ok, as the holiday season is here, and so is the ending of 2008, i shall be giving thanks to a list of all my blessings.
1. my family. (well, duh. no matter how often my mum scolds me for being lazy and how often my lil bro calls me BABOSENG)
2. my friends.
a) ntmb pals (aiping, simin, xinyi, yihui, shiying, woeilin, lihua & desiree!!)
b) s55 clique (limjie, surong, mel, sheena, angie, amanda, shuwei, eve, cheryl, wenmin)
c) nyp ppls
for those who cared for me, thank you.
3. surviving school - lessons, pract, tests & dreadful exams. i muz learn to give more credit to myself for all the hardwork that i put in.
4. surviving clinicals CE2B. thanks to my 2 CEs, and all the understanding patients who gave me a chance to practice on them
5. food, clothes & shelter. well, thanks mum.
anything significant that took place this year? hmm...
all the birthdays! haha. friends are significant, hence so are their bdays :D
all the gatherings! haha. friends are significant, hence so are the gatherings :D
(waraku-amanda, sushi tei-angie,the manhattan fish market-su, me&lihua?, nydc+canele-eve&sw, shokudu, timbre-qing, 2 more jap restaurant - mel, sheena, sw, sentosa pinic-sy&xy and lots more which i can't rmb!)
F1. that was cool.
Sunway Lagoon (my first getaway without the folks)
talking to mr.p. highlight of the year la. hands down man! (for more info, pls refer to prev post. haha)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
my final encounter
life is good. but it can be better.
good day folks! it was a good day after all. my 'best day' out of the whole placement. the happiest day was the friday b4 attachments start. and i'm glad to say i ended the 5wks with a slight bang too!
ok. first of all, last nite,N gave me the idea to speak to mr.p. which was a really good idea.last day and all. juz go for it man! so i seeked help from S as to what to say la. cos u noe, i'm not the pro at this sorta things. by 1am, i learnt what i was to say and even requested for cookies to go along with the whole stunt tt i was abt to pull today.
the next day, i shared my plan. which unfortunately wasn't fully supported by my pals. but a fren did give another suggestion which seemed more feasible and more suitable in my case. so i waited for the opportunity to come. what i'm abt to do was: to speak to mr.p. give him the cookies and say merry xmas. and maybe add in the "i think u'll cute and i looked forward to seeing u everyday." line.
so for the plan to be excuted right, it has to be done alone. alone like me without my frens, and him without his colleages. i missed one chance right b4 noon cos he turns out to be walking behind us! but tt wld have been awkward cos his TA juz came out of the room and i was with a fren.
during lunch i was like frustrated, annoyed, hum(4) & totally wanted to give up the whole idea of approaching him. AFTER ALL HE IS ATTACHED! so what's the point right?!!
came back from lunch. and to be honest, i was hanging outside the clinic (walking in and out) all day long awaiting him to come out from the room. then after the like hundredth time of walking out, i saw him! he was with his 2 colleages coming in from outside the clinic and he had dropped this soft ball(like really soft) which rolled towards me. (mr.p said smthg like throw it back?!?!, i can't rmb man)so i picked up and threw it back. I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY THROWING cos it HIT THE WALL! *faints* so it bounced off the wall and he had to bend and picked it.
me: oops. sorry!
mr.p: it's ok(or issit it's alrite), i'll forgive u this one time
yes he said that. so hooray! no i didn't give the cookies. he wasn't alone and i didn't have my cookies with me!
