giving thanks

ok, as the holiday season is here, and so is the ending of 2008, i shall be giving thanks to a list of all my blessings.
1. my family. (well, duh. no matter how often my mum scolds me for being lazy and how often my lil bro calls me BABOSENG)
2. my friends.
a) ntmb pals (aiping, simin, xinyi, yihui, shiying, woeilin, lihua & desiree!!)
b) s55 clique (limjie, surong, mel, sheena, angie, amanda, shuwei, eve, cheryl, wenmin)
c) nyp ppls
for those who cared for me, thank you.
3. surviving school - lessons, pract, tests & dreadful exams. i muz learn to give more credit to myself for all the hardwork that i put in.
4. surviving clinicals CE2B. thanks to my 2 CEs, and all the understanding patients who gave me a chance to practice on them
5. food, clothes & shelter. well, thanks mum.

anything significant that took place this year? hmm...
all the birthdays! haha. friends are significant, hence so are their bdays :D
all the gatherings! haha. friends are significant, hence so are the gatherings :D
(waraku-amanda, sushi tei-angie,the manhattan fish market-su, me&lihua?, nydc+canele-eve&sw, shokudu, timbre-qing, 2 more jap restaurant - mel, sheena, sw, sentosa pinic-sy&xy and lots more which i can't rmb!)
F1. that was cool.
Sunway Lagoon (my first getaway without the folks)
talking to mr.p. highlight of the year la. hands down man! (for more info, pls refer to prev post. haha)

my final encounter

life is good. but it can be better.

good day folks! it was a good day after all. my 'best day' out of the whole placement. the happiest day was the friday b4 attachments start. and i'm glad to say i ended the 5wks with a slight bang too!

ok. first of all, last nite,N gave me the idea to speak to mr.p. which was a really good idea.last day and all. juz go for it man! so i seeked help from S as to what to say la. cos u noe, i'm not the pro at this sorta things. by 1am, i learnt what i was to say and even requested for cookies to go along with the whole stunt tt i was abt to pull today.

the next day, i shared my plan. which unfortunately wasn't fully supported by my pals. but a fren did give another suggestion which seemed more feasible and more suitable in my case. so i waited for the opportunity to come. what i'm abt to do was: to speak to mr.p. give him the cookies and say merry xmas. and maybe add in the "i think u'll cute and i looked forward to seeing u everyday." line.

so for the plan to be excuted right, it has to be done alone. alone like me without my frens, and him without his colleages. i missed one chance right b4 noon cos he turns out to be walking behind us! but tt wld have been awkward cos his TA juz came out of the room and i was with a fren.

during lunch i was like frustrated, annoyed, hum(4) & totally wanted to give up the whole idea of approaching him. AFTER ALL HE IS ATTACHED! so what's the point right?!!

came back from lunch. and to be honest, i was hanging outside the clinic (walking in and out) all day long awaiting him to come out from the room. then after the like hundredth time of walking out, i saw him! he was with his 2 colleages coming in from outside the clinic and he had dropped this soft ball(like really soft) which rolled towards me. (mr.p said smthg like throw it back?!?!, i can't rmb man)so i picked up and threw it back. I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY THROWING cos it HIT THE WALL! *faints* so it bounced off the wall and he had to bend and picked it.
me: oops. sorry!
mr.p: it's ok(or issit it's alrite), i'll forgive u this one time
yes he said that. so hooray! no i didn't give the cookies. he wasn't alone and i didn't have my cookies with me!

THEN! after 2 patients and 3 hrs and some talking. i went back and forth to stand outside the clinic to hopefully catch a glimpse of him. gosh if there was a camera, i think the guard will be like super annoyed lah! anyway. after for like the gazillionth time!, i finally saw him walking towards to gents next to the PT clinic. then IMMED i turned ard and went back in the get my cookies!!!!! HURRAY! haha. so the other ppls were still talking, i juz hurried out and this was how it went

me: heyyy! (cos his back was facing me when i came out of the clinic)
mr,p: turns ard, stops and stare.
me: [this is really vague to me. i seriously cannot recall much!!! but it's smthg liddat this i think] today is our last day here, so my friends and i made some cookies, and ... "something abt me giving it to him la"
me: merry christmas? (really cannot recall!)
mr.p: thanks. merry christmas (to u too?)
me: erm, what's ur name?
mr.p: robert
me: i'm joyce
mr.p: *sticks out hand* and i shaked it.
me: [vaguely recalls. i honestly can't rmb. but i RMB CLEARLY that later on, i said THANKS. then i went like, "eh, why did i say thanks?" anyway, merry christmas!]
mr.p: *smiles alot*
and then we walked back to our resp rooms


YUP. so it went smthg along this line. erm. i am very ashamed to mention that i even said out the "thanks. and eh, why am i saying thanks?" TO HIM. amateurs are like this. it's probably the most embarrassing thing. i hope he doesn't think too much into it.
ya. it really went quite vague. it seemed like i blocked out wat he said except for his name. like. honestly man. i did have some eye contact with him i think. haha.

so ppls. now's the time to applause for yours truly for the ultimate brave move of the month!

anyway. juz to prove that i'm not making this whole crap up- after we left the clinic to go change at the staff toilet, we walked past mr.p who was chatting with the OT clerks. and i tried not to look at him, but i did glance up and he saw me, and he said "thanks for the cookies again". by the time i had walked past this wall, so i cld only say 'u're welcome' really loudly for him to hear.

yea. cool day huh. after all that past few posts abt how i've had a crush on him. wanting to make a move. and then later on finding out he's attached. and yet last day, i managed to pull off something 'crazy' tt i've been DYING to do since YEAR ONE! i'm so proud of myself man. it's not becos it's mr.p. but more like, i actually could do smthg like this! of course, i plan to do better in future. HAHA. ya, FUTURE. like future hot potential guys!

*sighs in happiness*

on a side note: the more i think abt it, the more it feels like everything juz wasn't as smooth as it was supposed to be. oh gosh. pls let me forget everything tt has happened. i dun wana think abt my embarrassing moment with him!

a busy week begins as of tmr.
tmr will be a better day. a brand new day, brand new week :D
even though i'll be having 5 patients and being assessed by freda.
*smiles awkwardly*

i'm so looking forward to the weekend already!
sleepover/suntanning at jie's + susu's dance concert + pinic with ntmb pals!

juz another one of those days where u wish u weren't born

today was really bad.
had 2 patients in the morning.
realised my documentation is really poor.
and she even mentioned smthg like 'how arh, gg to have to fail u'
i was like. right. it's all my fault anyways. shld have done a better job back then.

then later the foundation was exposed. right. my fault again.

back from lunch. apparently we blocked the way for the 2Ps who probably joined the fb grp of: i secretly wish i cld punch the slow walking ppls in front of me.
guess it's my fault again. or not. maybe not. nah. wateva.

dealed with a kid in the afternoon. held him back and hence he was late for the OT's appointment. so late tt even after we left, the OTs and his family had to stay back for the treatment. truly my fault. tho they did fail to mention they had another appt.

then. somebody JUST HAD TO INFORM ME TT one of the staff, or 2, had made the comment tt i looked pregnant. like what the fuck. do u know how extremely hurting it is to hear a comment like that? i didn't make it that obvious tho i did kinda complained and all. but i am truly affected by it. truth is, i have grown up all my life being noted (and extremely self conscioused abt) tt i had a long neck(like a giraffe), a long face and super high forehead, disproportionate body, short legs, protruding ass and walking like a duck(mum). and then today for the fucking first time in my life, somebody juz HAD TO INFORM ME TT I LOOK PREGNANT too. like, thanks for self-esteem boost. thanks so fucking much. and whose fault issit? the one who made the comment? the one who told me someone had made the comment? my parents for giving me these genes? the way i was brought up with no correction of my posture? or was it my fault again?
my fucking fault for being born the way i am.

i'm speechless man. my self-esteem has juz hit another rock bottom low. lower than it ever has been.

today, it was one of those days which i wished i wasn't born the way i am.or maybe. i shouldn't be born at all.

dun fucking tell me how i shld be thankful tt all my limbs are still intact, and i shld be grateful for it. tell that to those *&^$%@#*& out there who even made the comment out loud. i can't help if they THINK tt way. but seriously. to say it out? thanks for ruining the rest of my placements.

i can't exactly ignore these comments. it's already said. i've already heard it. nothing's gonna change. i can pretend and say i'm not thinking abt it. but really, if someone said smthg so hurting like this, do u really think u can juz get over with it?

do u know how hurting it is for a plus-size lady to be offered a seat becos the person who offered it thought she was pregnant? tt's how i feel.

now we all know why joyce have had such low self-esteem for the past 20years

20, single and pregnant.
any takers?

tanned, brown, fury ~ kinda curlyhair-like, super cute, & in scrubs (pants missing! oops!)

resembles someone?
:D


life IS good. but it can better ;)

everybody. mr.p is attached.
i dunno if i still wana take a pic with him on the last day. haha

but erm. yea. he's exactly the kinda average american dude who likes to have his fair share of fun and being crazy. the kinda guy tt i secretly fancy gg out with. i found his facebook profile. and dunno why ah, the moment i saw tt it wrote 'listed in a relationship', he didn't seem as good looking in his hundres of photos anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OK, laugh at me ppls!
ok la, he's still quite good looking. maybe not as much as in his pictures.

so, no need for whateva hassles in the future. no more extra toilet breaks. no more thinking and planning and taking a risk blah blah talk. haha. he's a happy chap. i dunno if he's the kind of guy tt i'll go out with. most probably not(based on pictures)

okies dokies. now. what will make me look forward to gg to sgh? no more mr.p to go crazy over. i mean, ok, i can still smile and be nice. but yea. it's kinda pointless in a way.

fyi. i'm not like totally crushed and sobbing my heart out. juz kinda stoned abt it. haha. like. sian. ok. moving on. deep inside, i kinda knew tt nothing gd was cmg out of it even tho another part of me was praying so hard!
soooo... after all. it is juz a SUPERFICIAL CRUSH.

really. i'm like. i dun even know whether to be happy or sad right now.

before wk3 even begun- i'm out of love.

