 3 was still tolerable. managed to survive somehow... but i dunno how much more he'd expect from us on the last wk!! i'm secretly glad i can't speak canto, so perhaps he doesn't expect me to give pt education.. haha. but then i wished i was able to understand the language more. cos it seems like my ce is so good with his pt, building up rapport and stuff. and i really wish i know what he was saying to the pt so i can pick up some stuff from him!

sigh.. i wonder how it'll be like if i'm here with my good pals instead.. haha.. i dunno... guess it depends on who..

hmm.. inservice is such a chore. i'd be out shopping like mad if it wasn't for inservice. not that i'm very productive anyway. juz kinda waiting for them to pass me the impt info..

miss the days at sydney.. guess it's always the case. when i'm in sg, i'll yearn to go overseas, and the moment i step out of sg, i wish i was back in sg. why is it this way??? i'm like half looking forward to gg aus for further studies, but now... after been to sydney for 1wk and hk for 3wks plus(soon 5wks), i can't decide if i really wana leave the stupid little red dot.

Updates from HK!

it's been super long since i last updated! been thru quite a lot but i'll try to summarise them all

day1: at the airport. started out really embarrassing cos my mum was rushing for work, and she kept insisting on me and the rest to check in. while the family of the other 2 are still like 'dilly dallying'.. which is understandable on their part. but i still feel my mum didn't have to be so kanchiong to send me off for a 6wks HK attachment

my 4mth old samsung pixxon broke down on me the moment the plane landed in hk. it literally burnt up. -.- so annoying

we got lost on the way to the hotel becos we took bus instead of cab. BAD CHOICE. DUN EVEN DO THAT OK. [now tt we look back on that experience, we cld have found our way easier since we juz walked rounds and rounds abt the hotel. but still. if u have a 20kg lugguage. TAKE A CAB]

sobbed and sobbed on the first nite there when we found out the room was freaking small. it was really extremely small.. and all the problems surfaced upon us and we just cldn't control our tears... fortunately, a kind soul appeared and we managed to switch to a bigger room the next day. accommodation- settled.

Clinicals. our CE is no-joke, no-nonsence kind one ok. tt says it all. nothing close to my neuro CE in ttsh. and we had peripherals on top of spine cases! ARGH. anyway, i was really stressed out during the first and 2nd wk. cried and called my mum to talk abt it.. it was quite similar to how i felt back on the day before bio Alevels.. juz extremely painful. not to mention i was in a foreign land far far away from home. did not help at all. but after a while, i got settled. i dun think my mid-eval is extremely reflective of my competency due to lack of spine cases. so. oh wells. i hope to do better within the next 2 wks since my spine placement is only 4 wks short. [yes, i'm extremely happy to say that my spine placement is only 4 wks. i dun think i can handle this amt of stress any longer. but of course tt meant i only have 4(now 2) wks left to redeem myself... ]

shopping wise- let's juz say i'm the type tt will buy stuff tt can be found in sg overseas. yea. so brands like esp nike and adidas- i'll buy them when i'm overseas cos tt's when i can spend the money more at ease. haha. rubbish. wateva... i haven't decided if i shld get converse anot.. not really my style. haha. maybe la. still got one more yr of uni(if i get in). i juz feel like my sense of style and clothings shld change now tt i'm a adult..ok. tt's abit rubbish. i can't phrase it well. but yea. something along tt line tt i shld dress nicely more. haha.

hmm. i declare sunday my free and easy day. cos the other 2 go church, and i decide i shall do whateva i like whenever i want. so yup.

yup. food is alrite here... had a century egg porridge lunch diet last wk.. haha... muz save money over the wkdays so that i can spend more over the wkends!!

i miss my mummy.... everytime i'm sad and i talk to her, i'll miss her more... and i'll end up crying... i dunno how my grades will turn our - both the exam and the placement grades.. i really hope i'll do well this 2 wks and prove my competency.

on the brigher side...

i realised the past few entries have been way too depressing. so i shall have a "happy" one for now!

ok. so clinicals are over. obviously i dun fare as well in clinicals as i had so in my yr2 semesters. i forsee the one in HK won't be any easier, but i shall TAKE ON THE CHALLENGE and conquer my fear for outpt! hahaha :)

HK. yes. speaking of HK. i'm leaving in abt 10days time? that's damn fast rite?!
started packing alr... though i'm not too sure what books or lecture notes to bring along.. damn i only have one nite to pack! i hope i dun have to buy anything last min. most prob can buy it over at HK bah. quite excited...

... BUT

exams is in 7 days. i feel like i haven't had decent muggin session for super long. the pass few days juz doing paeds was driving me crazy. so glad i'm done with it alr! phew. which is why i'm quite happy. haha..

i wana go macau after hongkong! i wana see the remains of that st paul's cathedral. the one where boys over flowers had a scene there...it's been so long since i last got addicted to a drama serial.. it's nice to have something to look foward to watch every sat. too bad i can't do so for the next 7wks! damn! muz record them down!!!

hai. yet another placement to pull down my overall gpa. i dunno how my exam grades are gonna help pull up the overall.
GRADES REALLY DO MATTER. no matter how much u learn from the placements or based on the mistakes u make, grades are the ones tt are so possibly gonna make or break u.
well, in my case. i think i'm pretty screwed.
i didn't think my clinical skill will be this bad until i actually come for outpatient.
i need more C2s. this is insanity.

i really want to have a part in making these people better.
but i'm not sure if this is meant for me.

SUCK IT UP JOYCE!!!!!!!!!!

to be honest. i haven't really learn much this placement. and it's been 3 weeks alr. this wk passed esp fast. i tried to redeem myself. but there wasn't really much opportunity to do so.

i dunno what to do man.

i have the worst grades ever over this past sem!!!!!!!
D+ D+ C+
SERIOUSLY CRAP MAN.
Like so what if i can "afford" to go to a uni now? i dunno if my grades can still ensure me a univerity entry!!! F*&^$#@!$%&* juz cos got scholarship doesn't = confirm entrance u know!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn it man.i muz now get almost full marks in order to juz get a B+. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

prediction for exam papers:
CP is damn hard.
AP is HARD - unknown.
MS- usually ok, but this time round maybe not becos of youknowwho

have i been slacking too much? issit becos i dun stress myself before the tests, tt's why i've stopped achieveing better than what i could? or was it really becos the paper was too tough? hmm.. probably my fault. the way i handle stress.. taking everything to be too easy... wrong! i muz change asap. i gotta aim higher and produce a miracle during the exams. (my heart totally sank as i type the previous sentence.) it's so tough.

now.. i juz wana enter a university... tt's all....

annoyingly cute. dammit




all the best for wk3!

oh i can't wait to have my room to myself!!! first is to remove the ugly cabinet tt takes up half the room! then buy new bed, wardrobe, nice desk, and one extremely comfy single couch to lay on. oh, and a punching bag wld be nice too.

first wk at ttsh is fine. not the best. but definitely have the cutest CE of all. haha. all neuro PTs are so soft and nice.

too busy/sleepy to study this weekend! slept from 10pm to 10am today. rushed to bro's engagement. slept again. watching harry potter til midnite or smthg. then boys over flowers. (YES I'M WATCHING TT SHOW. IT'S QUITE NICE. I HAVE TO ADMIT IT.)then tmr gg to watch harry potter (6) in the noon, then AT NITE, gg to watch harry potter AGAIN (on tv). haha. it's like the harry potter weekend. hopefully can go jog a little in the morn (provided i wake up early!)

wants to start on my obesity essay and AP revision soon!

wk 12 is OVER! thank god. dun have to do repract for either ms nor cp. HUGE RELIEVE.
phew!!!!!!!!

now napfa. sian. clash with menses somemore lor. 2.4 sure gone case. as usual.

of course i'm delighted tt i'm posted to ttsh for CE3A. somemore it's with nurul and mashy! company's always important. not too crazy abt the distance and the fact tt it's neuro instead of MS/CP. means i need to fork out extra time to study for the upcoming exams. totally dreads it

it feels like a holiday all over again. sigh. sad sigh.

finally signed the deed :)

jie and cheryl are back. but i think they gotta self-quarantine themselves first. and i really can't risk getting h1n1 this period. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

had a pretty good dinner at hardrock cafe with the ntmb ppls :) it was kinda a rowdy place.. a little noisy.. the food is decent tho. recession deal was pretty good. 23.40 for nice mushroom soup, steak(or cod fish) as main, brownie with ice cream and tea/coffee.
bonding time with them was pretty nice too.. esp the part abt planning for the future in aussie.

i'm quite saddened abt the recent break up between kate and jon gosselin. if only they hadn't start the show abt how they handle/cope with their 8 children. now, these 8 children will not be able to experience parental love similar to those of other normal family. sadness. i love collin. can't imagine what will become of them as they grow up.