THEN! after 2 patients and 3 hrs and some talking. i went back and forth to stand outside the clinic to hopefully catch a glimpse of him. gosh if there was a camera, i think the guard will be like super annoyed lah! anyway. after for like the gazillionth time!, i finally saw him walking towards to gents next to the PT clinic. then IMMED i turned ard and went back in the get my cookies!!!!! HURRAY! haha. so the other ppls were still talking, i juz hurried out and this was how it went
me: heyyy! (cos his back was facing me when i came out of the clinic)
mr,p: turns ard, stops and stare.
me: [this is really vague to me. i seriously cannot recall much!!! but it's smthg liddat this i think] today is our last day here, so my friends and i made some cookies, and ... "something abt me giving it to him la"
me: merry christmas? (really cannot recall!)
mr.p: thanks. merry christmas (to u too?)
me: erm, what's ur name?
mr.p: robert
me: i'm joyce
mr.p: *sticks out hand* and i shaked it.
me: [vaguely recalls. i honestly can't rmb. but i RMB CLEARLY that later on, i said THANKS. then i went like, "eh, why did i say thanks?" anyway, merry christmas!]
mr.p: *smiles alot*
and then we walked back to our resp rooms
YUP. so it went smthg along this line. erm. i am very ashamed to mention that i even said out the "thanks. and eh, why am i saying thanks?" TO HIM. amateurs are like this. it's probably the most embarrassing thing. i hope he doesn't think too much into it.
ya. it really went quite vague. it seemed like i blocked out wat he said except for his name. like. honestly man. i did have some eye contact with him i think. haha.
so ppls. now's the time to applause for yours truly for the ultimate brave move of the month!
anyway. juz to prove that i'm not making this whole crap up- after we left the clinic to go change at the staff toilet, we walked past mr.p who was chatting with the OT clerks. and i tried not to look at him, but i did glance up and he saw me, and he said "thanks for the cookies again". by the time i had walked past this wall, so i cld only say 'u're welcome' really loudly for him to hear.
yea. cool day huh. after all that past few posts abt how i've had a crush on him. wanting to make a move. and then later on finding out he's attached. and yet last day, i managed to pull off something 'crazy' tt i've been DYING to do since YEAR ONE! i'm so proud of myself man. it's not becos it's mr.p. but more like, i actually could do smthg like this! of course, i plan to do better in future. HAHA. ya, FUTURE. like future hot potential guys!
*sighs in happiness*
on a side note: the more i think abt it, the more it feels like everything juz wasn't as smooth as it was supposed to be. oh gosh. pls let me forget everything tt has happened. i dun wana think abt my embarrassing moment with him!
good day folks! it was a good day after all. my 'best day' out of the whole placement. the happiest day was the friday b4 attachments start. and i'm glad to say i ended the 5wks with a slight bang too!
ok. first of all, last nite,N gave me the idea to speak to mr.p. which was a really good idea.last day and all. juz go for it man! so i seeked help from S as to what to say la. cos u noe, i'm not the pro at this sorta things. by 1am, i learnt what i was to say and even requested for cookies to go along with the whole stunt tt i was abt to pull today.
the next day, i shared my plan. which unfortunately wasn't fully supported by my pals. but a fren did give another suggestion which seemed more feasible and more suitable in my case. so i waited for the opportunity to come. what i'm abt to do was: to speak to mr.p. give him the cookies and say merry xmas. and maybe add in the "i think u'll cute and i looked forward to seeing u everyday." line.
so for the plan to be excuted right, it has to be done alone. alone like me without my frens, and him without his colleages. i missed one chance right b4 noon cos he turns out to be walking behind us! but tt wld have been awkward cos his TA juz came out of the room and i was with a fren.
during lunch i was like frustrated, annoyed, hum(4) & totally wanted to give up the whole idea of approaching him. AFTER ALL HE IS ATTACHED! so what's the point right?!!
came back from lunch. and to be honest, i was hanging outside the clinic (walking in and out) all day long awaiting him to come out from the room. then after the like hundredth time of walking out, i saw him! he was with his 2 colleages coming in from outside the clinic and he had dropped this soft ball(like really soft) which rolled towards me. (mr.p said smthg like throw it back?!?!, i can't rmb man)so i picked up and threw it back. I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY THROWING cos it HIT THE WALL! *faints* so it bounced off the wall and he had to bend and picked it.
me: oops. sorry!
mr.p: it's ok(or issit it's alrite), i'll forgive u this one time
yes he said that. so hooray! no i didn't give the cookies. he wasn't alone and i didn't have my cookies with me!