2wks of clinicals done.
this week has been.. productive i supposed. i still feel like my S/E is not there yet.. with all the repeating of questions, and double/triple checking of ans. O/E-wise, eh. still NOT THERE YET. cos sometimes, my sense of feel and touch is not very zai. and observation for gait is still juz as bad. the worse thing is, i probably can't link my observation of gait to my O/E :/
anyways, i didn't cry at all this wk. things have somehow became a little 'straightforward' and certain stuff are like - 'standard protocol'. haha. my ce is gonna kill me if she sees this. but i do know wat i'm doing la.
i've even discharge a pt! on her 2nd visit! :D the pain may still be there.but the impt thing is to get them to strengthen the remaining ms and continue to be active :)

clinicals aside. my dear mr.p
sigh. first wk was love struck. 2nd wk was love stuck. haha. wateva tt means.
3rd wk will be a better wk!! BE BRAVE JOYCE! TAKE A RISK!

call me crazy. haha.

it's abt time man.

it's quite tiring to cry after every single patient u noe that. and thank god i manage to control it in front of my CE. wldn't wana let her know tt i'm so weak.
sigh. i wish there were more 'perfect' patients. but then again. even if the right ones came along, i wldn't have know what to do.

learn tt i have to deal with pain. not mine. but the patient's pain. some ppls are juz overreacting way more la

tmr is wkly eval day. think i'm gonna fail it. at least for this wk.
unless, my 2 patients are 'simple cases' tt i can easily diagnose or smthg

ANYWAY. the fantastic news is.
mr.p smiled at moi today :))) was walking back from the toilet and hopin tt the door of the podiatry room will open. and then juz as i walk past this other room, he suddenly appeared! he turned ard and gave me a smile. well. it was like a simultaneous thing when we smiled at each other. SO HAPPY PLS! ya. tt was before i saw my pt la. i was in such a bad state after my case tt i'd rather not see him.

hope i can deal with my 2 patients without breaking down again. i got to learn faster. think faster! and probe further! and i shall not be defeated or 'slaps my forehead in exaperation IN FRONT OF THE PATIENT'

i can do this. i can. i know i can.

i will.

well, i had my first patient today. old lady with frozen shld
hmmm.. did my subj.. but realised i cldn't catch a lot of stuff.. esp those tt my CE asked.. like i totally zoned out and focused on what i have to ask later. sux man.
then after that, supposed to plan wat obj to do.. ok.. but still abit blur and stuff
and treatment.. was ok..
had to get a lot of prompting from the CE cos i was clueless when it came to clinical reasoning. i JUST KNOW SHE HAS TO DO THIS AND THIS. the EXACT reason. not too sure :/

well. i was the only one who had a pt today, the other 2 will be having theirs tmr.. and i dunno if i will want to have one tmr.. haha. can be a really good learning experience la. but i feel incompetent. for the time being :(

seeing mr.p at least twice a day is good:) wish i cld see more of him!
gosh i wonder why they work such long hours! AM usually practice as privates-work less, earn more.
oh wells. who cares. i get to see more of him!

okok. now's the time to recap and do up my hw and stuff. tmr will be a better day!

ha. damn happy. ok. maybe not as super high as i was 2 hrs ago.. but still quite happy la :)

went down to sgh to see our CE juz now, and guess who i saw?!?!?! MR PODIATRY!!! OH MY TIAN! from FAR. abit FAR, i saw these 2 tall built guys, and immediately, i knew it was THEM. the podiatrists! or at least i still think they are since they use 'that room'. hahaha. anyway, we walked PAST THEM :))) and yup, stupid me nv had any eye contact with mr.blondie cos i was too happy and struggling to control my gleefulness(i dun think there's such a word.but.) yup. happy me :)

CE turns out to be pretty nice. so, i hope everything will be fine :)))

mr.podiatry, here i come! WOOHOO!

toughen up joyce!

i was taken aback when he told me smthg in the email. i guess he was right. i sorta came to the realisation, that i have no life. i only have school. my so-called life revolves ard sch&stress. and it sux.

anyway, on the way to dinner in the car, i sorta teared up.. but managed to fight back all the tears and prevented a breakdown in front of my unaware parents.
there's no exams cmg up. but clinicals, UL Ax & Rx, giving instructions, and all these are juz bothering me a lot. not to mention-my future.

i really hope i can pull through all these.. i've came such a long way. and i dun wana give it all up. i juz really hope i know what i'm doing. i hope i'm doing the right thing.

everything is gg to juz get tougher. will it get any easier? seeing the yr3s, they seem to know it all. will i get to that stage?

now's the time to be strong... crying is only of a temporary relief. after all the crying, it's back to reality.

i wish there was more to life than sch. i wish i cld be doing more things, having more fun. i wish i have other commitments other than sch. i wish i was studying in australia from yr1. i think i'd have a better chance succeeding with the pace gg slower. i wish i had a life tt actually feels like one.

i wish. life was easier. on me.

placements out. i am at sgh. AGAIN. at outpatient clinic. AGAIN.

my heart sunk when i saw my name there. along with the other 2 names.
unfortunately,i felt like half MY battle was lost already juz becos of who they were vs who i am. (get a grip joyce!)
the good thing however. is that it's near my hse. and i won't feel lost on the first few days in the clinic, or ard the hospital. haha. food court and delifrance!

but still.. sigh.

quoted from jac
"i believe that in the end, everything will turn out fine"

i juz gotta have a little faith in who i am, and what i can achieve.

not to mention. the possibility of meeting yet another cute and hot angmoh PODIATRIST! AHAHAHAHAHA

maybe it's a relieve? somewhat a relieve.
or maybe i'll regret in the years to come.

for now, it's good. i think.
thanks des, for everything :)


and now, i look forward to the day of the arrival.

i was a student model for MS today, question on neck :S
so there were 12 PTs who came in, every 20min, answered some questions, and then did some assessments on my neck..
the most outstanding. besides the fact tt he's a caucasian, is the tt he's the only one who adjusted the plinth and placed a pillow under my feet! OMG! hahahaha.. i didn't expect the pillow thing.. and ya, he was also the only one who said back in his country, they will get the pt to take off the shirt. haha. of course aud said it wasn't necessary..
something 'lame' took place at the end of everything at 5pm. and... i managed to talk to that caucasian on our way to the station. HE IS
german. married. 16mth old daughter. smokes. wife is a private PT. stays at bishan condo. was at F1, been here got 6wks.
ahahahahaha..

kk.. overall was a good experience.. i wldn't mind gg again, esp if there were more hot caucasians. AHAHAHAHA. crazy me.

now tt i know wat those PTs need to know, perhaps its a better decision to take those registration exams right after i grad in order to work at aussie. HAHA. tt's juz a thought anyway.

i dread monday.

sunway lagoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is too long. let me keep it short

biggest disappointment: parks were closed on tuesday. god. had to settle for genting
best thing: the company-qing tricia peigin su. thank u all so much for everything. esp when i was unwell during the trip to and from and at genting. so so so sorry tt we didn't get to take flying coaster. i think it's partly my fault :(

yup :) other than that. i'm proud to say tt i've gone to malaysia without the folks, and came back the exact way i left.

i wonder if there's any way to cure motion sickness. hmm...

i will be away for 3 days 2 nights...
to... SUNWAY LAGOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOORAY! like finally!!! i'm getting out of singapore! without my folks!
YIIIPPPEEEEE...

of course i wished it was to gold coast instead.. but.. oh wells...

everyone pls pray tt i go there in one piece and come back the same!
:D
happy mood

had sleepover at kiyoko's hse! with jac & caryn(who was late as usual. haha)
played mahjong. and surprise surprise! i was the biggest winner! PING HU. haha. i'll rmb that! and thanks jac for all the feedings!!!
watched the chelsea vs some romanian club match. super boring.... and yea, i was dozing off at half time already... in the end it was nil draw. sian. they better score when they go back to the bridge..