makes me think twice abt having so many kids. if my partner is gonna cheat on me when our kids are 5, i dun think i'm noble enuf to ignore it and tolerate it for the sake of my kids. but getting a divorce will juz break my heart and my kids will juz be so heartbroken (even tho they won't understand the repercussions of it til much later).

on another note,
yahoo news: more singles leaving it to chance to find their other half.
“And because so many people are hoping to meet someone by chance, the probability of that happening is very low. So as a result, why many are still single is because they have not met anyone that they want to be involved with.”

i knew it man.
who said the right guy will juz come along when the time is right? not true lor. everyone wait and wait and wait. wait until all the hair become white liao lor. mine alr one-tenth white le :(


on another another side note.
i have mixed feelings regarding the wk11 being elearning. sure enuf, i haven't studied much and i really need the extra time. but can u imagine, wk12? having to do ALL of wk 11 work PLUS PLUS having to get prepared for clinicals on wk13. INSANITY man. plus napfa, which i confirm will fail. SIGH. and ms prac. MEANS I CANT FAIL MS PRAC LEH. wah lao. how to retake ms prac if it's all in the same wk. CHOI. of cos i dun wana retake la.oh. and CP. OMG.

ohmytian.

sadness.
or maybe just stupidity.

my life revolves ard fyp... oh my god.. it's so damn frustrating!!!
i dunno wat's worse. not knowing wat to do, or having TOO MUCH TO DO!
ARGH
seems like i can't get to start on other stuff cos everytime i'm in the mood to do some non-fyp work, i seem to drift off to doing fyp instead!!!
it's so freaking frustrating!!!!

to do list in this 2 wks:
NON-FYP
ms clinical pattern
ms revision
ms prac
work beh test
paeds
applied physio intro
applied physio revision
cp revision
cp prac revision

FYP
carry out actual expt
think of stats analysis
get ready fyp proposal and viva defense. craploadofbullshit.

and i'm supposed to enjoy this term break no matter what. ARGH

wk 7 has ended. one more wk to our supposed 2wkbreaks...
i've completed the B1 of my BD, and i juz bought a hip scarf :)
i still got tons to do, as usual.
i need to sign the deed, i want to get my allowance.
i have tons to buy (as usual)it's GSS, and i haven't bought a thing yet. HIP SCARF NOT COUNTED.
i'm not sure if i shld buy wii next wk. my mum might kill me.

i dreamt abt limjie again. haha. pls dun bring back swine flue, jie! otherwise u'll get quarantined, and we can't see u!

anyway, i juz want to tell all my pt frens that this year have been great even with the humongous workload. i feel like i finally belong to the group, and i have really enjoyed the company :D thank u guys, and i'm pretty sure we'll all get through this/these and come out better and stronger and FUNNIER TOO :D

everyone, i'm gg to HONGKONG.
27th AUG to 8 OCT 2009.

confirmed, guaranteed plus chop and stamped.

happiness people.

2nd trip in a year. i hope my money comes in soon man. STILL HAVEN'T SIGN THE DEED. SO SIAN....

i wana buy my wii next wk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not so sure abt it. but i hope i get to buy it!!!
i owe my mum ALOT OF MONEY man!

first case of h1n1 in sg. i hope it doesn't spread. i want to finish my clinicals, finish my fyp, go to HK, and graduate as planned. no surprises.

anyway, i was in the toilet when the news came on abt the girl who returned from NY. and i thought abt my dreams. not wat i dreamt when i slp, but juz in general dreams.
i'm a very simple girl, quite easily contented, and i try to count my blessings every now and then.

my dreams are
-get a physio degree
-i wana work overseas
-get married. hopefully to-you-know-who-and-no-it-doesn't-have-to-be-mr.p-but-i-wouldn't-mind-anyway
-have kids. omg. i really wana have kids with the above mentioned..
-travel around the world, gg to places like europe,states,ozland,(no, i dun wana go india and get molested when i arrive at the airport nor do i wana backpack ard china(minus HK and TW). sorry, i won't waste my money liddat.)
-i want to work til i'm 40. i hope my husband is the heir of some CEO grandpapa.
-i want to stay in a suburb and be like one of those desperate housewives
-i want to keep my friends close to me so all our children will grow up getting hitched or being BFFS

if i have to choose between travelling and having a family. handsdown the latter wins. unless the guy i marry is a jerk. in that case then i'll probably remain single and travel ard the world for the rest of my life.

yea. btw, i think i finally finished lit review.

happy21stbdaycherylteojiahui :D even though u probably won't see this.

i'm abt to finish my lit review. not finish finish to the extent that i can submit it, but just to the point where i need a couple more evidence to back me up, and an editor for my poor language.
and i feel like writing a post, so here i am.

i saw a couple of pics on fb.
will one change if she moves from sg to aussie to study? like, will the personality change? her dressing definitely yes - cos of weather. but also like her style(summer time) will be better too right, compared to if she had stayed here in sg. Probably becos AM tends to dress up better and more... and in sg, when it's hot, i'd rather stay home then dress up, go out and sweat in my pretty clothes. haha.
Personality will change becos she isn't really who she wants to be in sg, but if she goes to aus, she will find it more comfortable? how can that be true? i dunno.
when she returns, how will she see the rest of her friends? will be be comfortable with them? (well it depends on who she hung out back in aus - AM vs asians? but then again, the asians could very well be AM-type)
why do college students like to drink alcohol? i mean SERIOUSLY. why????? why is it such a big deal? will i go to a party and there won't be any soda available? that will be terribly awful.

i took a canto test on fb and it says CMI. DIE man. seriously jia lat liao. better get amanda to teach me during the coming break. i forsee ppls will look at me with a long neck and tease and taunt me like how he did when i was 9. a traumatic experience i muz say. lots of scarves!

lots of work to be done over the next few weeks. i'm anticipating for the wk 11 to arrive. when it comes, it'll have to leave. hahaha. nonscence. i juz wana get things done and over with.

had dinner with amanda and angie at kimgary last fri. reason? none. juz wanted to spend time with them? how can friends be friends for the sake of buying presnts and celebrating bdays? it's the fun and comfortable-ness, and a really good distraction away from all work and stress. bonding time is always fun for me :D

belly dance class is fine. 2 down, 2 more to go. hmm. i'll probably take the next level after i return from HK. muz make use of my membership mah.

a new wk awaits all of us tmr. let's do it!

i have been not-nice aka mean to a fellow classmate. SIGH. how am i ever gonna get accepted by my peers in future?
dateline of lit review is postponed. my level of ambitiousness has dropped too.
i have trouble finding sureties. so many of them are either sureities for someone else or are being bonded alr.
i still have problems with my fringe
i need to run
i love to eat
the 1 hr nap i took juz now was pretty good
i need to prepare for tmrs tutorial but i'm still stoning over my agilit lit review
i hope bala can see us tmr.

i need to change my blogskin soon. words are annoyingly small these days.

tue's PT clinic is so far off from reality. shoots man. SHE is gonna kill us on friday.

sch days have been rather long.. today was bad. i have too much to do, too little time. WHY TOO LITTLE TIME? becos i start sch at 8 am and i have to go bed before 1 in order to have enuf sleep to tahan the next day, but when i reach home from sch, i'm juz mentally drained ALREADY to even do any of the enormous pile of work.

i tell myself, even as Y3 as tougher, i muz still find time to enjoy life. and so, this saturday, i will start with a belly dance class, followed by a buffet treat courtesy to my fren.
and next sat, i get to go to a holiday resort at sentosa :D the high class kind ok? not the stupid small chalet. hahahaha.

oh yes. i juz rmbered wat's supposed to be the main point of this post.
the past few days during lect have been a blur.... i tried my best to keep focus, but at times i got too tired and sleepy. but obviously i can't sleep in class, so my mind drift off to something.. someone. MR.P.... hahahaha. *seriously man, i need to move on!*
yea, i was reminiscencing the old days... the day they called my name juz so i cld turn ard and see mr.p walk pass, or tt we're both waiting for our frens at the atm. the changing of seats so tt i have a better view of him eating. the final day which i still find extremely embarrassing, and the day i saw him doing grocery shopping wif his gf at cityhall and YET STILL SO EXCITED ABT IT. hahahahaha..

OH. those good old days.
i secretly wish tt one of my CE3 placement is done in sgh. for i noe i won't be there for the next 3 yrs after i grad.

i am quite anxious/worried/scared abt PT clinic tmr. i wonder issit due to my LOW SELF-EFFICACY? or the fact that i know that i actually DUNNO ALOT OF THINGS.
i'm afraid that i'll be 'exposed' tmr, in front of my peers, and the PT there.

BUT THEN AGAIN. it's better to make mistakes now and LEARN rather than screw up my reputation in the future rite?

