Monday, December 27, 2004

VERY UPSET

i read someone's profile juz now... i'm not sure whether i shld call her my good friend cos i dun think she treats me as one... Maybe cos i drifted away from them ...but i always see them as my good bunch of friends... and i did try to hang out with them as much as possible... It's juz a status thingy... she din wrote it down... I'm really upset... But good thing is, i won't be seeing her for the next 3 mths... and hopefully for the rest of my life... Not that i hate her to the core.. it's juz a huge disappointment to me... thing is, i'm so bothered by the fact that i hope i won't have to see her again...

... She probably feels that i have left them for another grp of friends.. it's not true lor... it's juz that i am always the 'blur one and the dun out often with them' person.. i nv knew who or wat they were toking about... maybe it's my fault that i dun initiat and ask them... but i always felt like an outcast...

... i spent more time with sy they all in sec3 &4 cos we take the same bus home and we can tok and understand each other better... But then i suppose the 2 yrs of frienship back in sec 1and 2 were not memorable enuf for u to call me ur gd friend...

maybe wat i'm saying sounds chilidish.. i dunno... it's juz that - everyone else was listed.. everone, except me...
i juz wanna let u noe, u've always been one of my good friends ....

Saturday, December 25, 2004

christmas

yesterday was christmas eve. yihui and i went to orchard at 3pm...wrong decision... it was very crowded.. i decided on the place cos we wanted to go visit thiam, lihua and sy... As usual, the first thing i did was to donate money... The people are really smart... toking about sharing and giving... then we continue to wok.. met abigail... so perhaps we'll meet qing and hanqin too... Along the streets, yh got approached by another person asking for donation.. she was so 'juz donate to make my job easier' and she managed to get yh to fork out $2... U noe, it's not that we dun want to donate... but our pockets are really tight... and we're students only... go approach those working ppls lah.. OKay, i noe i shound selfish.. but u noe wat i mean.. besides she was so rude... juz looking at her face makes me angry...
we went to lucky plaza.. went to the lai sporting shop.. i saw a nike shirt, very nice. $30... (ps: my bdae is on 15th of april... hehe) then, we were discussing about next yr... cos both of us are so into tennis, we might spent alot juz buying sports apparrel... and yes, both od us are brand conscious... so, it's gonna be an expensive yr for us...
then we went to look for lihua, she was still so small, wearing a oversized blazer with a button missing... i looked at the watches... not that i dun wanna buy, but they're are really not my kind... maybe when i grow up to be a tai tai... we'll see... Later, we walked towards heeren... outside the building, we met the PPLS again.. different grp lah... this BIG girl approached us, she stood rite infront , but yet in the middle of us... we were like 'wat? again?' so we tried to escape, i went one way, and yihui went the other...unfortunately for yh, when the girl saw us leaving, she stepped in front of yh and said in mandarin ' dun liddat leh' ... i was relieved i wasn't in that position, i stood like 3 metres infront of yihui, and mouthed 'sorry'.. Not sorry to yh, but to ask yh to apologise and quicky leave... Maybe the girl saw that yh was more easy to deal with....so she kinda got stucked there for about 5 min... I juz stood at my position... the girl's friends saw me but none of them approached me... Somehow, yh got away from her, but unfortunately for her again, one of the girls' friend stepped forward and blocked yh's path... I was like 'wat the hell? juz leave her alone lah' okay, i din really say that cos that bunch of ppls looked like ah lians and din really looked like they can be offended... Again, i stood there helpless... but i felt very sorry for yh... after a short while which seems very long, yh got away again... inside the building... both of us were kinda truamatized.... yh was in a more terrible state of course... i apologoised to her, after realising that i made a huge mistake of not coming to her rescue... But then i can't really be blamed... cos i wouldn't be able to do much either... but still it's my fault. sorry girl!
Then we walked around... alot of ppls... wanted to buy some ear stuts but the crowd was my enemy... haix...
We went to see woei lin who was selling the same brand of watch...
Nothing much after that.. went back and forth, met sy... tok to her... went around to look for farewell presents... almost done... left a few ppls... Actually, i quite sad for sy.. cos she's like alone when she goes to jjc... most of our clique got into sa... hopefully, all of us will be in sa after O's result is out...