my mind is thinking abt median nerve. yes. MEDIAN NERVE. sounds abit distant and off as i typed it out.. but yea.. i wish i can start doing some sort of revision but i dun think it's possible.......

hope the sunway lagoon trip works out!

i have a dream
a song to sing
to help me cope
with anything

i'm having trouble with leaving comments on other lj blogshop. and it frustrates me alot becos i really like the stuff tt i'm seeing, and i really wana buy them but the buyer will nv noe. and they dun seem to be replying to my email either. that's worse.
now, i can only trouble my fren to help me buy. i hope this sorts out soon. otherwise, i gotta start on my quit-onlineshoppingaddiction program. which is probably good for me and my wallet.

what defines the right guy?
looks? money? personality? character? persistency-irritability? LOL
can the lack of one trait be covered up by the rest?
how confusing, isn't it?

anyway. f1 done. super fast. super fun.ok not tt fun la. except the parts where we were soo clueless wat to do during our super long break!!!! HAHAHAHA. alonso won. wat a turn of events... who wld have thought?

hmmm.... wonder if my shirt will ever come thru.. will the buyers reply my emails for those dresses? oh maybe i shld take it as a sign tt i should stop all this money wasting activity.

hope to get some decent cash from selling my new Alevel books later at bras brasah!!

F1- first day. BORING. super disorganized. i probably only work 30min out of the 10am to 6pm shift. seriously.
cos there were SO MANY of us, we rotated among each other to shop jalan and to work.
before my fren n i were on our way to tap out, these 2 italian MEN approached us.. started talking. then one guy said he actually wanted to BRING US IN TO WATCH THE RACE. LOL. hello! read our tees- ticketing! we dun need tix to go in!!! hahaha.. those dirty men.. he said it quite clearly tt he was looking for singapore girls to go watch the race tog.. aiyo.. they have approached the wrong ppls! haha. (but i'm flattered.) in that ugly shirt and pants i was wearing, they still wanted to ask moi? but they, or rather the man i was chatting was very nice. haha. if he was younger and hotter, i'd have said yes immediately!!! LOL. interesting.
ohohoh! muz mention this. angmohs GALORE. yiipppeee.. hahahaha *grinning from ear to ear*

and for those who are wondering why i was sooo selfish not to share my nachos on the day of mama mia - i had a bad encounter once. 4 of us went to watch a movie, we shared the nachos and popcorn. so initially i was holding on to the nachos, then i offered to the other 2 at the othe end. then AFTER A WHILE. i juz asked them to pass, and OMG! only crumbs left!! CAN U IMAGINE MY HORROR! my favourite nachos!!!! i was soooooo pissed, lucky i didn't pay much for it, cos there was a discounted price. but still, u can imagine how mad and upset i was not to be able to eat much of my FAVOURIT NACHOS & CHEESE (FROM GV PLAZA SOMEMORE!) so there's the story. i'll never forget that and i will NEVER LET THE NACHOS LEAVE MY SIGHT! esp not when there's NINE OTHER PPLS! fyi, i offered to ap(who declined) and i did let yh have some as requested. ok! so next time ah! buy ur own nachos!!!! I AM NOT SHARING MY NACHOS!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

MAMMA MIA!!!
with 9 other bandmates!!! OMGOSH!! how fantastic tt everyone cld make it.. and i muz say.. everyone loved the movie rite?!!!! it is really way way way nicer than i thought it wld be. anyone from band shld catch it. anyone who enjoyed HSM and hairspray shld catch it. anyone who loves abba shld catch it. anyone who loves to sing shld catch. anyone who's anyone at all shld catch it!!!!

and.. oh god. the GV nachos!!! fantastic! u see, the key abt eating nachos during the movies is to actually eat it BEFORE the movie start. or immediately when u sit in the cinema. cos the cheese is the nicest when it's the warmest!!! and so. that's why i'm abt to have a terrible sorethroat. damn.

online browsing forever. everyday, everytime i go online. sadly nothing appeals to me...

F1 cmg up. hope my menses doesn't affect me, better still, wait until after sun6pm then start k.

and i'm so happy someone finally bought that top which i didn't like!!! but i discovered a yellow stain after confirmation. totally not my fault, i had no idea where the stain came from. too bad i guess. sorry buyer. really didn't see it until last nite. and after all, she's buying it at less than 6 of the original price. can't expect to be that perfect rite. haha. i'm so evil.

went alps cafe with kiki & jac. pretty cool place i muz say. love the ambience there. wasn't too sure why there were man u fans present too..
the clubs songs were pretty nice.. i've always wanted to learn them.. but some were kinda.. vulgar. though others were super funny..
the other chelsea fans were a pretty cool bunch.. except for a few.. nvm. wld love to go back there once more!
did i mention there were a couple of cute guys? haha

i need some space. i dun need someone to cling on so much. give me a break can?

and i dun feel like giving tuition anymore. i'm surprised by my own attitude. but yea. after a couple of no pickups and no return of phone call. i can't imagine how in future i wld have to postpone any of the tuition sessions. and thinking up til the time when i have to go for placements.. wldn't be too good to bring all the germs to the kid's hse rite?

had a nice dinner with soo many ppls last nite :)
bought my 21 jeans. 2nd pair of the week :) haha. i realise the colours are pretty similar but one is closer to being black.
i'm so pissed tt i didn't open the door to see if the postman was there juz now. i only saw thru the hole. dammit. now i have to wait 2 more days to go collect at cresent. maybe i shall swim too! yay :D !
erm. need to deposit my moolah soon. otherwise sure anyhow spend.
f1 training aka more like briefing. hope the 3 days will have nice soothing weathers!!! today's one sux like hell

soo many plans..
sun. meet kiki for chelsea match
mon. mama mia with ntmb bunch
tue. shopping. again! omg!
wed.???
thu. mahjong with nyp ppls?
fri-sun. f1

and there. one week gone.
oh god. i so scared. hols are ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

finally a new blog skin.
and fyi. whoever in their crazy mind who's interested in reading the archive- the link is actually over the tiny square box. -.- who wld've thought so?
not exactly enjoying the current j.p's salem falls. maybe all her books revolve ard too many characters. can't seem to keep track of 'em all..
did i mention i fell on both knees while doing my extremely slow jog ytd? ya. and this time, there were both slight abrasions and major blue blacks. so bad tt if i lie on my tummy. it actually hurts the knee tt's in contact with the bed. say 'ouch'!
soo many ppls are putting up posts on sgflea. i think it's hard to sell my pumps. less than 24hrs, and mine is under the 'earlier posts'. like who'll bother to see rite? i actually wldn't mind trading mine with this other shoe seller. but her feet is bigger than mine. sigh.
i bought a pair of jeans under the bargain section at f21 for 24bucks! OMG. means i have enuf moolah to go buy the black pair at wisma. kinda pissed when i cldnt find it in the vivo branch. and their labels for all pants are dn long pants. like duh.

:D results better than expected. it's really a surprise to me. except for the lousy CP and Neurosci grades[which i totally expected. thank god it wasn't worse than wat i thought]. erm. i dunno how to say this.. but i suppose i really am better than what i think of myself. of course, it also comes back to the point tt - there's a possibility that there has been moderation.. so i'm not that gd either :S

anyway, it's worth a celebration :) i totally deserved that 50$ for my F21 jeans please mummy!!!

results out in 6 hrs time.. wasn't really thinking abt it until i met up with the girls at timbre.. it was quite nice.. place was pretty quiet, prob cos it was a mon nite. thanks to rest for the mini treat :)
went out with sw earlier to shop and dine. oh god. i saw and tried on the perfect pair of black denim jeans tt i so badly wanted! but it's abit low. like squat down can see butt liao. HAHA. but i think i'll do my precautions and i shall get it! right after i get my pay!!! saw my acct balance juz now. OMG! ALL TIME LOW MAN! dammit!!!! wat's wrong with me?!?!?!?! seriously need to sell my stuff away. ASAP
anyway, i kinda have other issues to 'deal' with... so it's kinda occupying my mind more than the results. but i REALLY HOPE I DUN HAVE TO TAKE SUB FOR NEUROSCI! PLEASE!!!

hmm.. anyway, plans for the REST OF THE HOLIDAYS:
1. go exercise! aiyo. i feel so paiseh to be a PT who can't pass the 2.4
2. read all jodi picoult's novels! brilliant!
3. sell some stuff and get moolah
4. revise? LOL. seriously. the thought of CE2B not very erm. positive. it's almost like a make or break period.
5. go for sunway lagoon trip?! yes please!

ya. dun make so much to-do lists lah. usually also can't finish.