JIA YOU JOYCE.

i love my friends :D

it was wonderful!!!!

long weekend started on fri- went simin's place to play her wii's rockband and HSM!! SO FUN! i sux at the games, but i believe with more practice, i'll do better!! then we proceeded to aiping's condo where her celebration was held. ambience was 'romantic', but rather dark. THE FOOD IS YUMMYLICIOUS. i swear if it wasn't close to my bed time, i wld have finished the whole packet of penne! cos i do love pasta!! and the best part? LAUGHING TO MY HEARTS CONTENT. omgosh. being ard with these bunch always make me laugh as though i haven't laughed for the past 10yrs. sy was soooooooooooooooooooooooo extremely funny(not juz the embarrassing moment) but her imitation of a prc was damn hilarious!!! ah. it was super funny la! i totally enjoyed myself with the great food and awesome company. thanks guys :D love the pressies u guys gave :D and happy bday aiping!

then on sat! the s55 ppls met up for a mini project at amanda's hse... haha.. hope everything turns out well.. and it was yet another funny gathering with angie's unfortunate buys and mediacorp's many shocking and 'gay' revelations. hahahahaha/

i juz simply love my friends :D including the PT ppls :D

thanks all of u! totally made my day/weekend :D

cheers to many more funny moments in the future!!!

bikinis are all so pretty :) if only i had the figure to flaunt it every wkend. it's so sad i can't go tanning cos my tanning pals are in aussie :( when i have the courage, i'll go alone. until then, i shall. not. tan.

went for a belly dance trial juz now :) went pretty well. i wld love to take up lessons and eventually do a tummy roll (or wateva tt's called). now that money is not really a limitation, i feel that i shld be more active outside sch!

went to 'made with love'- the shop at PS tt sells scrapbook supplies. omg man. i feel like i shld start buying stuff there regularly cos they're all so pretty.. and engage myself in a mini-art project every now and then. note to self: keep track of receipts from tt shop.

haven't done much this wkend except to go thru the work beh lect notes. gotta do laundry now, and if i dun fall asleep after tt, jogging wld be a great idea too!

i like long wkends :D

i'm not sure if it's the weather. but today, i had this sudden feeling that i really miss that wk in sydney. definitely the weather. and the company. it's quite strange, i didn't really miss sydney when i return home immediately. but it's been over a wk, and now, some of these feelings juz came back to me, and yes, i miss sydney. i wld love to go back to australia ++++++++ i muz have my friends along with me.

i lost the to-do list for this weekend. so sunday basically flew by as a totally unproductive day. oh wells. it IS just wk1.
and already, i look forward to end of wk2. haha

here's a nice pic of us in front of QVB. the more impt part is us. so i shall crop away the queen. haha

YR3 SEM1 WK1 - DONE

phew:D

1. i can predict spine is gonna tough. mmhmm.
2. fyp shld be manageable cos my grp has good ppls :D
3. ICU will be a little daunting.
4. paeds shld be fine.
5. i shall enjoy applied physio cos bio has been my fav subject.
6. napfa will be interesting. i wana pass my 2.4!!!! and u know today i was soo annoyed with my tibial torsion. so crappish la. bad enuf tt i dun have slim legs- but muz gimme that weird curve for wat?!?!?! ARGH. still. no excuses for not passing my 2.4.

enjoy the weekends my friends!

fyi: i'm posted to NUH. yes, it's near my house. tt's abt it. dun sense much enthusiasm? haha. there isn't. well, at least it IS near my hse. and i can look forward to chilling at the pubs at holland v after my work. haha.

i'm gonna work hard this sem. academically wise. i dunno how on earth i get such a horrendous grade for the whole of my yr2 placements. i dun think it's justified at all. i can whine and whine all abt it but there's no way anyone is gonna do anything abt it. DAMNIT.

i wana swim with sharks the next time i go aussie :)
tt shld be quite scary. shld be more scary than the skydive bah.
you know i'm proud tt i did the skydive, but the kinda feeling after i completed it doesn't seem very HIGH.. hmm. like i said, maybe it's becos i'm not that scared in the first place. yea. probably.

i need to buy the following
1. school bag (my eastpak is juz peeling and peeling.)
2. longchamp? hmm.... tt's a want, not a need
3. laptop... hmmm.. important for FYP i guess, and 4th yr too.
yea, tt's all. the school bag is very important. probably i'll get something tt doesn't peel so easily on the inside.

btw, thanks PT ppls for getting the chelsea tee, hair curling iron and f21 clutch. all very practical - i like :)

aussie trip part 2- reflections.

1) sydney has alot of internations aka asians. and they speak with weird english which to me - makes me more conscious abt the way i speak.
2) i can't seem to hold a simple conversation, even as simple as answering a waiter's qn abt the food. gosh. i hated their huge portions. big portions literally kill my appetite. thank god there wasn't really much i was missing out on ( i feel)
3) the ppls there dress very well. i wish i had a nice figure to be able to dress like them.
4) the "ah bengs" there really intimidates me. i mean, here in sg, i can just walk past ahbengs and not get freaked out. there, i think i'll just siam them as soon as they’re in my sight. those teens are just so ... [maybe becos i'm a tourist there].
5) i'm starting to worry abt going their for my 4th year. it's not easy. i swear it's not. just hearing stories from cheryl and jie makes me scared. having to speak up in front of them- oh my god. i can't even speak up in my own class la, much less to do so in front of them. and i know they'll be judging me. in a bad way.
6) if i work there, where on earth am i gonna find friends to chill out with after work?????
7) random- do u know in sg we having flashing green man, and in sydney- they have flashing red man. it's quite scary to see a red man in the middle of the road u noe. haha. and this stupid car almost knocked into jie. still shake his head at us somemore. idiot.
8) but the lifestyle there seems quite cool. like there was this park we went to, and ppls were just lying on the lawn..! the weather is so good u cld really do that u noe! i liked it. i love their weather!!! there was definitely less oil on my face at the end of each day! haha.
9) it's not really the place(sydney) that u go, but it's the ppls that go with you. thank u cheryl and jie - for being tolerant abt my mood swings...
10) fyi, if any of u stay in a backpacker's hostel, dun leave ur food in the common area- someone will take it. we had that experience.
11) darkness. u noe, at 6pm there, it gets really dark already. it looks like 10. and shops closes early in aus. so, there wasn't really much we cld do. in fact, i think we spent like 30% of the time there juz on walking from pointA to pointB.
12) how am i gonna meet a guy there? sigh. i need to be more confident man.
13) think the clubbing scene there is bigger.
14) i wish i was born a caucasian. seriously. when i was in sydney, i juz wished i wasn't a singaporean. that way, i cld fit in better with the rest.
15) skydiving. it may seem like i'm a brave soul that conquered such an incredible adventure. but i think i wasn't that scared in the first place, so even though i've completed it, to me, it doesn't FEEL like such a big thing. oh my, i can't believe i just said that. but anyway, i'm still glad i did such a huge thing in my life. i'm looking forward to telling my grandkids abt the awesome 21st bday i had. so, what next? haha, really, it seems like when u completed such a huge thing like this, everything else should be EASIER rite? NO. sigh.
16) i'm a little sad that i have yet to blown a candle on a cake yet. maybe my family cake.
17) being back in sg was a good feeling. really. i know how everything works here, i know where to go and how to get there. i have ALL my friends and family here. it's good to be home. oh and my bed. love my bed. hostel's bed was bunk bed and shared with 3 other ppls. so it was quite uncomfortable la.
18) good to be eating sg's food. compared to food there - where the portions are so huge. i have come to realise that huge portions kills my appetite.
19) now that i've been to australia(even though it's juz sydney), i'm kinda lost. like aussie was my dream for all my life. but after this experience, i dunno if i still wana have a life there. i mean, aside from the weather and friendly staff ??!?
20) I’ve turned 21. I hope that I can really grow up. Have a good and healthy social life. Be, look and act more like a adult. Oh I hope to have a bf soon. Haha. no need AM la. i've decided it's not that impt - nor issit easy.

Resolutions
Exercise HARDER
Learn to drink well enough.
Keep my friends close to me. Or even closer. haha
Think of my next destination
Think of my next big thing to do.. maybe. i was thinking i shld do skydiving more? haha. since bungee doesn't seem AS COOL as skydiving. but oh wells, wateva extreme sports (that dun require training, juz guts), count me in!

sch starts tmr! final lap!

