life goes on.

looks like my GC trip may not work out after all. how annoying. how upsetting. i really feel like crying. in fact, i'm tearing already. it juz sux. really does. shld have went after As but becos of fren, didn't go. Shld be planning to go this sept(even went to agencies and got another fren to get my brochures) but once again, another fren let me down.

and i'd have insisted on going for this trip regardless of my parents' opinion.

i really really wanted to make this trip happen. like seriously. i dun think anyone can possibly imagine my disappointment when i got rejected once again. like i am tearing right now.
i juz wanted to make that step of leaving spore and gg to a foreign country on my own(wif frens, not folks) and i'm not interested in like hk nor tw cos i'm JUZ NOT INTERESTED! the reasons why i want to gc may seem oh-so-superficial, but that is juz where i want to go(since i was in sec1)! and damn the world for causing global warming leading to the hike in petrol and airport tax..

i'm speechless man. i dun even know wat else to say. my life really sux. i study all yr rd, but my grades are still not fantastic, i make no achievements in school nor society nor life. i have no outside life. i know there are people worse off than me. but really.. when i look back, i feel like i'm a HUGE LOSER after all.

and i need $70k for deg conversion. fuck.

i knew u didn't wana go in the first place. u shld have been more firm in rejecting me earlier on. u gave me false hopes. and now, all i can feel is disappointment.

valentin

it was HOT HOT HOT!!!!

awesome.
first time.



taking a break.
now get back to studying!

boring!!! i haven't been revising as much cos there was juz too many breaks the past wk (vesak day and elearning day) nothing on sgflea appeals to me ANYMORE. except for the chelsea jersey tt costs 60$, but dun have my size :(
anyway, been so bored that i juz keep doing personality tests etc.. haha.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

ah.. one distraction gone, the other comes along... fun. but, very very time-consuming.

lots to be done over the weekend. and this doesn't include revision for any of the lectures... there's special olympics screening tmr. i hope i know what i'm doing. Hope i have time for a decent jog in the late noon... so much for trying to exercise 5 times a wk. sigh.

went to suntan at jie's pl on thu.. so sorry fren. made u wasted a couple of hrs to accompany me. and then u had to be stuck outside ur own hse with no key cos the blur me still gets confused abt getting out of ur hse. SORRY! and then to make u go to eplaza to retrieve my thumbdrive... aiyo. so paiseh! hope everything works out for u be it the ppt or the tests!
sun tanning - was interesting. but my legs were extremely flithy wif all the suntan lotion stucked + disgusting black thingy that i had to scrub over and over again. eew.

yup, time to get back to serious work.

chelsea lost. again. in the penalty shootout.

congrats to man u. the only cheery thing is that no.7 missed his penalty. and i bet. he muz be thanking every god in the world that his miss didn't cost the club to lose.

and on the other hand, i muz vent my displeasure about some people.

no.1
didier drogba- why muz he start a fight? he cld have use that time to score a beauty!!!

no.2
makelele- another trouble-maker

no.3
john terry- it''s really sad that the captain was the one lost the title. i dun blame him if he didn't take the free kick, but really, to miss it?! he cld have let someone else do it! someone more professional.. after all, he's a defender, not a striker.. he kicks a ball like he's defending it! not striking!! i know he wants to take the 5th one cos it cld be a winning moment for him. sadly, it didn't turn out the way he planned.

no.4
anelka- oh wells, wat a waste of money isn't it?



my day cldn't get any worse seriously!
-i found out smthg abt this person, and it was juz disappointing. at least it didn't turn sour.
-poor archuleta lost the american idol.


really, can my day be any worse????????????

oh rite, i saw 2 lizards in my living room this morning. a huge one and a tiny one. tt is like the icing on the shit. seriously.

it's kinda fun. yet annoying. damn.

block or not? i'll miss it

i think .. i think.. i think. by the time i post this, i'd have made my decision.


so in the end. i didn't.
i need it. to make my life a little less dull.




anyways, i'm proud to have deleted some of the spree websites that i go. haha.
but then again, i went to vivo, and bought a sundress($23.90) and a sweater(14bucks original was 28$). and amanda told me GSS is cmg soon. well, i dun think i have time for GSS. no money either. haha. time to finally head the books after 3 days of total slacking!!