BCLS passed. but secretly i'm worried someone else will look at the slip and disagree with ly's decision. but i think ly is really super nice to me leh! i offered to be the first one to get tested, she let me chose the model and she gave me a couple of tries to print the slips before letting me pass as a first attempt! oh god. i feel so relieved.

can't wait for work to end. but i think the pay will be like no pay, cos it'll juz be covering all the losses and spendings tt i've made over the past mth. and then i have all the time in the world to read my novels. GO JOG!!! i dun wana fail my 2.4 :S and shop.. and dine with my good pals :) sounds like a good plan. and i really hope that sunway lagoon trip WORKS OUT!

sian. tmr cpr theory paper.
it kinda reminds me of driving test. although i nv gone through it. but i think it's quite similar.
hmm... its really quite similar leh! lol
take it easy joyce. it's no biggie. 2 attempts each. if not take outside, then muz pay. i think i can do it. so many ppls have done b4 me lor and they pass too. so how tough can it be RIGHT?



right.

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
OMG?!?!?!?!?!
hmm...
chei.

was kinda strange. wat took place juz now.
and then i read that
so now, i think it's really kinda confusing. like. mixed signals?

OH god.

but RIGHT NOW. i'm thinking. wth man. *rolls eyes*
hmpf.

mooncake festival job.
dun like the aunties. even though they do help to boost the sales. cos young ppls like me are not as convincing and as experienced as them. but still.
heel pain. back of knee pain. starting to see my veins in my leg clear-er. possibility of varicose veins arising. YUCKS.
erm. learned that graciousness is a 2 way thing. customers-pls be more polite and courteous. dun try all 13 flavours and DUN BUY ANY.and juz walk away. tt juz sux lah! like c'mon man. there has to be one that u like rite??? and can u all like pls acknowledge the person greeting u or smthg?? cos obviously the person is trying to catch UR attention. so even if not interested, juz a smile or nod or shake of head will do! seriously.

been looking out. will. juz looking. at the HEs and SHEs and THEMs. if anyone even know wat i'm toking abt.

can't stop online shopping. even though there's nothing in particular i wana get. i still do it.. sigh. looking forward to my pay.. heard its by cash! woots!

You are 11:59 a.m.
You are late-sleepy relaxation, the half-awake moment when you realize it's morning, but you don't have to get up, because there's no place you have to be. You are that cozy spot under the covers where everything feels temporarily perfect, even if you know you'll eventually have to wiggle out and start the day. Maybe you're the artistic type, who doesn't function well on a normal schedule. Sleep's important to you, and you like the freedom of sleeping as late as you want (especially since that is closely related to the freedom to stay up as late as you want). You like to roll out of bed, put on some comfy clothes, and get a laid back start to the day. If not everything on your list gets accomplished, no worries. Your only priority is having no priorities ? you just want to take things at a slow, mellow pace.

gonna get heel spurs soon. or even plantar fasciitis. oh god.
and i'm so extremely disappointed with the the way things are DONE at that place. my tian ah. it's unbelievable. ME. having a mum who is oh-so-particular abt food and hygiene. SIGH. i wonder if i can really carry on. deception?dishonesty?sigh... ...

anyways, thank god for the break today. i got soooo much that i wana do.
1.go library and get sister's keepers! FINALLY. making reservations are soo much easier and convenient and soo fast too!
2.buy stuff. like. heel cushions?
3.cut hair? shld i? it's like 20$. sian.
4.read 19minutes
5.watch desp hsewives
6.F1 sign some contract. i dunno if i shld go.. cos my menses fall on that period. sigh!!!!! will they kill me if i miss one day of work?? but so far, i've managed to survive my '1st day' outside my hse with not too much trouble (eg. at bright vision & juz the other day at taka-so proud of myself please) but it wld be nice to have an extra job. to get some cash flow coming in...

i'm unwilling to buy all the things that i WANT. cos i worked so hard for it. i'll have to set aside a portion of it for my savings acct.

monday and tuesday

started work. nice place. was kinda freaked out when the customer started choosing their own flavours. was at a loss, luckily the others were experienced enuf to cope with it. and finally learned how to use a cashier. (eh, machine and person is same name ah?) hope i can rmb it for tmr. haha

today. went to suntan with jie. SIGH!!! why never get tanned?!?!?!?!?!?! ARGH! i still got that stupid rectangle though. time to go shop for a new one! ahahaha.....
lessons learnt:
1. die die also dun be in contact with sand! (soln: tanned at poolside instead)
2. tanned for longer time! 2hrs? 3?

oh god. why issit that when we're having fun, time seems to fly be oh so fast?! i dread work. i gotta go rmb price list and flavours for different colours. NO STRESS! wed to friday! shall get back to my jogging routine tmr!!!

holidays...
been reading jodi picoult's 19minutes and watching desp hsewives4 online. very nice!
think i've recovered from the supposed gastric flu.. now i really need to go out and run! if only it wld stop raining!
went to buy my pumps. juz bought the 1st pair tt i tried in the 3rd shop i went in.
spree-ing as usual.. saw a nice tote bag.. i really wonder why girls can never have enuf bags! i mean, each time i buy one bag, i'll be super pleased cos i think it'll last for all occasions, and then when i see the next nice bag, i'd say e same damn thing again. women.
haha. went queensway and saw a really super duper nice kinda bf shirt(but not exactly bf shirt). cost 38$! so ex! but it looks sooo sweet and pretty! i'll get it after my first week of work. haha.. the gd thing abt working. moolah. not a lot. but enuf to be used for buying things tt can never be too many. women women. why do we spend sooo much? i still needa save up my money for 4th yr!
gg to watch xinyi's ntu band concert at vch tmr. it's been sooooo long since i sat thru a band concert! looking forward to it!
and i think i'll be doing some crafts project this mth! unleash my creative juices!

kk now i'm bored. cos there's smthg wrong with the connection of the sound system. so no desp hsewives on this com. no music :(

i'm trying to stay positive abt the results and not even go anywhere near there.

i cried so much during the movie - money no enough 2.
usually it's juz eyes wet. but juz now. i really kept on crying..
it was soooo sad more than anything..
now i realise why the mum was part of the poster..
and it really wasn't abt the money. it was abt her love for her kids.
gosh. first time i cried so much...
and i was right next to my mum.

21aug08

615:started revising for neurosci
730:went to tapao breakfast
740:strange sharp ache in tummy
740-9plus: pain. vomit. diarrhoea. cold sweat. weakness in legs. inform tt i may not be able to take the test
10: went to doctor. gastric flu perhaps
1045: she called. D+ for prac test(how awful). so if i take alternative and still fail overal, i have to repeat module, but if i take today's paper, fail, still got sub paper. of course, there's the possibility tt i might do super well in my alternative given more time to study. but it cld be hard to do too.
1115: made the decision to leave for sch.
1145-230: decided tt i have made the correct decision of cmg. the paper wasn't that easy. the questions asked are those tt i'll prob not focus on. so oh wells.
245: went home
330: saw A LOT of cockroaches at the void deck. was horrible sight! didn't dare to take the lift initially cos one of the cockroach entered it too. called my mum to come down. but i saw another maid and her ahma go in the lift, no cockroach, so i followed them in. eeks. n i realised there are DIFFERENT TYPES of cockroaches. like more than 3 types at least.

so here i am. done. and completed with my exams. supposed to be doing trf for my oldnavy stuff. but i dun dare to leave my home cos of the cockroaches

anyways, juz wanted to mention tt i didn't really breakdown during this period of studying... i mean, there were times when i doubted my ability and my knowledge of the topics. but i knew deep down, that wateva question tt's thrown at me, i'll somehow have a ans to it(of course, smtimes the ans are wrong la) anyway. tt's good. my gpa my gpa my gpa. i really don't think can make it.. esp cos of cp and neurosci :( GPA matters a lot!

i wana recover from this gastric flu thingy. i wana go out and have fun!

MS was fine. thank god not much 'history' of the case study given. of course i left out some maybe minor yet still important points, especially for the NOF question. well well.. thank god for the good grades for the past pracs and assignment. i hope this will help to pull up my gpa cos i can bet my lousy CP and possibly the to-be-quite-jia-lat neurosci paper will soooo drag it down.

i dun feel tired rite now. despite 2 hrs of sleep from 3 to 5am and then another quick and nice nap from 8plus to 9plus am. i can't wait to get a good nite's sleep after all the terrible nights tt i was experiencing, tossing and turning, dreaming!!! damn waste energy leh.

tmr is the last day! less than 24hrs. sooooo exciting! gonna catch a movie with the class ppls. eat my nachos!! muahahahahahahahaha

let's go let's go!!

damn sian-ed over today's CP paper.
it's way harder than the physiology pract test lor!!! and seriously way harder cos i've nv seen some of the words before! and there's no way half marks will be given for MCQ!! argh! no wonder give until 2marks. so tough man!
ARGH! disgusted!

so now, i can officially say that my GPA will NOT improve, and i wld totally dread to see that it goes under that bare minimum. SIGH!!!
my dear teacher, can u please moderate the results?!?!?! PRETTY PLEASE!

i can probably say MS's mcq will be juz as tough. i guess there's a reson why they give 2m instead of 1. it really tests ur ability and ur knowledge of that stupid topic!