Back from Sydney

WOOHOO!!! it's good to be home :)
UPDATES pics are all on fb :)

day1 thu
i was the first to reach the airport! imagine my horror when i dun see the other 2.
but i survived. we took a cab back to our hostel - YHA SYDNEY CENTRAL.
went to chinatown which was very near the hostel and had lamian for dinner. i was quite, erm hesitant - about eating there. come to aussie to eat chinese food?!?!?!
anyway, the portions were HUGE. i almost didn't feel like eating when i saw the food. oh and btw, there was this EDWARD CULLEN LOOKALIKE in the same restaurant. HAHA! so cute la.
went back to rest. we were in this 4beds room, so there were 2 other roomies there. and me and cheryl were literally holding out breaths as we unpacked to go shower. yea, cos we didn't wana wake them up.
and the bunk beds were metal. so imagine the creeky sounds i made whenever i turned. i didn't sleep well man. there was a easter party downstairs. boom boom boom.
oh, i saw ALOT of internations aka asians.

day2 fri
cereal and milk for breakfast is so not my type.
went to see the opera house and harbour bridge. had a nice chicken burger and hotdog for lunch. you see, the 3 of us share 2 portions. just right.
bought bus tix and travelled to coogee beach. saw this scene where a girl was just screaming vulgarities in the middle of the road, and then at the bus stop. she was like wat, 16? stupid.

day3 sat
brunch at pancakes on the rocks. a hungry joyce is a grumpy one!
walked around the ROCKS, and bought some souvenirs :)
saw a gay couple. nice.
walked along george street, which was really long.
ate krispy kremes :)
shopped at supre!
had salad for dinner. yum? nah. healthy? of course la!

day4 sun
took a ferry to taronga zoo
nope, the zoo is not as fantastic as the singapore zoo. REALLY! we walked the same paths over and over again!
had a little meltdown. sorry girls. i think it's part of pms.
had a awkward dinner at the fish market
everything kinda resolved later on
sat in a circus to watch several acts of performances.
had a nice desert at lindt cafe

day5 mon
went to oxford street. where mardi grass was held. too bad i missed it man!
then to bondi junction- which is a really huge shopping mall
and then to bondi beach.
UNFORTUNATELY, it RAINED like nobody's business! damn it man! pouring like mad la! so we couldn't really walk the beach :(
head back to yha for a salad dinner. haha

day 6 tue
ooh, had breakfast at the 'a little on the side cafe'.
cute waiter :)
i was so not in the mood to eat. even went to the hotel next to the cafe to shit.
and i was still not in the mood to eat after that.
went to direct factory outlet at homebush. had to take a train and bus. i even dropped my 35$ bus ticket on the floor which i only realised after the bus left! SO SAD! shopping was alrite. alot of shops. too many things to see. if only we cld spend longer time there, and if only i had more money. haha
poor cheryl was feeling unwell throughout.
after homebush, we headed back to oxford street cos i wanted to get my shoes from rubi shoes. (didn't really spend as much as i thought i would at homebush). then we took a bus to bondi cos 'i want to touch the sand and touch the sea' at bondi beach. HAHA. how can i not do that when i'm in aussie rite?!?!?!?! of course i insisted we went, even though it was pretty dark. and oh. it was not even 6pm lo. it looked like it was 7-8pm
so, when we reach there. cheryl, finally puked. gosh. it was ONE BIG BAG OF PUKE man! haha, no photos to show for that. but yea. luckily i got bring plastic bags meant for puking, and it came in handy! she felt much much much better, so thank goodness for that. THEN.... we finally went to touch the sand! and i touched the sea! hahaha. it was quite scary, cos there were lightning. haha. i was the only one to make my way towards the ocean, (or issit sea) and made sure the waves reached my feet. hahahaha
later on, we had dinner at bondi pizza :) loved the pasta there! it was my first proper meal of the day i felt.

day 7 wed
SKYDIVING DAY! happy 21st to ME
couldn't sleep well
took a free ride to wollongong. bumpy car ride for 1.5hrs
well, i got ready and this cute guy helped to put the harness on for me. too bad, he wasn't a chatty one. oh wells
adam was my skydiving 'instructor'. took a film of the whole ride
plane ride was pretty cool. we sat in a very close packed position. haha. and there was this other bday boy too! he was the first to go off, followed by his gf, and then it's ME.
it was awesome. it happend really very fast too, i just know i had difficulty breathing, and the next thing i knew, adam opened the parachute.
yea. u guys should check out the video. it was a awesome experience :)

anyway, i was feeling a little unwell for the rest of the day ... so sad
slept in and skipped lunch. didn't even had a decent breakfast lo.
later on, we dressed up and went for dinner! ate at hurricane grill at darling harbour.
oh the waiter. the so fierce looking waiter who resembles lincoln burrows. only darker. haha
didn't eat much, again. couldn't even finish my soup.
thanks jie for the treat!
headed to starcity the casino. spent a dollar and that was it. haha.

day8 thu
last day. did last min shopping and headed back to the airport
ok take note everyone, if u take A380, pls reach the airport like 3 hrs early to check in alrite?! it was such a long queue when i reached there!
plane ride. honestly, simin!! the ride is about the same as normal SQ rides, cos it's economy class. so to me, there's no difference. except the movies and games part- abit more organized and catergorised for easier viewing.
landed safely for the 3rd time (first in sdyney, 2nd was skydiving!)

alrite, reflections will be on the next post. maybe later in the afternoon!

whiny mood

I'M GONNA WHINE RIGHT NOW

I'M SORRY BUT I JUST NEED TO WHINE.

C+ FOR 3 CLINICAL PLACEMENTS SUCKS SO BAD

DO I NOT DESERVE B?

AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

my overall gpa dropped.

and yes, i know i have a scholarship. but- it doesn't mean i can just fare badly in my modules. shit man

i have to say this. i was disappointed. abt how it turned out. i guess, life can't be smooth-sailing all the time.

anyway, this is a video of the louhei we had 2 mths back. didn't really wana post of FB.. haha. some things are juz meant to be kept within our circles. or so i feel. happy viewing :D

new blogskin. again. :D

apparently, i've been banned on posting on some of my fren's blogs. which really upsets me becos i know they didn't do it but i dunno why that msg keeps popping up!
*hmpf*
anyway, to all my UNI pals - all the best! one more mth of tests, assignments, reports and the dreaded exams.. and then, it's 3 freaking mths of non-stop PLAY

so. not. fair.

by then i wld have started sch :(

hmm. 4 more days to aussie. let the counting down BEGIN.

good news everyone! (once again)
well, it's not really THAT fantastic, but it sure is making me pretty happy.
----- i've got a new phone :) SAMSUNG PIXXON M8800
i think i quite like having a samsung phone. hopefully touchscreen doesn't cause MUCH trouble.
NO. it's not a early birthday present.
anyway. tt's like a lot of sms-es and a lot of outgoing calls that i HAVE to make cos i know, i USUALLY will not be able to use that many. yes. this happens to be my first mobile PLAN too.

oh and the reason why i got it is so that i can have auto-roaming in aussie. HAHA
it is one of the first reasons.

i got it!

EVERYBODY. CONGRATULATE ME
i got my scholarship offer! yayness! tt's what i was talking abt 2 posts before.
HEHE! so exciting please!!!!
well, aside from not having to worry abt getting loans from bank to pay off the tuition fees- i get a monthly allowance of $****, and well, yeah that's it. haha.

thanks des!

SO EXCITING PLEASE. i've been acting like a crazy girl for the past few days and i even made my mum angry cos of the interview. well, no worries now.

overall, this year seems to have started really well for me dun we all think so? and it's not even april yet! haha.. aussie trip + skydiving soon. scholarship offer. and hopefully if all goes well, i'll get to go for that overseas placement.

this scholarship offer definitely came at the right time. it's like an early 21st bday present!

hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm gonna treat my family to a nice meal every month
pay back my mum for that plane tix
buy Wii. yes, angie, i'm gonna buy wii - u guys can come over to my hse instead!
buy ipod. it's abt time.
buy a longchamp bag. whee!!! maybe soon?

life was good. and now, it has just got better. way way way better :)

i wasn't in the mood of telling my mum what was asked in the interview for i know later she'll ask how i answered it. and juz having to tell her the interview means i have to recall how i performed the interview.

so how was the interview?
i'd rather not talk about it. will only find out the result in 1-2 wk's time. and i do hope is sooner rather than later.

i hope i get it tmr.
i really hope i do.
life would be soooooo much better if do get it.
please let me get it
please!!!!!
everyone pray for me that i get it.
if i get it, i can go buy WII!!! OMG!!!!
when i get it, i'll let you guys know.
all the best to me

5 wks of clinicals has passed. it felt like i've only learn 2 wks for stuff.
this is so not enuf.
to me, it seems as though each clinicals, i juz kinda learn some stuff and somehow managed to pass the evaluation without the CEs realising perhaps i may not be that competent after all. i dunno. i'm wondering how this will affect me when i start work. definitely gonna give fb to the sch abt sach. [sorry! no offense! it's juz not rite!]