THEN! after 2 patients and 3 hrs and some talking. i went back and forth to stand outside the clinic to hopefully catch a glimpse of him. gosh if there was a camera, i think the guard will be like super annoyed lah! anyway. after for like the gazillionth time!, i finally saw him walking towards to gents next to the PT clinic. then IMMED i turned ard and went back in the get my cookies!!!!! HURRAY! haha. so the other ppls were still talking, i juz hurried out and this was how it went
me: heyyy! (cos his back was facing me when i came out of the clinic)
mr,p: turns ard, stops and stare.
me: [this is really vague to me. i seriously cannot recall much!!! but it's smthg liddat this i think] today is our last day here, so my friends and i made some cookies, and ... "something abt me giving it to him la"
me: merry christmas? (really cannot recall!)
mr.p: thanks. merry christmas (to u too?)
me: erm, what's ur name?
mr.p: robert
me: i'm joyce
mr.p: *sticks out hand* and i shaked it.
me: [vaguely recalls. i honestly can't rmb. but i RMB CLEARLY that later on, i said THANKS. then i went like, "eh, why did i say thanks?" anyway, merry christmas!]
mr.p: *smiles alot*
and then we walked back to our resp rooms
YUP. so it went smthg along this line. erm. i am very ashamed to mention that i even said out the "thanks. and eh, why am i saying thanks?" TO HIM. amateurs are like this. it's probably the most embarrassing thing. i hope he doesn't think too much into it.
ya. it really went quite vague. it seemed like i blocked out wat he said except for his name. like. honestly man. i did have some eye contact with him i think. haha.
so ppls. now's the time to applause for yours truly for the ultimate brave move of the month!
anyway. juz to prove that i'm not making this whole crap up- after we left the clinic to go change at the staff toilet, we walked past mr.p who was chatting with the OT clerks. and i tried not to look at him, but i did glance up and he saw me, and he said "thanks for the cookies again". by the time i had walked past this wall, so i cld only say 'u're welcome' really loudly for him to hear.
yea. cool day huh. after all that past few posts abt how i've had a crush on him. wanting to make a move. and then later on finding out he's attached. and yet last day, i managed to pull off something 'crazy' tt i've been DYING to do since YEAR ONE! i'm so proud of myself man. it's not becos it's mr.p. but more like, i actually could do smthg like this! of course, i plan to do better in future. HAHA. ya, FUTURE. like future hot potential guys!
*sighs in happiness*
on a side note: the more i think abt it, the more it feels like everything juz wasn't as smooth as it was supposed to be. oh gosh. pls let me forget everything tt has happened. i dun wana think abt my embarrassing moment with him!
Monday, December 08, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
juz another one of those days where u wish u weren't born
today was really bad.
had 2 patients in the morning.
realised my documentation is really poor.
and she even mentioned smthg like 'how arh, gg to have to fail u'
i was like. right. it's all my fault anyways. shld have done a better job back then.
then later the foundation was exposed. right. my fault again.
back from lunch. apparently we blocked the way for the 2Ps who probably joined the fb grp of: i secretly wish i cld punch the slow walking ppls in front of me.
guess it's my fault again. or not. maybe not. nah. wateva.
dealed with a kid in the afternoon. held him back and hence he was late for the OT's appointment. so late tt even after we left, the OTs and his family had to stay back for the treatment. truly my fault. tho they did fail to mention they had another appt.