wateva wateva. let's juz get through this and look forward to the holidays.

neurophysiology paper. the day tt michael phelps get a rest day, and so i dun have to think abt his 6th goal while i'm doing my paper.

all went well, except for essays, which got me a little worried. cos from what i memorised, it didn't fit the marks allocation. like 8 marks for a certain question seem ridiculous cos there was only a few lines to it. Maybe he's being lenient, so for 4 sentences written, tt's 8 marks wala! hmm... haha.. i sure hope he's lenient in giving marks for the essay section! *fingers crossed*

but overall, i'm so glad i made it to the exam hall with not much erm.. anxiety.. well, of course there was some the night b4... sigh. joyce o joyce.. same old me..

gymnastics is really nice to watch btw. i'm sooo amazed with their talents and techniques.

can anyone believe this?!?! 3 days more to physiology exam, and here i am checking out the sinagpore waterski and wakeboard federation?!?!?! well, it's true. i'm kinda keen. but it's really unlikely tt i'll participate cos east coast is soooo far (trp will be ex) and so is the lessons..

oh wells. we'll see..

now i need to read my neuro first. before i proceed to physiology

IT IS TIME.
to get serious. to study.
i've got my 3 phases tt i need to complete for each module
1. PREPARE
2. REVISE
3. MEMORISE

first 2 sounds vague, but i know what i need to do.
so little time, so no time to be stressed! juz do what i need to do!! avoid breakdowns at all costs!

good luck to one and all.

we've been there, we've done that.
one more time, everyone!

yippee!
i totally feel that my CP grade is justified now that i see my MS grade!
okok, maybe Not Justified. but still. with relations to one of my previous post. i'm feeling GOOD.

and some ppls are juz so good with their practs! it does get me worried abt my chance of getting a scholarship.. i wonder how generous the hospitals or various healthcare groups are when giving away the scholarships.. hmm... PLEASE LET MY AUNT BE "SPONSORING" ME!! then i no need to worry so much.

i'm sooo unsure if i wana go. i need to have fun. but i dunno if it's worth the money. sigh.
wish wish wish..

LIMBEI! argh!

it's C+. kinda what i expected. based on how i performed. u noe, when i see the results. and i compare it with the rest, i can only be thankful of my grades. for i know- i didn't work as hard as the rest get this grade.

hmm.. improvements for GPA this sem? still on track.
i suppose.

had a good time at shokudo, with the newtown ppls.
juz a couple of pics..




at o'briens at citylink


at cosmo?(didn't really take note of the name of the bar. it's outside wisma)


erm. gotta start mugging. but i need the internet. no, i juz want it to be there to do *ahem* smthg.
wat a waste of my time.

so far, no signs of stress. yet.

somebody juz kill me and give me a slap in the face if i fare poorly for my cp pract tmr ok?

argh.

i juz dun get it.

and i'm such a slacker.

i better get a decent grade for my MS. otherwise, it's like i'm happy for nothing.

think my mum will kill me for having dinner out tmr.

sigh.

life's good after all
despite whatever tt is going on.
had a great time with the s55 ppls.. took lots of pics too:D can't wait to spend more time with them after my exams :D
katsu curry is tasty! i shall try tt dish in every jap restaurant i go in future. haha
found lifehouse's take me away & you and me. love them
managed to scrape by in that couple of 'little things in school'
love chatting with new ppls. hope the 'friendship' can last...
and bao is with kennethang! haha. totally expected tt.

to my dear friend

wish i cld help u more. wish there was smthg i cld do. wish i cld change ur mind. wish i cld make u stay

but i want u to be happy. no matter what.

u're still my buddy.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I mïss you

love,
joyce

i'm sooo happy with my online buys!!!!!!

the first one is a kimono-lookalike top

then this F21 beaded halter

and this wetseal white sunglasses.

the first came in on friday, the other 2 on sat.. yippee:) which brgs me to inform u to pls read the previous post and buy the top if u like. cos i really dun.

CAN SOMEONE PLS BUY THIS FROM ME?!?!?!?!?!?! PRETTY PLEASSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE

LETTING IT GO AT 20$ MAILED.

SIAN.

i have a confession to make. to my dear friends of the s55 clique: i wld like to sell away the pair of puma pumps that u guys gave me for 20th bday. it's not that i dun find it pretty. but if u guys had gone out with me long enuf, u all shld have figured tt i've never bought or ever wanted a pair of pumps.. hmm. oh wells. juz wanted to let u all know. *not tt i think many of u will be reading this entry anyway* so, rite now- i need the price of the shoes.
ps: yes, surong. u were right abt my body language tt nite. i juz didn't wana spoil the whole atmosphere n hype over it.

i wana buy new clothes, scarves, jeans, bags, shoes and everything else.

but i'm 'broke'.

i have decided that i will give tuition a shot, after my exams. and hopefully, the kid i take is well-mannered... i need a tutee that i can teach until i go for conversion. the pay is supposed to be saved, but, i guess it can also make up for the shopping sprees...

i think my mum will kill me if she sees that amt in my acct book.

oh wells.

why am i still thinking abt shopping when i have to study??

tmr will be a better day :)

it's a relieve. thank god.

i dunno what i shld say to her. but i hope she'll cheer up & move on.

the issues have been there. i've always noticed and have known what 'type of person' this person is like.. it's pretty darn obvious. it's juz that my dear fren wasn't as well-informed as i was... yikes.

had a long nap juz now.. those really long kind that u wake up from, thinking issit the next day already? in the end, nv go run lor. think can't run this week liao.. except weekends.. :(

it's not such a good feeling. although i know i'm not that unfortunate person. i have the sick feeling i am one of the few she mention as some 'came up with a new concept'. in that case, i'll definitely show the evidence and backup to my statement. becos i personally stronlgy feel that i dun deserve such a *&%$&#$!$# grade. unless it's becos of my electrode placement. in that case, it really sux then.

oh gosh. wat a dreaded feeling... and have to wait til after MS or CP :S speaking of which, it's 2 in the morning and i'm still awake. wonder if i can make it for class tmr at 9:S

and i really can't stand suctioning. it's a waste of my tissue packets!

i dunno how our RM grades will be.. there wasn't much of a positive comment with regards to where we 'did well'... :( i think she might go back and look thru our stuff and realise we have alot of loopholes.. :'(

oh wells, at least i'm 'free'. phew. i hope to make better decisions with regards to that, in future.

i still rmb u made that point. in the end, so many things had to change. what bullshit it was.


i cannot wait for rm to be over. pls do not bombard us with questions. please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i hope she won't be able to identify our loopholes.

a crazy semester.
i'm glad stats and rm will be over soon.
next week is chiong/pia-all-the-way week. in preparation for the crazy 2 weeks that follow. not to mention the written papers, which will come very shortly after these tests.

no stress yet.

my mum is gg for the operation next wk. really hope she wldn't go. wateva it is, i hope the pain goes away SOON. i wonder if she will get pre or post PT intervention?? hmm.. haha. ok, not funny still. surgery is a serious thing. i pray everything goes smoothly.

stats is stupid lah. i hope the paper is easy like what he mentioned b4.
and i hope nobody listens and bother to ask too many questions abt our rm which is full of loopholes. argh.

i'm optimistic abt passing my neuro and cp pract test. even tho i haven't begin my preparation. haha. at least i can HUFF (she said mine was an excellent huff. haha..) erm. ms prac is like stupid.

this weekend will be a productive one.

girl : hi, are you single?
random guy1 : yes
girl : are u gay?
random guy1 : yes
girl walks away

girl : hi, are you single?
random guy2 : yes
girl : are u gay?
random guy2 : no
girl : are u working?
random guy2 : no
girl walks away

girl : hi, are u single?
random guy3 : yes
girl : are u gay?
random guy3 : no
girl : are u working?
random guy3 : yes
both stares at each other and kisses on the mouth
girl: oh. *disappointed with the kiss*
girl walks away

this is really quite funny lah. it's a scene in p.s i love u. somemore at the lead's mourning service or smthg liddat. the girl is phoebe in friends. and she's really quite humerous leh.
but it does make me wonder if it's so simple tt u can juz walk up to a stranger and ask questions like that. doesn't it make u look desperate? or issit more of a straightforward kinda practice tt those women over there are starting to use since they're so sick of not being able to find the right man?

epa done. shld be alrite i hope. it's amazing how much information we can absorbed within days b4 our actual tests when these info were actually passed to us over a few months.

a lot of revision to be done :S
still got CP which turns out to be not-so-done after all
and stats too, which has kinda gone to a plateau
research meth. i think it'll be put off since our presentation is not next week. how typical.

there seems to be endless revision.

but i'm still gg to watch private practice online, and later on ugly betty 2

i'm having trouble waking up early these couple of weeks. have been rushing to sch for the 10am class. i even had to pay 14$ for today's cab fare cos i was SO VERY LATE. i hate taking cabs. it's juz the worst feeling ever. esp when the money comes out of ur own wallet. IT SUX. it's no excuse of spending the 30$ tt we earned by playing frisbee in the wee mornings during sundown. oh wells.

really hope to go for that jog tmr, provided 3 of my alarms all work properly.