ANYWAY, IT IS THE HOLIDAYS! SO, HOORAY!
haha. i find that my excitement has slight died down a little compared to last sunday.
sighs....

apparently i was picked for curtin.... OMG.
but a swap is gonna take place cos well, curtin is abit more ex, and besides, after some consideration, hk may be quite fun after all. excluding the absence of AM. haha

UNFORTUNATELY, i'm supposed to hand in my NYP CCA record. which i have absolutely none to speak of. except the occassion rubdowns. SIGH

why o' why do i not have a CCA?
my life is rather boring after all, isn't it?
and it's not like my grades are that fantastic with the absence of a CCA.
screwd. i dunno.
why can't she check before putting our names down?
will i be disappointed?

maybe. not.

I AM GG TO SYDNEY ANYWAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA....
looking on the bright side of life.. tt's me :)

i am given an opportunity to go to HONGKONG for my clinical placement in yr3.
HELLO! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! an overseas placement! i nv thought i will have this chance. this sorta thing doesn't usually happen to mediocre students like me.
opportunity doesn't knock twice.
let me tell you what's gg thru my head.
1. while some are gg HK, there are others who are gg Curtin(but not me cos my grades didn't really make it)
2. i can try to request to go curtin instead.
3. i definitely prefer. WAY WAY WAY prefer to go curtin than HK.
4. i was told HK's placement is an outpatient setting - and i might be gg there during the spinal module, BUT i may not be getting spine cases THROUGHOUT (or rather, it's not certain how many spine cases i will even see). this worries me. i'm really looking forward to doing well in my spinal module.
5. cost of living and expenses is way cheaper in HK then curtin, duh!
6. if there's a chance, i wana work in aussie in the future. NOT HK. so why waste my time?
7. not a good canto speaker to begin with.
8. i'm not that well off.
9. it is such a waste to give up this chance becos it will be given to someone else! i've worked so hard for this!(not THIS THIS. but yea.) i deserve this.
10. if i do get accepted to curtin's placement, wld it be like a 'waste', considering i'm gonna go there for my overseas degree conversion ANYWAY. get wat i mean?
11. i am already gg aussie in april. do i really want to go there again? (YES. OF COURSE!) juz tt no money.
12. if rite now, i am given the scholarship to do my degree conversion, i wld have no qualms(nor money woes) abt applying for the curtin placement immediately.

yea. i will be stupid to give this (hk) up. i'm always that sort of person not to try out things (becos of the cash, or rather, the lack of it)
i have 2 days to decide. wth?!
i have also <2 days to finish my inservice!

life is good. but it can be better.

OOOOOOHHH! SSSSOOO EXCITTTIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
only ONE more wk left in clinicals! fridays have become my favourite day of the wk!
and then it's HOLIDAYS!
and then it's - SYDNEY! HERE I COME!
and in the midst of it, *hopefully* i get to SKYDIVE!!! HOLY COOOOW!
*SCREAMS IN EXCITEMENT*
WOOOOHOOOO!

on the other hand. prays tt my grades are dun sux as much as i think it wld. and i really hope to have a shot at the scholarship. tyvm.

my 21st birthday present
i've thought of it. this. is. it.


SKYDIVE the Beach Sydney ------ DARE TO TAKE THE JUMP
so... now u guys will know where ur hongbaos goes to!
:D
i can't wait!

check it out - http://www.skydivethebeach.com.au/content/view/36/64/

what a pleasant surprise

as i was daydreaming while walking towards e salon, this guy walked past me. guess who? it's a AM! omgod. new neighbour? where did he pop out from?!?! it's a rare sight to see him in my neighbourhood. he walked towards to coffee shop and went to order a western meal.
wat a pleasant surprise. if only there were more of him in my neighbourhood. haha. didn't see his face at first...

well, after i trimmed my fringe, i walked back home, and there he was. juz abt to sit down with his drink. *EYE CONTACT*! :D
it's such a one-off thing. but i juz had to mention it cos well, i'm me. tt's how excited i can get when i see one of them. HAHAHAHA.

no, i'm not a SPG. NO. i'm not.
i'm juz easily "aroused" at the sight of them. hahaha. can't wait for sydney!

LEFT 3 more wks of clinicals! YAY :D
however, i really dunno how nuh's CE will grade me.. cos i really dunno where i stand at. i hope i will 'learn more & do better' at st.andrews. seems like life is good over there! :D

so excited abt the trip to sydney! u noe like once in a while, my thoughts will be on sydney, and then i'll juz like grin from ear to ear and juz scream a little cos i'm sooooo looking forward to it. i can't believe it's really gonna happen. in like less than 1.5 mths! :D:D:D:D:D

on the other hand, i juz found out that results will be released in 2pluswks time on mar17. so.... i'll get the sms update, but i'll prob be on my way to st. andrews by then. hmm..it was a very short semester- tt i wld say, wasn't really a good one overall. didn't do as well as i shld have for a couple of pract tests.. but hopefully, i shld do well enuf not to be in the position of taking supp. I HAVE FAITH IN MYSELF.. I THINK?.

gotta go into the operating theatre tmr! :S
dun worry, i'm not the one getting operated.
juz sitting in(or rather standing in) to watch. hope it's not too bloody. hope it's not too long, and sure hope i can ta-han it!

sighs. i can't seem to get myself to do the work that i need to do and the stupid eval form tt i have to submit tmr. so frustrating!
i wana think that tmr(next wk) will be a better week, but when that CE's face appear in my head, the bubble burst :S oh man.
actually it's partly our fault i guess, or issit the teacher's fault? shld have edited the contract learning. ARGH.

4more wks! actually it's only 1wk2days more at nuh! yiippee! hopefully st andrews will be kinder to us, even tho the distance is super far.

jia you to myself and all!

and thanks surong for the lovely food and wii! i regret not eating more! HAHAHAHA

thank god first wk is gone. and i was 10min late today,(dunno why i'm usually late on fri.) though the CE probably didn't realise it. *hopefully*
mornings are fine, gg round the wards. had done suctioning 2x on the same lady. erm. i dunno how to describe it. "pt tolerated well???!!!" ok, not exactly. but it's tough for the pt. sigh.
afternoons are not so fine. it's kinda unfair to be graded on neuro stuff when it's clearly NOT supposed to be neuro stuff. gimme some TKR/THR post op leh! i dun want neuro! i mean, it's good to learn, definitely make more sense and is gd practice with real patients, but to be graded on it is juz unfair! ARGH

next wk shld be better i suppose.

tmr is the start of the inpatient attachment.
not fully prepared. REALLY. slacking at home, taking countless naps, flipping thru channels on tv, even picking up juggling!!! haha, shall work on the juggling when i'm free-er
i dunno what to expect tmr. maybe tat's why i'm being complacent right now. cos so far, all my CEs have been nice on the first day. ha. hopefully i dun get shoot down tmr.
first impression counts, but will not be graded. noted.
so, i'll juz do my best in my last min revision rite now, and hopefully, i'll learn more along the way IN the hospital.
no stress no stress. 5 wks will breeze thru. i can do this.
becos i believe that in the end, everything will turn out fine. *quotes jac for the thousandth time :D

I AM GOING TO SYDNEY. no joke.

i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney
i am gg to sydney

confirmed. guarenteed. plus chop. and stamped.

yes everybody. i am gg to australia. sydney.
no joke k.
my mum has booked the flight.

departing on 9th april at 09:25

returning to singapore only after my 21st bday. how cool is tt? i'm arriving back on the 16th at 9plus. hehe.

ooh so exciting!

hope u guys haven't thrown away the ang bao packets u've got! *hints hints*

and nothing is stopping me.

*prays hard tt everything goes smoothly*

juz real like blogging abt stuff..
been slacking a lot. watching mtv-thecity and jon&kateplus8! love the gosselins! the sextuplets are soooo cute! but i still got a little prob telling who's who..

unfortunately. i'm have not booked my flight. i have a bad feeling abt it. it's not really procrastinating. it's more of uncertainty on so many levels. where am i gonna stay? i dun wana stay alone! how am i gonna get ard places? do i have enuf money?? :(( why am i gg this yr when i'll prob go there next yr? tt's like. argh.

on the other hand. it'll be cool to do something big like this for my 21st. something different. special. unique.
ps. there is something awkward i find abt the bday parties. i dunno. guess its the cliquish-effects.

anyways. i do really feel like shopping. online. vivo. orchard.
f21 red leather clutch.
pretty dresses which i have no occasion to wear to. haha.
and i hate the fact tt i need to buy concession. 52 bucks. plus plus plus for the train rides. argh. stupid transport.

aussie.... still thinking of aussieeeee...
thinking of sydney. then gold coast.
thinking of "free" accommodation at jie's.
thinking of gg to places with jie and cheryl
thinking of spending my 21st there..

thinking.. no action yet. cos of all the uncertainties....