today, went to malacca... spent about 6 -8 hours on the car.. sit until butt very painful... we din really do much... went to this shopping centre, ate chicken rice.. then walk alittle... and left soon after that becos my bro had an appointment with his friends.... well, not my exact idea of christmas... but at least i'm not alone... Merry christmas!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

should i? should i not?

i juz finish the las tennis lesson today... i'm so glad i dun have to do the warmups anymore... But i do miss the training part... the forehand, backhand.. NOT the serve though.. i still sucked at it... But i'm quite disappointed about fact that they din really tell us how to make the ball land on the court.. Okay, maybe they did teach us the correct strokes, and if we'd follow it, we'd be able to do so.. but still...
there's another continuation course to this beginner's course.. yihui seems really interested.. me too, but i scared my mum dun allow.. cos it's on a weekday and held in the evening... besides.. i'd probably be dead beat by the time i end sch... Hopefully there won't be much tests or hw to complete...
But i've already spent quite alot of money this hols, racket, course, bus fares(esp to yihui's place).... Aiyah... money problem...
But it would be nice if i could go... improve my skills, so that i'll be able to make it to the tennis team... otherwise, wouldn't it be such a pity that i learn so long, but cannot continue...

Monday, December 20, 2004

omg

okay, qing deliever the rackets to us today... he helped us to paint the W on... unfortunately... the colour kinda spilt onto the frame... which makes it look abit...not so new... but then nvm lah... he say can use non-permanent marker to erase it...
then... yihui told qing that i want to join the tennis team in the school.. i was like.OMG!!!! why did u say that???? i was not yet that angry at her, but more of embarrassed when she told them. yes, them referring to qing and hanqin.... Hanqin is in his sch team... OH my GOODNESS... then qing was like - okay, if u have a goal then u shld work towards it. THEN, yihui mentioned that the team only accepts 15 members. ARGH!!!! how could any one say that???!!!!
okay at that time i was still very embarrassed... maybe i'm abit paranoid, but i tot i could sense that 'tone' when qing said something about me being lucky and so i might be one of the 15 persons... i tot he was being sacrastic.... okay, maybe not... but it's like, we're juz beginners, how can she tell him that i want to join the team when we're still not there yet... i mean, if she wanna tell, at least wait until i'm in the team, or at least tell him on the last lesson which is this coming thursday, so that i won't have to see him again.. oh my, oh my.... talk about being embarrassed... i can't wait for the last lesson to be over
it's like i can imagine what's going thru his, or their minds right then ---- Huh? she this kinda standard how to make it to the team? only eight lessons and she can't even hit the balls within the court.... aiyoh... abit 'bu zhi liang li'
okay, maybe i'm overparanoid... maybe he wishes the best for me... BUT STILL!!!!
by the way, after we left the building i got abit pissed.... yes, with yh... hey, if she had said that BOTH of us wanted to join, the impact wouldn't be so huge on me cos she'll understand how i feel... AIYOH... actually i tot she wanted to sabotage me after the fact that i helped her to ask qing how to remove the stain... but i noe it's not becos of that.. it was like- she din noe... you noe, like both of us have different perspective on certain issues... She thinks that it's okay to tell it to our coach, but i will nv have said it...
the GOOD thing is... the rest of the students weren't there... i'd have been more embarrassed.. THANKS YH.. i'm not mad at u, but embarrassed.. thanks... (yes, i'm being sacarstic)