Comms: 90% done
Research Method: >50% by friday?
CP: 95% done
Stats: 60% done

revision!!!! oh man. it's almost midnight. i wana sleep now so i can catch the germany match later without dozing off. i still need to revise physiology and stats. and i'm so distracted by THE INTERNET.

aeropostale is having a mega sale!!!

i want to sun tan!

i let my teacher put a cathether down my nose and into my mouth. i am so brave please! *haha, but i think the rest of the class is braver, cos they let each other(the not so-pro) put it down them!* HAHA

i wana hang out with my friends til late and catch a late night movie and play tennis the next day!

i dun really want a job alr. sian.

i'm getting paid 30$ for sundown marathon. of which 23$ goes to the zapped copy of TB. damn.

some ppls... are juz... so... argh... (it'll be over soon!!!)

ANYWAYS, i've had a great dinner with my great pals-sm,sy,wl at the hongkong cafe... totally enjoyed chatting with them :D then we made the impromptu decision of watching a late night movie- sex and the city at tiongbahru... sm had gone home to get her car (so that she can fetch us back after the movie. thanks fren! u're the best!) and i went wl's hse so that she cld take a quick shower..

the movie was better than what i expected... i wldn't really say it's a R21 movie.(haha, not that i know what's the difference betw M18 and R21) but it feels like M18 to me lah. i enjoy seeing the display of their close friendship.. haha.. hopefully my ntss and s55 frens will be like them.. haha.. MINUS all the gucci, LV and prada bags and designer labels outfits OF COURSE.

oh oh.. and dante is hot man! esp during the shower time! HAHA

and there was this cute angmoh outside the cinema... hahahahahahaha

oh oh.. and i almost got freaked out when i walked past this grp of guys and 1 girl at the bus stop tt sm alighted me at.. juz tot they were some baddies.. until one of them asked me where the bridge(the one tt links a couple of park) was.. phew. haha.. stupid of me.. parents have gone to bed when i reach home.. but shortly after i went to bed, my mum came over and was like - 'oh, u've came back?' and that was like in the nicest tone i've ever heard her spoken to me after cmg home... haha.

yups. i'd like to say my hols ended with a BANG!! or rather, on a happy note. haha.. later on will be playing tennis and badminton(maybe)...

which reminds me of the not-so-happy note.. SIAN.

got a call abt the flyer+balloon distribution job that i applied for. the guy mentioned smthg abt wearing a uniform. immed i thought of the hideous and gross jap uniform tt i saw some ppls were wearing at orchard some wks ago(no offense to jap sch's uniform. but juz the tot of it as a way of attracting ppls eeks me out). i asked the guy if it's Singtel and he says no. hopefully, it's juz a simple top and cap.. if need me to wear some bottom tt in one way or another exposes my fugly thigh down orchard-NO THANK YOU.

revising MS =)

at the same time, i simply and absolutely cannot resist that few online spree websites. i dunno man, i really DO NOT LIKE THE CLOTHES ON SGFLEA, but i juz can't stop myself from visiting it over and over again!!! ARGH. saw this spree which i tot wld make a good christmas presents to all my gal pals!!!!! hahaha.. but the thought of my last bank acct page juz reminds me that my savings have been dwindling(?). oh wells. i do hope that i get the vivo job this wkend *prays hard*

hols cmg to an end.. do hope to complete filming for comms, start on research meth ppt slides and also to revise physiology...

reflection

juz having one of those moments... thinking of whether i made the right decision of not having a CCA, not picking up tuition... and now, if i have the financial capability to attend an australian uni even if i do make the mark. i have yet to tell my parents about abt the fees... my older bro has started working, seems like the army is paying a good sum...

was trying to look for a part time weekend job and again, the cons outweigh the pros. after hols, it'll be like tests and presentations one straight after the other...

sigh.. money woes.. and here i am, looking at one of those high-waist belts. i dun think i shld get it, even tho it's cheap.

want to set up my online store to sell my old clothes. but kinda realised they're not in perfect conditions. oops. haha, wld give a 7/10 lah..


sigh. and so, i've wasted 1hr of the time tt i cld use to study. 11.30pm-spain playing later!! yes!!!

i can't stand myself sometimes either.. never seem to get through anything.. at all. well, except my studies lah. but still. i wish i had the mentality and determination tt my sports cca frens have...

this is juz one of those nites where i reflect upon what's gg on and try to make changes.. the world is constantly changing, and hence, wateva change i make, it can only last for a period. (good excuse, huh?)

on a lighter note, zoo was alrite. went wif jie, saw cerise. nothing interesting.

need the tan and tennis soon!!!

don't go crying, sobbing and looking pathetic when u don't reach ur expectations.
u have only yourself to blame.




it's an official break. relieved.


life's too short to be wasted by hanging ard with these ppls.

and so there's no news. at all. well well well.. some ppls do move on real fast!

had a great time at jie's bday party. played mahjong, drew those pretty paper figure thingy, had delicious meal and super yummy cake,played murderer wif pt1, played ps3 and, overall, was juz nice spending so much time wif my gd friends :DD thanks for the party fren!

me:lets hope we can replicate our cp results
joce: or do even better.

and so we did.

list of to-do things during this 2 wks hols
1) CP proj (half done, thanks to wh and gang)
2) Comms proj
3) Research Meth proj (have to get draft approved first)
4) Stats ( deadline wk 17. let's not fret too much first)
5) EPA prac test (soon)
6) Neuro prac test (soon later)
7) Stats ICA (ard the same time)
8) Neurophysio - read up, esp on prac too
9) MS notes
10) CP notes

i hope to complete half of everything. as in HALF of EACH ITEM. and i will do it.

oh. and i really can't stand all the shopping centre wif SO MUCH FOOD at their basement!!! argh!!! so annoying. like how can i resist the donut or icecream la?!!!

SIAN AH!!! IRRITATED. SLIGHTLY ANNOYED. I SHLD HAVE EXPECTED THIS. OH WELLS. GUESS IT HAS COME TO AN END.

THANK GOD.

NOW, JOYCE, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!!!

HOORAY TO BEING ONLINE WITHOUT GETTING BUGGED.

done wif 3 tests this wk!!!! means i get to enjoy the 2 wk break? NO!!! PROJECTS TO BE DONE (and graded :S) there's research meth, comms, stats, CP. omgod. so many leh.. and hardly done any concrete stuff yet.. which means we may have to return to sch almost every other day.
not to mention that we'll have stats ica (wk13) and the ^&%$%$#&* EPA pract test. and neuro too(somewhere along the few wks). AND, not to mention there's theory stuff that we have to read up on like physio, ms and cp, BECOS, very soon( i mean, VERY VERY SOON), the written exams will begin...

*breathless* juz writing these stuff.

this wk was quite a drama wk cos of cp and ms.. i'm glad i did above av for cp and reseach meth.. hopefully it'll be replicated for ms *fingers crossed*

THAT ASIDE. we shld really all take a decent break. hit the beach, get tanned, exercise more, go out for dinners, maybe ECP once? and tennis twice?

oh oh!! and for the first time, i tasted good maggi mee cooked by MOI! haha!!! i dunno why, but i was nv good at cooking those package maggi mee(the seasoning was always too little and soup tasted weird) but yea, it tasted oh-so-good. HAHA. juz being random.

and i'm really not sure if i still wana speak to u, cos our conversation is getting more boring and less exciting :((

looking forward to the jie's birthday party and sleepover!!!

life goes on.

looks like my GC trip may not work out after all. how annoying. how upsetting. i really feel like crying. in fact, i'm tearing already. it juz sux. really does. shld have went after As but becos of fren, didn't go. Shld be planning to go this sept(even went to agencies and got another fren to get my brochures) but once again, another fren let me down.

and i'd have insisted on going for this trip regardless of my parents' opinion.

i really really wanted to make this trip happen. like seriously. i dun think anyone can possibly imagine my disappointment when i got rejected once again. like i am tearing right now.
i juz wanted to make that step of leaving spore and gg to a foreign country on my own(wif frens, not folks) and i'm not interested in like hk nor tw cos i'm JUZ NOT INTERESTED! the reasons why i want to gc may seem oh-so-superficial, but that is juz where i want to go(since i was in sec1)! and damn the world for causing global warming leading to the hike in petrol and airport tax..

i'm speechless man. i dun even know wat else to say. my life really sux. i study all yr rd, but my grades are still not fantastic, i make no achievements in school nor society nor life. i have no outside life. i know there are people worse off than me. but really.. when i look back, i feel like i'm a HUGE LOSER after all.

and i need $70k for deg conversion. fuck.

i knew u didn't wana go in the first place. u shld have been more firm in rejecting me earlier on. u gave me false hopes. and now, all i can feel is disappointment.

valentin

it was HOT HOT HOT!!!!