ANYWAY. i had a great time housevisiting! i definitely think that we cld have completed all the houses if we had better time management. and best is with a car.
loved surong's dog/puppy (i have this thing for calling small dogs puppy. cos of the size). it's like a baby!!! i'm looking forward to having my babies and a puppy/dog(s) in future! :D haha

sigh. aussie aussie.

ok, in view of ALL THE 21st birthday parties that i have to attend, cards that i need to make and presents that i have to buy, i've decided to come up with a list of birthday wishes-of which i only expect, yes, EXPECT, 2 out of all to be fulfilled.
1. ticket to sydney. so, only HONGBAOS.
2. personalised stuff-cards etc.

the rest are juz for fun :)
3. f21 purse
4. f21 faux snakeskin clutch
5. lasenza bras & undies (in need of new ones!)
6. espirit leather watch that someone is getting soon.. GOSH, I'M SO IN LOVE WITH IT!
7. espirit jackets/coats. too bad they're un-wearable in sg
8. chelsea jersey
9. hair curling iron. yea, it's abt time i experience some curls in my hair
10.running shoes, cos i dun wana run in my tennis shoes.
11.pair of spectacles
12.ipod. cos everyone has it. haha. i'm such a follower.
13.coach wristlet? is that it? well, cos it's juz so expansive. HAHA
14.laptop. though it's unnecessary and a waste of space at the moment.
15.big tote bags. the expansive&BRANDED kind. juz for the sake. HAHA
16.tote bags. the not so expansive&branded kind. there can never be ENOUGH BAGS
17.bikinis. cos they juz look so pretty(not on me la. juz saying)
18.heels from ALDO! gorgeous.
19.sunglasses
20.manicure and pedicure. juz so i can end on point20.

i shall display and edit this in the mths to come and repost it again juz to remind everyone abt it. do take note once again, i only want no.1 and no.2 on the list.
unless u've given me those and still got some extra cash to spare, then i wouldn't mind anything from 3 to 20 :D
oh man. i really wana go aussie! please gimme my hongbaos by mid march alrite!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hmm. i juz told my mum tt i wana go aussie this april. she didn't exactly reply me, juz went on muttering abt the fact on where i'm gonna get the money.

anyway,i'm looking forward to the end of the 3 exam papers. i hope to book my flight (using money from god knows where cos i still dunno yet) by early feb.

i muz get back to studying man! i'm soo not focused this time round. pls let the next 3 days be super productive!

placements out..yet again.
i'll be at NUH for the first 2wkks&2days, then the remaining period will be spent at st.andrews comm hosp. IF ONLY ST ANDNREW"S COMMUNITY HOSP WAS PART OF THE SAV. (then i can rely on NEL) HAHA.
have to plan wake up time and travelling route. *yawns*
good news is i'll be able to meet with the nus ppls after work! i hope!!!

gotta buck up on my hokkien man.

le ho bo?

EVERYBODY
JOYCE WANTS A AIR TICKET TO SYDNEY for her 21st BIRTHDAY

i'm serious. ok, i noe it's super ex. tt's why i dun mind HONGBAOS. contribute a little here and there.. and hopefully it'll add up to it, plus my own lifetime savings la. haha
SO. no need to think so hard for what to get me! :)
i've been dying to go there since forever. like seriously, i've always been 'planning' to go there, but juz nv ever made it.

please make my dream come true.
i'm even sacrificing the thought of gg to gold coast u noe.

pretty please!

hello 2009!
my 'resolutions' for the new year:
1. exercise more. i learnt so much abt exercise prescription but i'm juz not applying them! and in 4 mths time, i gotta take napfa. damn it man i better pass!
2. save more, spend less.
3. go to australia?!?! and therefore i have to achieve no.2 first.
4. improve, if not maintain my gpa.
5. start acting like a 21yrold OLD-dult. haha

giving thanks

ok, as the holiday season is here, and so is the ending of 2008, i shall be giving thanks to a list of all my blessings.
1. my family. (well, duh. no matter how often my mum scolds me for being lazy and how often my lil bro calls me BABOSENG)
2. my friends.
a) ntmb pals (aiping, simin, xinyi, yihui, shiying, woeilin, lihua & desiree!!)
b) s55 clique (limjie, surong, mel, sheena, angie, amanda, shuwei, eve, cheryl, wenmin)
c) nyp ppls
for those who cared for me, thank you.
3. surviving school - lessons, pract, tests & dreadful exams. i muz learn to give more credit to myself for all the hardwork that i put in.
4. surviving clinicals CE2B. thanks to my 2 CEs, and all the understanding patients who gave me a chance to practice on them
5. food, clothes & shelter. well, thanks mum.

anything significant that took place this year? hmm...
all the birthdays! haha. friends are significant, hence so are their bdays :D
all the gatherings! haha. friends are significant, hence so are the gatherings :D
(waraku-amanda, sushi tei-angie,the manhattan fish market-su, me&lihua?, nydc+canele-eve&sw, shokudu, timbre-qing, 2 more jap restaurant - mel, sheena, sw, sentosa pinic-sy&xy and lots more which i can't rmb!)
F1. that was cool.
Sunway Lagoon (my first getaway without the folks)
talking to mr.p. highlight of the year la. hands down man! (for more info, pls refer to prev post. haha)

my final encounter

life is good. but it can be better.

good day folks! it was a good day after all. my 'best day' out of the whole placement. the happiest day was the friday b4 attachments start. and i'm glad to say i ended the 5wks with a slight bang too!

ok. first of all, last nite,N gave me the idea to speak to mr.p. which was a really good idea.last day and all. juz go for it man! so i seeked help from S as to what to say la. cos u noe, i'm not the pro at this sorta things. by 1am, i learnt what i was to say and even requested for cookies to go along with the whole stunt tt i was abt to pull today.

the next day, i shared my plan. which unfortunately wasn't fully supported by my pals. but a fren did give another suggestion which seemed more feasible and more suitable in my case. so i waited for the opportunity to come. what i'm abt to do was: to speak to mr.p. give him the cookies and say merry xmas. and maybe add in the "i think u'll cute and i looked forward to seeing u everyday." line.

so for the plan to be excuted right, it has to be done alone. alone like me without my frens, and him without his colleages. i missed one chance right b4 noon cos he turns out to be walking behind us! but tt wld have been awkward cos his TA juz came out of the room and i was with a fren.

during lunch i was like frustrated, annoyed, hum(4) & totally wanted to give up the whole idea of approaching him. AFTER ALL HE IS ATTACHED! so what's the point right?!!

came back from lunch. and to be honest, i was hanging outside the clinic (walking in and out) all day long awaiting him to come out from the room. then after the like hundredth time of walking out, i saw him! he was with his 2 colleages coming in from outside the clinic and he had dropped this soft ball(like really soft) which rolled towards me. (mr.p said smthg like throw it back?!?!, i can't rmb man)so i picked up and threw it back. I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY THROWING cos it HIT THE WALL! *faints* so it bounced off the wall and he had to bend and picked it.
me: oops. sorry!
mr.p: it's ok(or issit it's alrite), i'll forgive u this one time
yes he said that. so hooray! no i didn't give the cookies. he wasn't alone and i didn't have my cookies with me!

THEN! after 2 patients and 3 hrs and some talking. i went back and forth to stand outside the clinic to hopefully catch a glimpse of him. gosh if there was a camera, i think the guard will be like super annoyed lah! anyway. after for like the gazillionth time!, i finally saw him walking towards to gents next to the PT clinic. then IMMED i turned ard and went back in the get my cookies!!!!! HURRAY! haha. so the other ppls were still talking, i juz hurried out and this was how it went

me: heyyy! (cos his back was facing me when i came out of the clinic)
mr,p: turns ard, stops and stare.
me: [this is really vague to me. i seriously cannot recall much!!! but it's smthg liddat this i think] today is our last day here, so my friends and i made some cookies, and ... "something abt me giving it to him la"
me: merry christmas? (really cannot recall!)
mr.p: thanks. merry christmas (to u too?)
me: erm, what's ur name?
mr.p: robert
me: i'm joyce
mr.p: *sticks out hand* and i shaked it.
me: [vaguely recalls. i honestly can't rmb. but i RMB CLEARLY that later on, i said THANKS. then i went like, "eh, why did i say thanks?" anyway, merry christmas!]
mr.p: *smiles alot*
and then we walked back to our resp rooms


YUP. so it went smthg along this line. erm. i am very ashamed to mention that i even said out the "thanks. and eh, why am i saying thanks?" TO HIM. amateurs are like this. it's probably the most embarrassing thing. i hope he doesn't think too much into it.
ya. it really went quite vague. it seemed like i blocked out wat he said except for his name. like. honestly man. i did have some eye contact with him i think. haha.

so ppls. now's the time to applause for yours truly for the ultimate brave move of the month!

anyway. juz to prove that i'm not making this whole crap up- after we left the clinic to go change at the staff toilet, we walked past mr.p who was chatting with the OT clerks. and i tried not to look at him, but i did glance up and he saw me, and he said "thanks for the cookies again". by the time i had walked past this wall, so i cld only say 'u're welcome' really loudly for him to hear.

yea. cool day huh. after all that past few posts abt how i've had a crush on him. wanting to make a move. and then later on finding out he's attached. and yet last day, i managed to pull off something 'crazy' tt i've been DYING to do since YEAR ONE! i'm so proud of myself man. it's not becos it's mr.p. but more like, i actually could do smthg like this! of course, i plan to do better in future. HAHA. ya, FUTURE. like future hot potential guys!