Saturday, December 18, 2004

tennis rackets

ok, i've done it... i msg qing to purchase the n6 n-code racket for me... the dull black and white racket which i nv liked in the first place... after giving it much consideration, i tot that - i wasn't a gd player yet, and i needed a racket that suits me and the budget of $200... besides, if my skills do get better in the future, it wouldn't be too late to request for a better, nicer-looking and more costly racket from my folks... so, i guess i'll have to settle for this for the time being....
i did really like the babolat pure drive racket, which was used by andy roddick... the colour was definitely my kind... and when i compared the feeling of holding the 2 rackets - n-code and babolat, there wasn't much difference... Until qing told me it was meant for man... fine... then, i decided on the n5 racket, which was red... but qing said it was more competitive... i'm not sure wat he meant by that - issit it's not suitable for me yet or am i not competitive enuf to use it??? fine. then i ask for the n1 racket.. it's $500.... fine. so that juz left the n3 and the n6 rackets. both were the same... but i wasn't sure i like the colour of the n3 racket... and i din really get to use it.. so... i finally decided on the n6 one...
i talked to a friend last nite... asking her about the racket... we aren't really close friends though we were in the same class for 2 yrs... during some parts of the conversation... i kinda felt she was boasting... and irrelevant to wat i was saying... Like first... when she heard i got a coach, she said she was self-taught.... HUH?! what did that mean? she played alone on the court while browsing thru some tennis books? at that pt, i felt like challenging her to a match... it's not that i'm very good, i only attended 6 lessons until this pt, but the way she put it.. it was so!!! anyway, she said her racket - hammer 4 was very expensive..and it is used by the william sisters...WRONG.. i'm nt sure about venus, but serena uses n-code.... BOO!! then, the most exasperating part was... when i told her i'm feeling troubled over the choice of rackets, she said - 'no lah.. i got a free tennis bag" ???!!! huh?! what the hell?! out of nowhere leh...
well, i dun really have a gd impression of her now... maybe it's becos we were chatting on msn... so i can't really feel her tone... but her choice of words juz puzzles me...

in about 2 weeks time, i'll be going to jc... not sure whether i shld take up tennis... not even sure if i would dare to go for the try-outs... by that time, i'd have attended only 8 lessons, meant for beginners.. my shots are still all over the court... and i can't even serve... ohhh... it's so frustrating... i really dun wanna join band... but there's still the pt system thingy... boo....

Thursday, December 16, 2004

sajc

i'm so happy.... found out that i'm enrolled into sajc... for 3 months only though... but then, if i can go there with 13 pts... maybe after Os, i might be still able to make it... i'm glad that some of my friends like yihui, xinyi, jas and cs will be there too... so, hopefully i won't be too lost on the first day... cos i did forgot about the open house... which unfortunately no one reminded me...

well, now that i'm in the sch... i have to worry about the cca... do we have to take part in the cca??? since i've already taken up basics tennis course... i do hope to make it into the tennis club... but then according to their criteria, i should be able to master the fundamentals of the tennis stuff... wateva.. that i'm not so confident... and besides, only 15 get selected... hopefully not everyone is interested in tennis cos it's quite an expensive sport... later today, i'll be going out with yh to window shop for tennis rackets and the shoes... i do hope that i won't juz buy them to play with my friend, but to play as a cca...


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

at the chalet

after tennis lesson #5, yihui and i walked back to my place. wl was supposed to alight at the busstop once she sees the 2nd overhead bridge... she missed it... then when returning, she missed the stop again... it's kinda exasperating....
anyway, my dad drove us to the chalet at east coast park... my lil bro was trying to have a conversation with my 2 friends - no succuess...
at the chalet, some of us decided to go kayaking... actually, is i suggest one cos i din wanna rollerblade first... my partner was yihui.... haix...nv let her sit at the back... her oar ket hitting my hair.. and then my ear (that part was bery painful).... i was quite scared after we set off... we seemed quite far from the shoreline... and then... i got very very slightly seasick again... no big deal.. cos by then, we were heading back... we just kayak for one hour...
after which, yihui, junjie and i went to rollerblade... although i recalled how to blade the day before.. i just couldn't set off... there were slopes where i kept going backwards... but then, by the time we reached the main skating path, i was doing okay... very slow though, compared to the 2 pros.... i managed to cros the hump without landing on my butt... but it stills feel scary...
around 4 plus, we returned to the chalet....i showered, in discomfort cos of that little gap at the door...eeks
Soon, they started starting the fire... some of us blew the ballons for decor...
about an hour later, they started to bbq... i was one of the 'dun wanna do any work and just wait to eat person", so i juz waited patiently...
the food was okay lah.. as usual, there were the burnt ones... the dun look so cooked ones... but i still managed to consume many of the edibles... i looked at the big pack of chicken wings... not that i dun wanna eat... but it's not being bbged... so too bad...
huimin's dad took us home at ard 10pm... i dunno why, but it seems that whenveer i take a taxi, i get some sort of headache... but i'm alright now...
overall, i had a good time... maybe we could do this again... except, we dun bbq, we juz buy the cooked ones...