wk6. 2 more wks to cp prac, ms prac, research meth. jia you all!

had mahjong session last nite!! from 4pm to 11pm!!!! me and angie played all the way!!! then half way, jie and amanda had to leave, so surong and shuwei replaced them.. it was pretty fun... especially with the comical mistake that shuwei made - while all of us were juz arranging the tiles into the 18rows, we can hear sw counting.. she went '1, 2...12..oh shit.' then the rest of us turned and looked at her, and then her tiles. and we realised, she had picked 12 tiles and were looking at what tiles she was having alr!!! it was damn hilarious!!! we were all so absorbed wif arranging it, we didn't realise sw had done wat she was doing. and the table was like 'normal size''. so. hmm. VERY FUNNY INDEED. and of course, the greedy me was always so ever ready to grab my tile... and surong was funny too.. trying to be the parishilton-wannabe. rome lin surong? haha. and then. tt happened. wateva.

and it turns out that my folks will only be back from genting on MONDAY EVENING!! HELLO!!! wat happend to the go to eunos temple for praying?!!! seriously, as we kids grow older, my parents are starting to juz leave us on our own.. worse is that they still insist i have to take care of my 15yr old 'stuck-to-the-com-for-15hrs' brother. -.- and the older one is having fun in korea i suppose.

i haven't done much revision. oh wells. i guess i can mug all i want when sch starts again. eh, stuck to sgflea-ing throughout the day.. but of course, nothing i saw was pretty enuf for me to rush down to the atm machine. NOT EVEN CHARLOTTE RUSSE!!! ARGH DAMN! the dress i wanted only left L size and none of the other dresses, no matter how i stared over and over again, appeal to me!!! and to think i badly wanted their apparels a mth ago. guess i'll settle for the tote bag..

i'm supposed to save MONEY... i dun think i'm a spendthrift, but definitely wasted alot of time on these online shopping websites.. anyways, i think. i think.. my fren has finally sorta slightly maybe agreeed to cmg on the gc trip in sept.. i really hope it works out some way or another. i know i dun have enuf moolah. maybe borrow from my folks? after all, i've been a good girl not asking extra money for stuff like HANDPHONE or ipod or erm. wateva. yup. i know i shld save up for aus conversion.. but then HOR- i need nice clothes to go aus rite? haha.. can't possibly buy my clothes there. it's gc leh. not bangkok!

finally managed to find da's songs thanks to eve :) love them all. wld prefer the songs didn't have the screaming fans in the backgrd.

think i'll go vivo and try some dresses or find a big high waist belt. i have to go to vivo. i need to get away from the com!

got this from a fren's fren website. not that accurate i think.

What Joyce Chan Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

1-definitely no for the work well wif ppls/charming
2-selfish & overbearing - yes yes! unfortunately...
3.success comes rather easily? nah. go thru hell lot of stress and breakdowns :S
4.strive for perfection-probably. i can be ánal at times according to some ppls.
5.prone to a little paranoia? definitely not. cos it's ALOT of paranoia.

i was kinda proud of my effort to finish up my notes cum revision for research methods up til 2 plus in the morning. am embarrassed to say i have a breakdown halfway thru that has nothing to do wif study stress. anyway, i think i've gotten over it. i can't expect the whole class to be my best frens rite?

anyway, i juz have to sort out some of my thoughts. i know i've been kinda ''anal ''(hate using this word of myself) abt the few projects that i have to do. i know it's like only a couple of credits compared to the more impt mod like MS and CP. but i do hope to do well cos i know it's these little points that can and will help to pull up the overall gpa.

yup. so, rite now, i'm supposed to be studying for MS.. but then hor, i'm starting to feel this mixed emotions of fear, confusion, uncertainty as i flip thru the bruckner book. as i look at the terms that i've learnt during my first year, and i look thru the stuff related to examination of the knee and its associated injuries, i felt scared. like scared not becos of whether i can memorise for my exams anot. but truly scared and afraid as to whether this is really what i want to do for the rest of my life...