*sighs in happiness*

on a side note: the more i think abt it, the more it feels like everything juz wasn't as smooth as it was supposed to be. oh gosh. pls let me forget everything tt has happened. i dun wana think abt my embarrassing moment with him!

a busy week begins as of tmr.
tmr will be a better day. a brand new day, brand new week :D
even though i'll be having 5 patients and being assessed by freda.
*smiles awkwardly*

i'm so looking forward to the weekend already!
sleepover/suntanning at jie's + susu's dance concert + pinic with ntmb pals!

juz another one of those days where u wish u weren't born

today was really bad.
had 2 patients in the morning.
realised my documentation is really poor.
and she even mentioned smthg like 'how arh, gg to have to fail u'
i was like. right. it's all my fault anyways. shld have done a better job back then.

then later the foundation was exposed. right. my fault again.

back from lunch. apparently we blocked the way for the 2Ps who probably joined the fb grp of: i secretly wish i cld punch the slow walking ppls in front of me.
guess it's my fault again. or not. maybe not. nah. wateva.

dealed with a kid in the afternoon. held him back and hence he was late for the OT's appointment. so late tt even after we left, the OTs and his family had to stay back for the treatment. truly my fault. tho they did fail to mention they had another appt.

then. somebody JUST HAD TO INFORM ME TT one of the staff, or 2, had made the comment tt i looked pregnant. like what the fuck. do u know how extremely hurting it is to hear a comment like that? i didn't make it that obvious tho i did kinda complained and all. but i am truly affected by it. truth is, i have grown up all my life being noted (and extremely self conscioused abt) tt i had a long neck(like a giraffe), a long face and super high forehead, disproportionate body, short legs, protruding ass and walking like a duck(mum). and then today for the fucking first time in my life, somebody juz HAD TO INFORM ME TT I LOOK PREGNANT too. like, thanks for self-esteem boost. thanks so fucking much. and whose fault issit? the one who made the comment? the one who told me someone had made the comment? my parents for giving me these genes? the way i was brought up with no correction of my posture? or was it my fault again?
my fucking fault for being born the way i am.

i'm speechless man. my self-esteem has juz hit another rock bottom low. lower than it ever has been.

today, it was one of those days which i wished i wasn't born the way i am.or maybe. i shouldn't be born at all.

dun fucking tell me how i shld be thankful tt all my limbs are still intact, and i shld be grateful for it. tell that to those *&^$%@#*& out there who even made the comment out loud. i can't help if they THINK tt way. but seriously. to say it out? thanks for ruining the rest of my placements.

i can't exactly ignore these comments. it's already said. i've already heard it. nothing's gonna change. i can pretend and say i'm not thinking abt it. but really, if someone said smthg so hurting like this, do u really think u can juz get over with it?

do u know how hurting it is for a plus-size lady to be offered a seat becos the person who offered it thought she was pregnant? tt's how i feel.

now we all know why joyce have had such low self-esteem for the past 20years

20, single and pregnant.
any takers?

tanned, brown, fury ~ kinda curlyhair-like, super cute, & in scrubs (pants missing! oops!)

resembles someone?
:D


life IS good. but it can better ;)

everybody. mr.p is attached.
i dunno if i still wana take a pic with him on the last day. haha

but erm. yea. he's exactly the kinda average american dude who likes to have his fair share of fun and being crazy. the kinda guy tt i secretly fancy gg out with. i found his facebook profile. and dunno why ah, the moment i saw tt it wrote 'listed in a relationship', he didn't seem as good looking in his hundres of photos anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OK, laugh at me ppls!
ok la, he's still quite good looking. maybe not as much as in his pictures.

so, no need for whateva hassles in the future. no more extra toilet breaks. no more thinking and planning and taking a risk blah blah talk. haha. he's a happy chap. i dunno if he's the kind of guy tt i'll go out with. most probably not(based on pictures)

okies dokies. now. what will make me look forward to gg to sgh? no more mr.p to go crazy over. i mean, ok, i can still smile and be nice. but yea. it's kinda pointless in a way.

fyi. i'm not like totally crushed and sobbing my heart out. juz kinda stoned abt it. haha. like. sian. ok. moving on. deep inside, i kinda knew tt nothing gd was cmg out of it even tho another part of me was praying so hard!
soooo... after all. it is juz a SUPERFICIAL CRUSH.

really. i'm like. i dun even know whether to be happy or sad right now.

before wk3 even begun- i'm out of love.

2wks of clinicals done.
this week has been.. productive i supposed. i still feel like my S/E is not there yet.. with all the repeating of questions, and double/triple checking of ans. O/E-wise, eh. still NOT THERE YET. cos sometimes, my sense of feel and touch is not very zai. and observation for gait is still juz as bad. the worse thing is, i probably can't link my observation of gait to my O/E :/
anyways, i didn't cry at all this wk. things have somehow became a little 'straightforward' and certain stuff are like - 'standard protocol'. haha. my ce is gonna kill me if she sees this. but i do know wat i'm doing la.
i've even discharge a pt! on her 2nd visit! :D the pain may still be there.but the impt thing is to get them to strengthen the remaining ms and continue to be active :)

clinicals aside. my dear mr.p
sigh. first wk was love struck. 2nd wk was love stuck. haha. wateva tt means.
3rd wk will be a better wk!! BE BRAVE JOYCE! TAKE A RISK!

call me crazy. haha.

it's abt time man.

it's quite tiring to cry after every single patient u noe that. and thank god i manage to control it in front of my CE. wldn't wana let her know tt i'm so weak.
sigh. i wish there were more 'perfect' patients. but then again. even if the right ones came along, i wldn't have know what to do.

learn tt i have to deal with pain. not mine. but the patient's pain. some ppls are juz overreacting way more la

tmr is wkly eval day. think i'm gonna fail it. at least for this wk.
unless, my 2 patients are 'simple cases' tt i can easily diagnose or smthg

ANYWAY. the fantastic news is.
mr.p smiled at moi today :))) was walking back from the toilet and hopin tt the door of the podiatry room will open. and then juz as i walk past this other room, he suddenly appeared! he turned ard and gave me a smile. well. it was like a simultaneous thing when we smiled at each other. SO HAPPY PLS! ya. tt was before i saw my pt la. i was in such a bad state after my case tt i'd rather not see him.

hope i can deal with my 2 patients without breaking down again. i got to learn faster. think faster! and probe further! and i shall not be defeated or 'slaps my forehead in exaperation IN FRONT OF THE PATIENT'

i can do this. i can. i know i can.

i will.

well, i had my first patient today. old lady with frozen shld
hmmm.. did my subj.. but realised i cldn't catch a lot of stuff.. esp those tt my CE asked.. like i totally zoned out and focused on what i have to ask later. sux man.
then after that, supposed to plan wat obj to do.. ok.. but still abit blur and stuff
and treatment.. was ok..
had to get a lot of prompting from the CE cos i was clueless when it came to clinical reasoning. i JUST KNOW SHE HAS TO DO THIS AND THIS. the EXACT reason. not too sure :/

well. i was the only one who had a pt today, the other 2 will be having theirs tmr.. and i dunno if i will want to have one tmr.. haha. can be a really good learning experience la. but i feel incompetent. for the time being :(

seeing mr.p at least twice a day is good:) wish i cld see more of him!
gosh i wonder why they work such long hours! AM usually practice as privates-work less, earn more.
oh wells. who cares. i get to see more of him!

okok. now's the time to recap and do up my hw and stuff. tmr will be a better day!

ha. damn happy. ok. maybe not as super high as i was 2 hrs ago.. but still quite happy la :)

went down to sgh to see our CE juz now, and guess who i saw?!?!?! MR PODIATRY!!! OH MY TIAN! from FAR. abit FAR, i saw these 2 tall built guys, and immediately, i knew it was THEM. the podiatrists! or at least i still think they are since they use 'that room'. hahaha. anyway, we walked PAST THEM :))) and yup, stupid me nv had any eye contact with mr.blondie cos i was too happy and struggling to control my gleefulness(i dun think there's such a word.but.) yup. happy me :)