then. somebody JUST HAD TO INFORM ME TT one of the staff, or 2, had made the comment tt i looked pregnant. like what the fuck. do u know how extremely hurting it is to hear a comment like that? i didn't make it that obvious tho i did kinda complained and all. but i am truly affected by it. truth is, i have grown up all my life being noted (and extremely self conscioused abt) tt i had a long neck(like a giraffe), a long face and super high forehead, disproportionate body, short legs, protruding ass and walking like a duck(mum). and then today for the fucking first time in my life, somebody juz HAD TO INFORM ME TT I LOOK PREGNANT too. like, thanks for self-esteem boost. thanks so fucking much. and whose fault issit? the one who made the comment? the one who told me someone had made the comment? my parents for giving me these genes? the way i was brought up with no correction of my posture? or was it my fault again?
my fucking fault for being born the way i am.
i'm speechless man. my self-esteem has juz hit another rock bottom low. lower than it ever has been.
today, it was one of those days which i wished i wasn't born the way i am.or maybe. i shouldn't be born at all.
dun fucking tell me how i shld be thankful tt all my limbs are still intact, and i shld be grateful for it. tell that to those *&^$%@#*& out there who even made the comment out loud. i can't help if they THINK tt way. but seriously. to say it out? thanks for ruining the rest of my placements.
i can't exactly ignore these comments. it's already said. i've already heard it. nothing's gonna change. i can pretend and say i'm not thinking abt it. but really, if someone said smthg so hurting like this, do u really think u can juz get over with it?
do u know how hurting it is for a plus-size lady to be offered a seat becos the person who offered it thought she was pregnant? tt's how i feel.
now we all know why joyce have had such low self-esteem for the past 20years
20, single and pregnant.
any takers?
had 2 patients in the morning.
realised my documentation is really poor.
and she even mentioned smthg like 'how arh, gg to have to fail u'
i was like. right. it's all my fault anyways. shld have done a better job back then.
then later the foundation was exposed. right. my fault again.
back from lunch. apparently we blocked the way for the 2Ps who probably joined the fb grp of: i secretly wish i cld punch the slow walking ppls in front of me.
guess it's my fault again. or not. maybe not. nah. wateva.
dealed with a kid in the afternoon. held him back and hence he was late for the OT's appointment. so late tt even after we left, the OTs and his family had to stay back for the treatment. truly my fault. tho they did fail to mention they had another appt.
then. somebody JUST HAD TO INFORM ME TT one of the staff, or 2, had made the comment tt i looked pregnant. like what the fuck. do u know how extremely hurting it is to hear a comment like that? i didn't make it that obvious tho i did kinda complained and all. but i am truly affected by it. truth is, i have grown up all my life being noted (and extremely self conscioused abt) tt i had a long neck(like a giraffe), a long face and super high forehead, disproportionate body, short legs, protruding ass and walking like a duck(mum). and then today for the fucking first time in my life, somebody juz HAD TO INFORM ME TT I LOOK PREGNANT too. like, thanks for self-esteem boost. thanks so fucking much. and whose fault issit? the one who made the comment? the one who told me someone had made the comment? my parents for giving me these genes? the way i was brought up with no correction of my posture? or was it my fault again?
my fucking fault for being born the way i am.
i'm speechless man. my self-esteem has juz hit another rock bottom low. lower than it ever has been.
today, it was one of those days which i wished i wasn't born the way i am.or maybe. i shouldn't be born at all.
dun fucking tell me how i shld be thankful tt all my limbs are still intact, and i shld be grateful for it. tell that to those *&^$%@#*& out there who even made the comment out loud. i can't help if they THINK tt way. but seriously. to say it out? thanks for ruining the rest of my placements.
i can't exactly ignore these comments. it's already said. i've already heard it. nothing's gonna change. i can pretend and say i'm not thinking abt it. but really, if someone said smthg so hurting like this, do u really think u can juz get over with it?
do u know how hurting it is for a plus-size lady to be offered a seat becos the person who offered it thought she was pregnant? tt's how i feel.
now we all know why joyce have had such low self-esteem for the past 20years
20, single and pregnant.
any takers?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)