awesome.
first time.



taking a break.
now get back to studying!

boring!!! i haven't been revising as much cos there was juz too many breaks the past wk (vesak day and elearning day) nothing on sgflea appeals to me ANYMORE. except for the chelsea jersey tt costs 60$, but dun have my size :(
anyway, been so bored that i juz keep doing personality tests etc.. haha.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

ah.. one distraction gone, the other comes along... fun. but, very very time-consuming.

lots to be done over the weekend. and this doesn't include revision for any of the lectures... there's special olympics screening tmr. i hope i know what i'm doing. Hope i have time for a decent jog in the late noon... so much for trying to exercise 5 times a wk. sigh.

went to suntan at jie's pl on thu.. so sorry fren. made u wasted a couple of hrs to accompany me. and then u had to be stuck outside ur own hse with no key cos the blur me still gets confused abt getting out of ur hse. SORRY! and then to make u go to eplaza to retrieve my thumbdrive... aiyo. so paiseh! hope everything works out for u be it the ppt or the tests!
sun tanning - was interesting. but my legs were extremely flithy wif all the suntan lotion stucked + disgusting black thingy that i had to scrub over and over again. eew.

yup, time to get back to serious work.

chelsea lost. again. in the penalty shootout.

congrats to man u. the only cheery thing is that no.7 missed his penalty. and i bet. he muz be thanking every god in the world that his miss didn't cost the club to lose.

and on the other hand, i muz vent my displeasure about some people.

no.1
didier drogba- why muz he start a fight? he cld have use that time to score a beauty!!!

no.2
makelele- another trouble-maker

no.3
john terry- it''s really sad that the captain was the one lost the title. i dun blame him if he didn't take the free kick, but really, to miss it?! he cld have let someone else do it! someone more professional.. after all, he's a defender, not a striker.. he kicks a ball like he's defending it! not striking!! i know he wants to take the 5th one cos it cld be a winning moment for him. sadly, it didn't turn out the way he planned.

no.4
anelka- oh wells, wat a waste of money isn't it?



my day cldn't get any worse seriously!
-i found out smthg abt this person, and it was juz disappointing. at least it didn't turn sour.
-poor archuleta lost the american idol.


really, can my day be any worse????????????

oh rite, i saw 2 lizards in my living room this morning. a huge one and a tiny one. tt is like the icing on the shit. seriously.

it's kinda fun. yet annoying. damn.

block or not? i'll miss it

i think .. i think.. i think. by the time i post this, i'd have made my decision.


so in the end. i didn't.
i need it. to make my life a little less dull.




anyways, i'm proud to have deleted some of the spree websites that i go. haha.
but then again, i went to vivo, and bought a sundress($23.90) and a sweater(14bucks original was 28$). and amanda told me GSS is cmg soon. well, i dun think i have time for GSS. no money either. haha. time to finally head the books after 3 days of total slacking!!

wk6. 2 more wks to cp prac, ms prac, research meth. jia you all!

had mahjong session last nite!! from 4pm to 11pm!!!! me and angie played all the way!!! then half way, jie and amanda had to leave, so surong and shuwei replaced them.. it was pretty fun... especially with the comical mistake that shuwei made - while all of us were juz arranging the tiles into the 18rows, we can hear sw counting.. she went '1, 2...12..oh shit.' then the rest of us turned and looked at her, and then her tiles. and we realised, she had picked 12 tiles and were looking at what tiles she was having alr!!! it was damn hilarious!!! we were all so absorbed wif arranging it, we didn't realise sw had done wat she was doing. and the table was like 'normal size''. so. hmm. VERY FUNNY INDEED. and of course, the greedy me was always so ever ready to grab my tile... and surong was funny too.. trying to be the parishilton-wannabe. rome lin surong? haha. and then. tt happened. wateva.

and it turns out that my folks will only be back from genting on MONDAY EVENING!! HELLO!!! wat happend to the go to eunos temple for praying?!!! seriously, as we kids grow older, my parents are starting to juz leave us on our own.. worse is that they still insist i have to take care of my 15yr old 'stuck-to-the-com-for-15hrs' brother. -.- and the older one is having fun in korea i suppose.

i haven't done much revision. oh wells. i guess i can mug all i want when sch starts again. eh, stuck to sgflea-ing throughout the day.. but of course, nothing i saw was pretty enuf for me to rush down to the atm machine. NOT EVEN CHARLOTTE RUSSE!!! ARGH DAMN! the dress i wanted only left L size and none of the other dresses, no matter how i stared over and over again, appeal to me!!! and to think i badly wanted their apparels a mth ago. guess i'll settle for the tote bag..

i'm supposed to save MONEY... i dun think i'm a spendthrift, but definitely wasted alot of time on these online shopping websites.. anyways, i think. i think.. my fren has finally sorta slightly maybe agreeed to cmg on the gc trip in sept.. i really hope it works out some way or another. i know i dun have enuf moolah. maybe borrow from my folks? after all, i've been a good girl not asking extra money for stuff like HANDPHONE or ipod or erm. wateva. yup. i know i shld save up for aus conversion.. but then HOR- i need nice clothes to go aus rite? haha.. can't possibly buy my clothes there. it's gc leh. not bangkok!

finally managed to find da's songs thanks to eve :) love them all. wld prefer the songs didn't have the screaming fans in the backgrd.

think i'll go vivo and try some dresses or find a big high waist belt. i have to go to vivo. i need to get away from the com!

got this from a fren's fren website. not that accurate i think.

What Joyce Chan Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

1-definitely no for the work well wif ppls/charming
2-selfish & overbearing - yes yes! unfortunately...
3.success comes rather easily? nah. go thru hell lot of stress and breakdowns :S
4.strive for perfection-probably. i can be ánal at times according to some ppls.
5.prone to a little paranoia? definitely not. cos it's ALOT of paranoia.

i was kinda proud of my effort to finish up my notes cum revision for research methods up til 2 plus in the morning. am embarrassed to say i have a breakdown halfway thru that has nothing to do wif study stress. anyway, i think i've gotten over it. i can't expect the whole class to be my best frens rite?

anyway, i juz have to sort out some of my thoughts. i know i've been kinda ''anal ''(hate using this word of myself) abt the few projects that i have to do. i know it's like only a couple of credits compared to the more impt mod like MS and CP. but i do hope to do well cos i know it's these little points that can and will help to pull up the overall gpa.

yup. so, rite now, i'm supposed to be studying for MS.. but then hor, i'm starting to feel this mixed emotions of fear, confusion, uncertainty as i flip thru the bruckner book. as i look at the terms that i've learnt during my first year, and i look thru the stuff related to examination of the knee and its associated injuries, i felt scared. like scared not becos of whether i can memorise for my exams anot. but truly scared and afraid as to whether this is really what i want to do for the rest of my life...

physiotherapy is what i want, but i'm not sure whether i can do it anot. i'm not sure if it's in my blood to become the capable and confident physiotherapist that i aspire to be. much less a sports physiotherapist.

here comes the negativities: what am i supposed to do if i leave this course? i'd be even more confused, and a even bigger burden to my parents and with no aim in life. that's not wat i want. there's no way i'm gg to uni becos nothing there interests me and well, uni life isn't as slack as what we were told in jc.

as i look thru the book, i'm not sure if it's becos of the long day i have + insufficient sleep or issit becos subconsciously, my mind or heart (or maybe the brain) is unsure , that is causing my eyes to wet.

i really dunno what to do. this really getting tougher by the day.

i really hope this is juz a phase that i'll soon get thru. and maybe as i learn more in class and get the whole concept, i won't be as clueless and helpless as i'm feeling rite now.

i had a outburst juz now. i dunno how it came out. i'm juz feeling frustrated abt having to work wif ppls that are total opposites from me. wish they wld share my sense of urgency. they probably dislike me to a certain extent, and this makes it even more difficult for me to get things done. and so i have to rely on others. juz hope they'd be more understanding. and perhaps, at times, learn to be a little more serious.

it's kinda draining juz to see the ppls ard me studying so hard, borrowing books, discussing and helping each other out wif the lecture contents. gosh. and there i was, thinking abt shopping, money not enuf, dresses and sleepover.

i feel kinda guilty. i'm not sure if i'm doing enuf revision at this stage. i do read up on most of my notes AFTER the lectures. but i dunno if i can retain the information for more than that hour which i used to study.

i can't wait for friday. get to meet up wif shuwei and amanda. maybe i'll be swimming in sch too for the very first time?! (tt is if my menses dun come)

but then again, friday marks the end of wk 4, which means we're closer to these tests:
1) CP pract
2) MS pract
3) Research meth ICA

eh wat else? yup, after that will be 2 wks of hols followed by a bunch of tests.

not to mention my most dreaded thing(s) - PROJECT WORK! 3 of them! *faints and die*

on a lighter note, i juz wana say
i love wholemeal breads
i wana buy a couple of dresses
i'm in need of a REAL holiday tt is not in singapore
prisonbreak3 is here on ch5! and i loved the first episode!
chelsea made it to the euro finals :)
chelsea also managed to caught up wif manu in the league
i enjoy listening to david cook's always be my baby (but i think the repeat mode won't last as long as 'so close'')
i'd rather be blogging and online window shopping than revising
i'd rather do filing of my notes than revise for it
i'd rather plan wat to do than actually do it.
i wana go suntan soon.
i acutally switched on and off my computer more than 2 times a nite cos i keep forgetting to do things tt i want/need to do.


LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE USED FOR WAITING!
MOVE ON PPLS!
STOP WAITING!

doggies!

i saw a bunch of dogs juz now while cooling down after my jog. it was such a.. cute sight. it's like some dogwalking club and alot of their owners were with their dogs.. some caucasians too. and i was kinda surprised the dog owners juz let their dogs go into this pond (which i dunno was clean anot) and also let their dogs take sips of water from the pond. (yucks. anyway, i hope none of them get poisoned) i have a very poor vocabulary when it comes to the different breeds of dogs. but juz to name and describe a few out of the 20over dogs, there were - labradors(can't spell), maltase(eve's puppy), the police dog, the wolf-lookalike dog etc. haha. gosh, i really can't name the breeds. but they were all sooo cute and pretty and handsome :) [yes, i'm refering to the small/medium/big dogs, none of the dog owners caught my attention]

and then! i saw them walk up this trail which i have never noticed since i started joggin there for like 2 mths! OMG! the place i was jogging was this small park (the path is like round(200m per rd)) i noe the park leads to this other bigger park which i have nv gone to. and the grp of dog walkers came down from that side. AND THEN. they walk to this other side of the the small park and when INTO the 'forest'?! oh my god?! i didn't even noe there's a trail that ppl can walk on! i shall check it out the next time rd.

i shall so not rely on my wkends to catch up on my studies.

chelsea for the double?!

3 CHEERS FOR CHELSEA!

HIP HIP-HOORAY
HIP HIP-HOORAY
HIP HIP-HOORAY

i'm so glad and happy and estatic that chelsea won liverpool. i thought their performance at the first 90mins were so-so only.. luckily i managed to wake up 5 min b4 drogba's first goal.. nice shot! and then later on torres equalised, and i was like :( yup, but it went on the extra time and chelsea scored twice! oh my tian, i really wana kill the linesman for giving drogba offside when essien wasn't even aiming at him! how can he do that?! i was sooooooooo happy at first la! jumping like mad! then i heard the word offside. like so obvious essien only had intention to smash the ball into the net! ANYWAYS, 2min later, chelsea got a penalty thanks to hypia. and dear frank lampard took the spot and scored. for once, i was 90% sure he wld do it. (i was always scared for his penalty kicks) he's doing it for his mum. i'm so proud of him, and i'm sure his mum is too :)

late scare by babel to think that chelsea may not pull thru after all. but they did la. haha!

ordered mac as i promised my lil bro that i wld if chelsea is thru. mcgriddle is ok only. i prefer the normal susage mcmuffin w egg. i didn't really like the soft bread in mcgriddle.

yup. it'll be an all english finals at moscow! i sincerely hope this year, chelsea wld get the euro cup. i mean, c'mon, manu, give chelsea a chance(and a cup) too lah! although, i secretly wish chelsea wld snatch the premier league away from manu. ok, not secretly, but OPENLY. u can do it chelsea!

i told my friends that, if chelsea wins either the euro or the league title, i'm gg to get a chelsea jersey! YEA :)

feeling emo

feeling really emo and pissed abt *sch stuff*.

i miss those days where i had a reliable grp of ppls friends i cld lean on.

i feel like i'm in the wrong place.

this is how i try to be more optimistic:
when i start to dislike/hate some people becos of one particulat smthg,
i try to think abt FIVE happy things tt i share wif the peope or the things the people have done for me. and hopefully it'll remind me not to dislike the people. but so far, these 5 things juz ain't tt big a deal.


but i'll still try to be optimistic.

he's got the nicest blue eyes i've ever seen. i'm gg to tell him tt the next time he smiles and walk pass me :)

things are getting slightly outta control in sch. i worry for myself and also for my peers. i hope everything will turn out fine.

and someone made a really *i shall not say but it starts wif a D-word* comment in class today. GOSH. wat was she thinking?!

today is day3 of wk2 of sem1 in yr2.

dress for sale!

DRESS FOR SALE!!! BRAND NEW! PLEASE BUY!!!!
SOLD!



i bought it for 25$. but it doesn't fit moi cos of my fat arse. so it's brand new ok!!! please buy!! i'm selling it for 23$(inclusive of postage). if u want a meet up, then i'll sell for 20$:) see i'm so nice. i'm desperate ppls! i dun like the sight of a brand new item in my closet which i can't wear!

and i hate that asshole who seems interested in the dress but doesn't seem interested in making payment. ASS.

20th bday

pics for u mel! haha! i dun want to upload so many cos it'll take forever to load my blog. the rest of facebook!!


Thanks to : angie, amanda, eve, limjie, mel, sheena, shuwei, surong, wenmin for celebrating my 20th bday with moi!!!!!





NYNY was really nice!!! haha, thanks to the waiter who wished me happy bday like 2-3 times! the food is nice too!!! love the cheese balls! but the bbq spare ribs alittle too hard to chew.. and the powerpuff girls cake!





went to sky garden and receive my presents! million thanks again!





chatted wif cheryl on the phone. hope her chao kuey tiao works out tmr.





i feel so blessed :)





oooh. last but not e least, the icing on the cake, a bunch of angmohs *whistles* walked pass us in the mrt.. haha..


happy belated bday to me!!!! *GRINS WIDELY*

yes i am disappointed. of course i am. i was looking forward to the day. oh wells. sometimes, life juz doesn't go ur way.

anyways, CE2A is finally over. Wldn't say it as interesting as sgh. but definitely a good exposure to the old folks and their conditions. i dun have much to say abt the attachment this time.

online spree-ed again.

clinicals

clinicals have been 'good' so far. nothing as upsetting as wat some of my other fellow frens being attached to acute hosp are feeling.

i've been attached to rehab and chronic/palliative wards.. mostly, or rather, ALL geriatric cases.. mostly patients with strokes(left cva, right hemiparesis). yup. but it's still quite different la, even though their conditions are similar.. Dealing wif elderly is very different from dealing wif ppls seen at the outpatient clinics of acute settings. the treatment plan usually involves bed mobility, sitting and standing balance, and ambulation.. i wldn't say it's 'easier'. need alot of patience too..

but i suppose my partner and i are having a better time, juz picking up little things here and there. we did chest physio today. dunno why jm say it's interesting, i think it's - 'not exactly wat i think pts shld be doing'. but anyway, since it's part of the job, then do lor..

ppls, the end is no where near. it's not ending in 5 days time. this is juz the beginning k!



*looking forward to sch!*

podiatry

i was looking for scholarship juz now but the dateline is over :S and then i came across this: overseas scholarship for podiatry.. not many ppls noe what's it abt, and there's no local courses available. i was tempted to apply for it, even tho i'm not crazy abt being a podiatrist. after all, for the past one yr, my goal was to become a physiotherapist.
but there it was. a chance- for a scholarship - overseas - degree.
did i mentioned tt i failed to get the scholarship which i submitted my application last min on the dateline itself last yr? erm. they didn't even call me up for an interview, probably becos my grades were juz average and my testimonial was soooo boring.

i wonder how many ppls will apply for this scholarship? maybe i'll be the only one? haha. then they'll give it to moi!

for those who think i'm interested in the scholarship becos of a certain *ahem*, it's a no. the thought did flash across though.. hehe

i needa submit a resume in order to apply for it.. i'm too lazy to type one out.

i needa participate in some form of cca like NYAA, to er, impress whoever it takes, to give the scholarship to me. if i do set out to start participating in NYAA, i've got to be committed.. and not give up halfway the way i did for squash. damn. and i probably have to give up my aus trip in sept.. oh this is not juz for scholarship for podiatry, it's also gg to be useful for my PT scholarship.

my grades juz ain't tt fabulous. it's passable. i wanted a 3.3 but i'm not close. and it's strange cos i tot the individual grades look good on its own. but becos my lousiest grade in both sems hold the most credit points, i guess tt's where it pulls down my gpa.

sigh sigh... shld i juz apply for the overseas podiatry thing? haha. high chance i won't get it anyway. and if they ask me to go down for interview these 2 wks, wat am i gg to say? and surely. all the troublesome things & emotions i have to do IF i do get it. nah. i won't get it. but still.. it's tempting. but hold on.. which country wil i be gg? better be aus.. AH. i'm overthinking this man. i'm not even typing out my resume yet!!! and on wat basis will they select me? my passable gpa? my empty cca record of 1 yr in nyp? my lack of enthusiam in class? failure to attend that v.impt tok tt we were strongly encouraged to go?

*yawns* so troublesome... i shld be revising for my clinicals tmr.. another 2 more wks!