CE turns out to be pretty nice. so, i hope everything will be fine :)))

mr.podiatry, here i come! WOOHOO!

toughen up joyce!

i was taken aback when he told me smthg in the email. i guess he was right. i sorta came to the realisation, that i have no life. i only have school. my so-called life revolves ard sch&stress. and it sux.

anyway, on the way to dinner in the car, i sorta teared up.. but managed to fight back all the tears and prevented a breakdown in front of my unaware parents.
there's no exams cmg up. but clinicals, UL Ax & Rx, giving instructions, and all these are juz bothering me a lot. not to mention-my future.

i really hope i can pull through all these.. i've came such a long way. and i dun wana give it all up. i juz really hope i know what i'm doing. i hope i'm doing the right thing.

everything is gg to juz get tougher. will it get any easier? seeing the yr3s, they seem to know it all. will i get to that stage?

now's the time to be strong... crying is only of a temporary relief. after all the crying, it's back to reality.

i wish there was more to life than sch. i wish i cld be doing more things, having more fun. i wish i have other commitments other than sch. i wish i was studying in australia from yr1. i think i'd have a better chance succeeding with the pace gg slower. i wish i had a life tt actually feels like one.

i wish. life was easier. on me.

placements out. i am at sgh. AGAIN. at outpatient clinic. AGAIN.

my heart sunk when i saw my name there. along with the other 2 names.
unfortunately,i felt like half MY battle was lost already juz becos of who they were vs who i am. (get a grip joyce!)
the good thing however. is that it's near my hse. and i won't feel lost on the first few days in the clinic, or ard the hospital. haha. food court and delifrance!

but still.. sigh.

quoted from jac
"i believe that in the end, everything will turn out fine"

i juz gotta have a little faith in who i am, and what i can achieve.

not to mention. the possibility of meeting yet another cute and hot angmoh PODIATRIST! AHAHAHAHAHA

maybe it's a relieve? somewhat a relieve.
or maybe i'll regret in the years to come.

for now, it's good. i think.
thanks des, for everything :)


and now, i look forward to the day of the arrival.

i was a student model for MS today, question on neck :S
so there were 12 PTs who came in, every 20min, answered some questions, and then did some assessments on my neck..
the most outstanding. besides the fact tt he's a caucasian, is the tt he's the only one who adjusted the plinth and placed a pillow under my feet! OMG! hahahaha.. i didn't expect the pillow thing.. and ya, he was also the only one who said back in his country, they will get the pt to take off the shirt. haha. of course aud said it wasn't necessary..
something 'lame' took place at the end of everything at 5pm. and... i managed to talk to that caucasian on our way to the station. HE IS
german. married. 16mth old daughter. smokes. wife is a private PT. stays at bishan condo. was at F1, been here got 6wks.
ahahahahaha..

kk.. overall was a good experience.. i wldn't mind gg again, esp if there were more hot caucasians. AHAHAHAHA. crazy me.

now tt i know wat those PTs need to know, perhaps its a better decision to take those registration exams right after i grad in order to work at aussie. HAHA. tt's juz a thought anyway.

i dread monday.

sunway lagoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is too long. let me keep it short

biggest disappointment: parks were closed on tuesday. god. had to settle for genting
best thing: the company-qing tricia peigin su. thank u all so much for everything. esp when i was unwell during the trip to and from and at genting. so so so sorry tt we didn't get to take flying coaster. i think it's partly my fault :(

yup :) other than that. i'm proud to say tt i've gone to malaysia without the folks, and came back the exact way i left.

i wonder if there's any way to cure motion sickness. hmm...

i will be away for 3 days 2 nights...
to... SUNWAY LAGOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOORAY! like finally!!! i'm getting out of singapore! without my folks!
YIIIPPPEEEEE...

of course i wished it was to gold coast instead.. but.. oh wells...

everyone pls pray tt i go there in one piece and come back the same!
:D
happy mood

had sleepover at kiyoko's hse! with jac & caryn(who was late as usual. haha)
played mahjong. and surprise surprise! i was the biggest winner! PING HU. haha. i'll rmb that! and thanks jac for all the feedings!!!
watched the chelsea vs some romanian club match. super boring.... and yea, i was dozing off at half time already... in the end it was nil draw. sian. they better score when they go back to the bridge..

my mind is thinking abt median nerve. yes. MEDIAN NERVE. sounds abit distant and off as i typed it out.. but yea.. i wish i can start doing some sort of revision but i dun think it's possible.......

hope the sunway lagoon trip works out!

i have a dream
a song to sing
to help me cope
with anything

i'm having trouble with leaving comments on other lj blogshop. and it frustrates me alot becos i really like the stuff tt i'm seeing, and i really wana buy them but the buyer will nv noe. and they dun seem to be replying to my email either. that's worse.
now, i can only trouble my fren to help me buy. i hope this sorts out soon. otherwise, i gotta start on my quit-onlineshoppingaddiction program. which is probably good for me and my wallet.

what defines the right guy?
looks? money? personality? character? persistency-irritability? LOL
can the lack of one trait be covered up by the rest?
how confusing, isn't it?

anyway. f1 done. super fast. super fun.ok not tt fun la. except the parts where we were soo clueless wat to do during our super long break!!!! HAHAHAHA. alonso won. wat a turn of events... who wld have thought?

hmmm.... wonder if my shirt will ever come thru.. will the buyers reply my emails for those dresses? oh maybe i shld take it as a sign tt i should stop all this money wasting activity.

hope to get some decent cash from selling my new Alevel books later at bras brasah!!

F1- first day. BORING. super disorganized. i probably only work 30min out of the 10am to 6pm shift. seriously.
cos there were SO MANY of us, we rotated among each other to shop jalan and to work.
before my fren n i were on our way to tap out, these 2 italian MEN approached us.. started talking. then one guy said he actually wanted to BRING US IN TO WATCH THE RACE. LOL. hello! read our tees- ticketing! we dun need tix to go in!!! hahaha.. those dirty men.. he said it quite clearly tt he was looking for singapore girls to go watch the race tog.. aiyo.. they have approached the wrong ppls! haha. (but i'm flattered.) in that ugly shirt and pants i was wearing, they still wanted to ask moi? but they, or rather the man i was chatting was very nice. haha. if he was younger and hotter, i'd have said yes immediately!!! LOL. interesting.
ohohoh! muz mention this. angmohs GALORE. yiipppeee.. hahahaha *grinning from ear to ear*

and for those who are wondering why i was sooo selfish not to share my nachos on the day of mama mia - i had a bad encounter once. 4 of us went to watch a movie, we shared the nachos and popcorn. so initially i was holding on to the nachos, then i offered to the other 2 at the othe end. then AFTER A WHILE. i juz asked them to pass, and OMG! only crumbs left!! CAN U IMAGINE MY HORROR! my favourite nachos!!!! i was soooooo pissed, lucky i didn't pay much for it, cos there was a discounted price. but still, u can imagine how mad and upset i was not to be able to eat much of my FAVOURIT NACHOS & CHEESE (FROM GV PLAZA SOMEMORE!) so there's the story. i'll never forget that and i will NEVER LET THE NACHOS LEAVE MY SIGHT! esp not when there's NINE OTHER PPLS! fyi, i offered to ap(who declined) and i did let yh have some as requested. ok! so next time ah! buy ur own nachos!!!! I AM NOT SHARING MY NACHOS!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

MAMMA MIA!!!
with 9 other bandmates!!! OMGOSH!! how fantastic tt everyone cld make it.. and i muz say.. everyone loved the movie rite?!!!! it is really way way way nicer than i thought it wld be. anyone from band shld catch it. anyone who enjoyed HSM and hairspray shld catch it. anyone who loves abba shld catch it. anyone who loves to sing shld catch. anyone who's anyone at all shld catch it!!!!

and.. oh god. the GV nachos!!! fantastic! u see, the key abt eating nachos during the movies is to actually eat it BEFORE the movie start. or immediately when u sit in the cinema. cos the cheese is the nicest when it's the warmest!!! and so. that's why i'm abt to have a terrible sorethroat. damn.

online browsing forever. everyday, everytime i go online. sadly nothing appeals to me...

F1 cmg up. hope my menses doesn't affect me, better still, wait until after sun6pm then start k.

and i'm so happy someone finally bought that top which i didn't like!!! but i discovered a yellow stain after confirmation. totally not my fault, i had no idea where the stain came from. too bad i guess. sorry buyer. really didn't see it until last nite. and after all, she's buying it at less than 6 of the original price. can't expect to be that perfect rite. haha. i'm so evil.