physiotherapy is what i want, but i'm not sure whether i can do it anot. i'm not sure if it's in my blood to become the capable and confident physiotherapist that i aspire to be. much less a sports physiotherapist.

here comes the negativities: what am i supposed to do if i leave this course? i'd be even more confused, and a even bigger burden to my parents and with no aim in life. that's not wat i want. there's no way i'm gg to uni becos nothing there interests me and well, uni life isn't as slack as what we were told in jc.

as i look thru the book, i'm not sure if it's becos of the long day i have + insufficient sleep or issit becos subconsciously, my mind or heart (or maybe the brain) is unsure , that is causing my eyes to wet.

i really dunno what to do. this really getting tougher by the day.

i really hope this is juz a phase that i'll soon get thru. and maybe as i learn more in class and get the whole concept, i won't be as clueless and helpless as i'm feeling rite now.

i had a outburst juz now. i dunno how it came out. i'm juz feeling frustrated abt having to work wif ppls that are total opposites from me. wish they wld share my sense of urgency. they probably dislike me to a certain extent, and this makes it even more difficult for me to get things done. and so i have to rely on others. juz hope they'd be more understanding. and perhaps, at times, learn to be a little more serious.

it's kinda draining juz to see the ppls ard me studying so hard, borrowing books, discussing and helping each other out wif the lecture contents. gosh. and there i was, thinking abt shopping, money not enuf, dresses and sleepover.

i feel kinda guilty. i'm not sure if i'm doing enuf revision at this stage. i do read up on most of my notes AFTER the lectures. but i dunno if i can retain the information for more than that hour which i used to study.

i can't wait for friday. get to meet up wif shuwei and amanda. maybe i'll be swimming in sch too for the very first time?! (tt is if my menses dun come)

but then again, friday marks the end of wk 4, which means we're closer to these tests:
1) CP pract
2) MS pract
3) Research meth ICA

eh wat else? yup, after that will be 2 wks of hols followed by a bunch of tests.

not to mention my most dreaded thing(s) - PROJECT WORK! 3 of them! *faints and die*

on a lighter note, i juz wana say
i love wholemeal breads
i wana buy a couple of dresses
i'm in need of a REAL holiday tt is not in singapore
prisonbreak3 is here on ch5! and i loved the first episode!
chelsea made it to the euro finals :)
chelsea also managed to caught up wif manu in the league
i enjoy listening to david cook's always be my baby (but i think the repeat mode won't last as long as 'so close'')
i'd rather be blogging and online window shopping than revising
i'd rather do filing of my notes than revise for it
i'd rather plan wat to do than actually do it.
i wana go suntan soon.
i acutally switched on and off my computer more than 2 times a nite cos i keep forgetting to do things tt i want/need to do.


LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE USED FOR WAITING!
MOVE ON PPLS!
STOP WAITING!

doggies!

i saw a bunch of dogs juz now while cooling down after my jog. it was such a.. cute sight. it's like some dogwalking club and alot of their owners were with their dogs.. some caucasians too. and i was kinda surprised the dog owners juz let their dogs go into this pond (which i dunno was clean anot) and also let their dogs take sips of water from the pond. (yucks. anyway, i hope none of them get poisoned) i have a very poor vocabulary when it comes to the different breeds of dogs. but juz to name and describe a few out of the 20over dogs, there were - labradors(can't spell), maltase(eve's puppy), the police dog, the wolf-lookalike dog etc. haha. gosh, i really can't name the breeds. but they were all sooo cute and pretty and handsome :) [yes, i'm refering to the small/medium/big dogs, none of the dog owners caught my attention]

and then! i saw them walk up this trail which i have never noticed since i started joggin there for like 2 mths! OMG! the place i was jogging was this small park (the path is like round(200m per rd)) i noe the park leads to this other bigger park which i have nv gone to. and the grp of dog walkers came down from that side. AND THEN. they walk to this other side of the the small park and when INTO the 'forest'?! oh my god?! i didn't even noe there's a trail that ppl can walk on! i shall check it out the next time rd.

i shall so not rely on my wkends to catch up on my studies.